I Cheated.. Again....

[dirtking_4]

I have done it again and now i dont know what to do. I have had this gf for a little over a year now. everything has been going farley smooth, we have had our fair share of fights but always worked them out. the first time it happend is when we took a small "break" and i ended up sleeping with another girl during this time. I told my gf about everything that had happend and she passed it off like nothing that had happend. yes she was hurt but after i told her the subject never came up again or seemed to have affected her. this was aquard to me because my previous gf would have started a argument that went on for weeks if i even looked at another girl. and i have never cheated on anyother girl before until now.

The thing is, i dont know if i feel the same about her anymore everything between us has been good but we just dont hang out or do much of anything anymore becides what we see of eachother in the bedroom. ofcourse that has been alot of fun this girl is the most beautifal and attrative person that i have even been with and the most sweetest. and she is absolutley head over heels for me now to. but im not sure if i feel the same way and if i even know what love is. she has been great for me and we have been talking about moving in together. so i have never wanted to break up with her, knowing that it woudl break her heart even though im not sure if i want to be in a serious reationship right now sence im only 20 y/o

but anyways last night i was at this girls house having a great time drinking with some people. didnt really think anything of my gf, i ended up dancing with some of the girls thier and one of them started to come on to me. she needed a ride home so i gave her one and you can imagin the rest from their. thanks for any advice you can give me

[blauw]

When I read topic, I assume u cheated ...
Tell her!

[blue]

tell her

and be honest with yourself. I dont feel that you are ready to be in a relationship with her or anyone at the moment. Let her know dont move in with her and make things worse in the end. Tell her what you just told us. Its only fair

[flurint]

Man your in for it big time....guys never learn een thought i m a guy my self.

[mini696]

Tell her what you said here... She deserves the truth, because she is the victim here.

[vashti]

You aren't ready to have a girlfriend because you are obviously wanting to play the field, which is what 20 year old guys SHOULD be doing. Break off with this girl so you don't have to feel guilty for behaving like a 20 year old.

By the way, I DON'T think you need to tell her you cheated unless you are going to have sex with her again. If you are breaking off with her anyway, why add to her pain?

[bluesummer]

Exactly what Vash said.

Break it off with her right away, and keep your cheating to yourself. Just tell her you're not ready for a relationship. Nothing could be worse than hearing I'm leaving you because I want to play the field.......AND because I've also cheated on you twice."

Horrible. Poor girl. Have some decency and let her go so she can find someone who won't do this to her.

[mini696]

Yeah I was under the assumption that you hope to stay with her, but frankly you dont deserve to be with her.

[DigitalFlirting]

Ok, this is a fairly well debated subject. But we will all admit that the key to a good relationship is honesty.

There are more issues in flirting than just "wanting to play the field" as well. There are issues of self confidence as well, and also self respect.

I take it from your post that you are a serial cheater. This can become a problem in many relationships because you get used to it, and it's familliar territory. You don't feel as bad doing it any more, because you've done it before anmd once youve done it...the number of times just turns into a blurry number.

The self confidence factor comes into it when you're with a person and sometimes you want to see what you can get away with without cheating...or to see if you've still got "it". It's a hard thing to diagnose, but once you've cheated, it just becomes a general thing. It's like being a hangman...once you've done the first person, you can do more because you've broken the ice.

You're 20? If you're doing this kind of thing, then you should be honest and tell her. There is no easy way out, or right or wrong time. It has to be said. Preferably at her place so that you can leave afterwards, because you don't want to be stuck driving her home afterwards, or having her drive home with tears in her eyes.

It's gonna hurt her, BAD! But, you did this and you must live with what you have done. When you tell her, look at her and watch how you have hurt her. Imagine it done to you. You will only be able to change once you have had a major shock, and it has scarred you for life. If you don't feel this, you will be in constant cheat mode.

Your loyalty should be the one who stands beside you when times get tough. If it's not, you must really look at the choices you make carefully.

The flings will leave you in the morning, your gf won't.

Think about the things you have done, and your triggers for it. Try and pinpoint your cheat mode activators and ask yourself why you're led into the situation in the first place. Be brutally honest with yourself and analyze your answers.

Write each instance down on paper, and then try to remember the things that led up to it all. You might find some similarities between the occasions. Once you can understand why you do these things, you will be able to stop them. Once you see someone you care about being broken hearted by the things you have done, you'll never want to do them again.

[JAspice]

You need to break up with this girl. Leave her with some dignity and don't tell her. Your more likely to scar her. Do not move in with her. If she already plans to live with you she already sees you as husband material, which you are far from. Your young, so I can't get mad at you for not wanting to be tied down. Just try not to hurt innocent women during the process and make sure you strap up. No need for catching anything.

[cahunniexo]

i agree..tell her exactly what you told us..your only 20 and it seems like you do really just want to have fun and not be tied down. let her know your true feelings. i feel like im being let on by my boyfriend right now and i wish he would just tell me how he really felt!

[dirtking_4]

Thanks for the advice, i guess im just not ready for a relationship right now. and i should of told my self that and her. instead of doing this to her, i should of broke it off the first time we took a break. i just thought i was ready, Im not obviousley i guess i just didnt want to hert her by leaving her but now it has turned into something even worse. i just felt like i had to stay with her but now im not sure thats such a good thing. this is going to be soo hard for me as well sence i love her as much as i do but at the same time im not ready for this. i guess tomarrow i better break the news.

[vashti]

You sound like a decent guy, despite yourself. Just take it easy. Not everyone needs to be in a monogomous relationship at your age. In fact, I think too many people try to force it on themselves too early.

Good luck.

[icecreamISgood]

uh , you should tell her...it's selfish & you can pass stds