jealousy...

[sunflower033]

EVERY time i see a girl talking to the guy i like, i get all paranoid and start thinking "oh no competition what if shes's hotter than me he'll like her more than me and he won't ever like me and if he's even talking to her he must like her!!!" i know that he could talk to a girl without having a crush on her, just like i can talk to a guy without having a crush on him. however, i simply CANNOT grasp this concept. i get extremely jealous and paranoid even if i see a girl WALK PAST the guy i like. what is WRONG with me and how can i get over this??? i cant grasp that concept...!!!

[Ellynn]

Its normal what you are feeling. Its called a crush.

You feel insecure your gonna lose a chance with him. But, the only way your gonna get noticed is to do something about it! Start talking to this guy. Let yourself be known to him and see if he's interested. If he is, he will make a move. If he doesn't he may also be shy or it could be that he's just not interested. But, you never know until you get out there in the game and show him who you really are.

If you don't at least try, you have no one but yourself to blame. He is single and he has a right to talk or flirt with any girl he wants to.

[Junket]

Seriously don't talk to us about how much you like him.

Talk to him about it.

[sunflower033]

frasbee, the point of this whole site is to ask others for advice so that they can help you. if i could fix my own problems by talking to the guy i like, i would. but i dont see how that would work, and i'd probably die of a heart attack too.

[Ellynn]

frasbee, the point of this whole site is to ask others for advice so that they can help you. if i could fix my own problems by talking to the guy i like, i would. but i dont see how that would work, and i'd probably die of a heart attack too.

Chances are, if you can't talk to him, then nothings gonna happen. I'll tell you why. In a relationship, you need to be able to talk. IN dating you need to talk. In order for a person to EVEN be interested in you, you need to talk to them so they can get to know you.

Right now this is just a crush. I know how those are. The guy is so good looking, so perfect( or so it seems), that we tend to put them on a pedestal in our minds. Trust me girl, I've been there. It sucks, because we like them so much, but we just can't get close because we fear that we will look stupid etc. So we just admire them from afar, hoping that one day things will change.

You know what I learned, THAT will never happen. Things won't change unless you DO something. How can he even reciprocate any feelings when he doesn't even get the chance to get to know you? So at least give him that chance. Otherwise your just gonna continue to watch him on the sidelines and before you know it, he will be dating some other girl. (This happens, trust me, I've been thru it, and it sucks.)
Since I have some experience with this in my far past, I'm just gonna give you some advice.

Hes not perfect. Hes just like you and me. He makes mistakes. He burps. He farts. He probably has even more disgusting habits that you probably don't even know about. He also has insecurities. Maybe hes just as shy with girls he likes. I mean who knows? Point is is that hes human. If you at least try to stop fearing talking to him so much, and actually get to know him you will find this out.

First try talking to him as a friend. I mean nothing wrong with saying hi and smiling right? It will definately get his attention. Then keep on doing this and eventually work up a conversation. If hes interested he will wanna talk. If hes not then he won't.

IF your nervous or anyting while talking to him its ok. I mean if anything he probably will be flattered. More then likely he won't be a jerk about it. And if he is, then hes not worth your time. So, please consider at least trying to talk to him!

If not, then I'm sorry but your just gonna have to sit back and learn to tolerate him talking to other girls.

[vashti]

I think jealousy is very typical in young people who are insecure because they have not yet accomplished much, and don't understand their value in the world. As you grow and mature, you will probably not allow your insecurity to rule you, you will develop some confidence, and your jealousy should diminish.

In the meantime, you should work towards doing things that scare you, like talking to guys. It gets easier with practice.

[Junket]

frasbee, the point of this whole site is to ask others for advice so that they can help you. if i could fix my own problems by talking to the guy i like, i would. but i dont see how that would work, and i'd probably die of a heart attack too.

Don't tell me what this site is for, wank.

I gave you some frikkin' advice.

Take it or leave it.

"Don't see how that would work"

Then how the **** do you aim to get this guy?

Wait, do you intend on askin' this guy out or are you just gonna stare at him from the corner of the room?

[sunflower033]

No, i mean i won't get help on figuring out how to ask him out, by talking to him. I'm not going to go up to him and ask "should i ask you out?" And i may or may not ask him out, that is yet to be decided. But the reason i'm asking for advice on here is TO figure out whether i SHOULD ask him out. Which is why i don't know yet.

[Ellynn]

I think you SHOULD ask him out! I mean what have you got to lose? Right now you have no one and if he says no you'll be in the same situation and at least know.. If you he says yes, then at least you got something good out of it.

[vashti]

I'm not going to go up to him and ask "should i ask you out?" .

Actually, that would probably work.

[Junket]

Actually, that would probably work.

I was about to say the same thing.

And if it doesn't.

Well then at least you would know not to waste your time any longer.

[Ellynn]

Actually, that would probably work.

True it probably would. But just instead of asking him if you should ask him out, Say: "Wanna go out sometime?" Then look him in the eye and flash him one of your sexiest smiles.

[Junket]

True it probably would. But just instead of asking him if you should ask him out, Say: "Wanna go out sometime?" Then look him in the eye and flash him one of your sexiest smiles.

Ellynn!

She couldn't do that, she's probably faint and die!

[sunflower033]

I think its possible for him to like someone without talking to them and getting to know them. I mean, ive never talked to him and i still like him. Cuz i know stuff about him. So it might be possible for him to like me (not likely but slightly possible) without talking to me. (but the only reason he could "possibly" like me is cuz anything's "possible") But at least i know he's not a jerk. My older sister is friends with him. She knows these things. (At least i have no worries about her stealing him because she wouldnt do that, shes too old for him, shes taken, and he doesnt like her like that. ha.)

[Illusional]

phycho.... and i don't mean the movie. you have to seriously think about it. if you trip out this much now, when you only have a crush on him, how will you act when you are bf/gf if it gets to that stage? or speaking, with the next relationship and later down the road. tsk tsk tsk.

you wanna get over this?? realize that the world doesn't revolve around you, and you are not the only person allowed to have a crush on someone. he might or might not like you, but if you keep this side to you, he will definatly be turned off, and your phychotic nature will be reknown around your school. first step is to identify the problem, the next is dealing with it.

raverboy