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Thread: Love : Given in one hand , taken from another .....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Love : Given in one hand , taken from another .....

    Let me first introduce myself.

    I am a 23 year old guy from India. I am going for my further studies to another country in a month or so. Course duration is 2 years and I will be able to come back to India only once during this period.
    I had a crush on a girl of sme age in my project for long time. I even epxressed my feelings indirectly by gifting her necklace and ear rings. But she seemed uninterested. Then when I was leaving the company for my studies , she came upto me and gifted me a small replica of a house. But even then she did not say anything , but I got the hint.

    One week later on this weekend I went to her city solely having a last look at her and expressing my love. We met in Pizza hut and talked at length. On our way back to her home I deliberately held her hand in mine. And on reaching her house I said the magic words. "I love you". Her first reaction was , this stage is too late. But still she asked me for some time. Later that night I called her up and we talked for 4 hours. She said she is willing though there are some major hurdles in our way :

    1. She comes from a very very conservative community , different than mine. They strictly forbid any out-of-community wedlocks. Also there are almost no love marriages. All are decided by one patron like figure.
    2. We havent yet told this to our parents. Her paretns will start looking for her groom come Dec 06 - Jan 07. And at that time she will need to tell them about me. But as I am returning after 2 years she will need to have some commitment from me to have any chance. We thought of engagement first but later found time is too short to convince parents.
    3. Though she is deeply in love with me ,she isnt willing to disobey parents in this matter. Meaning if they say no then it is shutdown once and for all.

    I told this to my sister and she to her elder brother. I had a talk with his brother. Who was very very rude and gruff in his coversation with me. Asking me details of my distant relatives and stuff. He asked me to meet him in person come next weekend. I have decided I will meet him with my sister and her husband. But still I need to have some advice in this regard :
    1. Most crucially , is it possible to retain the heat in relationship afer the long gap? I wont be able to meet her for some 350 straight days.
    2. We thought she will somehow prolong her parents' search for groom. We will get then engaged once I complete my first year and come back to India. And then after an year once I have finished my studies we will get married. Amen. Does this seem probable ?

    Please please help me out guys.

  2. #2
    Junket's Avatar
    Junket is offline -
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    Wow.

    There's a bit of a cultural gap that'll make it more difficult for me to give the appropriate advice.

    Of course your plan is possible, but is it probable?

    350 days is a long time, for both people. And if her brother is anything like her parents you might have a tough time persuading them not to marry her to somebody else. Why don't you wait until you meet with this girl's older brother before you decide what you're willing to do?

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