Am I acting retarded?

[blue toxin]

Maybe I'm just being stupid and overkilling the protective aspect of intercourse.

I've had intercourse with my girlfriend with just a condom. But not just any condom, it had to be a spermicidal lubricated condom. But that wasn't enough. I refuse to finish inside, I'll pull out about 15 seconds prior to me finishing, and just finish myself quick off to the side with the condom on. I also would check the condom every so often to make sure it was okay and there wasn't any visible tears. After a while I said, okay I'm done. Let's use condoms and birth control in order to continue this, otherwise no intercourse. Well, she's not going on birth control for about 2 months because she's got light surgery coming up and the antibiodics and medication she'll take after would only screw up birth control.

I talked to my buddy and he said he understands I'm just trying to be safe but, if I'm not only using condoms smart by reading on various sites to make sure I'm putting them on 100% properly, but also refuse to use anything BUT spermicidal condoms, PLUS pulling out ahead of time, he said maybe I'm just overkilling it.

What do you folks think?

[Ellynn]

I think your being smart and careful. Nothing wrong with that.

Its nice to know there are guys out there that care about something more then just putting it in her.

[blue toxin]

I think your being smart and careful. Nothing wrong with that.

Its nice to know there are guys out there that care about something more then just putting it in her.

Yeah. I consider myself one of the few, but I'm happy to say that. My girlfriend and I were together for 4 full years before we had intercourse (though we fooled around with other stuff until that point). So "putting it in her" wasn't one of my top priorities.

But anyway, would you consider my paranoia of the pullout + spermicidal condom a bit overboard? I mean some of my buddies look at me like I'm being TOO safe. Makes me wonder what kind of pregnancy prevention methods they use...

[blue]

theres no such thing as tooo safe.

[blue toxin]

theres no such thing as tooo safe.

I understand. But would one not agree... that spermicidal condoms + the pullout method is a good choice?

[vashti]

It seems as though you are properly worried about getting her pregnant, but I think you need an additional form of birth control.

[Ellynn]

Its true, at least your aware that you need protection. But its always good to have another backup method.

I always insist on a condom and the pill. Double is better then one thing or nothing.

[RollingonremZ]

Its true, at least your aware that you need protection. But its always good to have another backup method.

I always insist on a condom and the pill. Double is better then one thing or nothing.

if used excessivly, doesnt the pill cause infertility though?

just something i heard.....

[blue toxin]

if used excessivly, doesnt the pill cause infertility though?

just something i heard.....

I think for a while. Then if you decide you want to have kids, you have to use some other means of birth control for a certain amount of weeks (which adds up to 2-3 months?) until the birth control is fully out of your system. At least, I think..

[vashti]

if used excessivly, doesnt the pill cause infertility though?

No... There are other side effects, but not infertility, at least not that I ever heard about...

[blue toxin]

See, the thing I always question is those people who have gotten pregnant while using condoms, as to whether or not they used them properly. Two examples here.

One, girl got pregnant using pill and condom. Well, we found out 6 months AFTER the baby was born that she admitted she was using ZERO birth control. In fact her boyfriend was aware she was on the pill still, but she had stopped taking it about 2 weeks before and thought it would still help.

The other, my buddy got his girlfriend pregnant. Evidently the run to the gas station down the street for a condom was less important than having to work 25 hours of overtime each week to pay for his kid. He says he had one, but later joked about it admitting he didn't.

[blue toxin]

I guess I'm just trying to consider my options... Every person I have spoken to who said they have experienced a broken condom said it's more than obvious, and the condom looks like a shrivvled balloon that has been popped.

Well, I figured I'd switch over to those colored (flavored?) condoms, so then that way they don't have the clearish look to them so it'd be even more obvious if we had a problem with them.

[vashti]

The broken condom is the reason you should be using a second form of birth control.

[blue toxin]

The broken condom is the reason you should be using a second form of birth control.

Yes, I understand. But I've also read on MANY occasions that the chances of a condom being broken is literally 1/5000. 99.99% of the time when condoms break, they say it's due to not enough lubrication.

I'm not trying to defend condom only use, because obviously the more protection you have, the better. One thing I am trying to do is establish the difference between condom reliability and user error.

Think of it like this. Just imagine the physics behind the first penetration during intercourse. As the man pushes himself inside with a dry condom, the condom is only going to stick on the outisde of the woman. As he pushes farther inside, it simply stretches, causing microscopic tears on the condom. If pushed farther, eventually they break down and well... break. That's where the broken condom normally comes from.

I just feel that, despite the fact that more protection is better, I just think if people took the time to read up all they can about condoms, they may learn a thing or two.

[vashti]

You know, you do not need to convince me about the benefits of condoms. I am not even in danger of becoming pregnant, and I am still a believer. However, they DO have a failure rate (for whatever reason) and therefore you should double up your protection methods because you ARE in danger of getting someone pregnant.