First time sex and it was bad

[theman]

Well..I'm a guy. I meet this girl and I took her for a coffe and then we walk around and I told her if she wanted to do it. I mean I'm 20 and a virgin...I had to go for it. She said yes so we went home. I'm an attractive guy btw, I don't know why it took so long. Anyways, we both took off our clothes and then I put on a condom and we started going at it. I put it in her in mssionary style, I don't know if it was me, but I didn't really feel anthing when my penis was inside her. Then I told her if she wanted to do oral and she took the condom off and she started to to give oral. She was using her teeth, I told her not to, but somehow she put too much preasure with her mouth and it hurt.

So my first experience was bad...How can I improve this.

[Araltd]

The condom probably kept you from feeling alot. The oral sounds like it was too rough. Tell her to be more gentle next time. I personally like oral a bit rough - no biting, maybe nibbling is ok

Was she a virgin? and this may sound crass, but here goes.

If your penis is thin, and she has had lots of sex (read: big hole) + add to that you wore a condom, well thats why you didn't feel much.

[TAVS]

The hole Lots of Sex = Loose vagina thing is a myth for the most part. Exceptions to the rule of course

[vashti]

First time sex is almost always bad for women. Why should it be any different for men?

[King Zarathu]

First time sex is almost always bad for women. Why should it be any different for men?

We aren't talking about morals and female insecurities; we're talking about this man's first sexual experience. Grade: F

===

There's nothing you can do about changing the past, but what you can do is learn from your experiences and change the future. So, here's what I suggest:

If you're going to ****, make sure the bitch knows what she's doing (to avoid getting scratched by teeth).

Secondly, I suggest not just ****ing random women, I suggest doing something meaningful.

[Junket]

Secondly, I suggest not just ****ing random women, I suggest doing something meaningful.

Seriously.

Personally I'm not down with the idea of having sex without first getting intimate with the person.

Capiche?

[daletom]

Wow - there's a LOT that could be said in response to this post. But in the end - there really isn't much to say.

Did I understand the situation correctly: "theman" met this chick - and they were just getting to the point where they could address each other without looking at a nametag. So he asks, "Wanna screw?" and she says, "Why not?". Ten minutes later he's masturbating in her vagina and it doesn't feel like it's supposed to. So he asks for a blowjob and that's no better.

And he wants to know what the problem is.

Let's start with a little get-acquainted time. Like at least a week. A couple months might be better. Even "The Joy of Sex", the definitive work on recreational sex for over 30 years, says "VIRGINITY: Have a bit of respect for this. . . . If you find yourself getting into bed . . . with a virgin on only a few hours or minutes acquaintance, you're going too fast for both of you." (Pg 92.) Physiologically you can have sex with a knot-hole in the fence. Especially for your early experiences, unless there's a mental and emotional connection (do I dare add, "spiritual connection" ?) don't expect your partner to feel like much more than "something with a hole in the middle".

Then there's practice time. Heck, even Albert Pujols (for non-US readers: an American baseball player famous for hitting home runs) goes to batting practice, and takes a few practice swings before every at-bat as well. How much time did you spend with this girl learning how each others' bodies work? What terms do you use: necking - petting - bundling - making out - fooling around - outercourse? Most of it comes under the heading of "foreplay". The intercourse would be a LOT better if you had brought EACH OTHER to orgasm several times, over a few days or more, using these non-coital methods before attempting penis-in-vagina sex.

How about your partner? Good sex is something you do WITH somebody. It's not something you do TO someone, nor is it something they do TO you! Your whole post is shot through with "I" and "me". Aside from giving orders and expecting her to satisfy you did you interact with her at all? If you were trying, however ineptly, to stimulate and satisfy her, she would probably enjoy spending hours with you just to make your first time special.

Finally I have to wonder about this particular girl. Did she know it was your first time? Regardless of how much experience she's had, you really should have told her. For starters, most girls would get at least a little turned on knowing they were getting your cherry. (The rest would be a poor choice for your first time and would give you a rain-check.) What kind of girl would jump into bed with somebody that casually? Is this coffee shop actually a swingers' hook-up spot? Or does this girl routinely use sex to manipulate guys and get things from them? Or maybe she's trying to join one of those sororities that show up in urban legends (and wet dreams) where the girls have to seduce 3 strangers in 24 hours to earn their membership?

Final advice: There's a LOT of information already published on the web and in your public library to help you. (You're probably not ready for "Joy of Sex" yet, but there are other books.) Seed your search engine with "first time sex" and I'll bet you get at least 100,000 hits AFTER you eliminate all the porn sites. Study a few of them.

If you're going to see this same girl again, BOTH of you need to study them. It doesn't sound like she's developed much skill yet, either. If not you should let your next partner know that you're not really experienced. Tell her you got picked up and tried to do it, but it didn't work. If she's at all comfortable with her own sexuality she'll probably jump at the chance to teach you how to do it "right".

Good luck!

[King Zarathu]

Personally I'm not down with the idea of having sex without first getting intimate with the person.

*GASP!*

No...you mean actually going from 1st to 2nd to 3rd to 4th base--like you're supposed to?!

?!?!

wtf lololol

[Junket]

This guy definitely wasn't interested in sex as he was gettin' himself off.

So desperate, so sad.

He'd had been better off whackin' it.

[WorldOfMyOwn]

The condom probably kept you from feeling alot. The oral sounds like it was too rough. Tell her to be more gentle next time. I personally like oral a bit rough - no biting, maybe nibbling is ok

Was she a virgin? and this may sound crass, but here goes.

If your penis is thin, and she has had lots of sex (read: big hole) + add to that you wore a condom, well thats why you didn't feel much.

My girl friend left evidence of what she did. Teeth marks. So I have a permanent part of her mouth stamped down there hehe. Just a little bit rough for me to!

[King Zarathu]

My girl friend left evidence of what she did. Teeth marks. So I have a permanent part of her mouth stamped down there hehe. Just a little bit rough for me to!

Typically, when you bite a part of your body the marks go away. The only way it would have been permanent is if she bit so hard that it bled, which would have had to be on purpose.

Translation: I call bullshit.

[Gigabitch]

I thought men considered any sex to be better than no sex. It must have been reeeeally bad, then.

I think you should just give up. You aren't meant to have sex. Don't do it again.

[theman]

The sex wasn't that bad, well, we didn't even get to finish it. I just thought it would have been a lot better. I agree with the person that said that someone needs to be intimate with the person first, as I for once wasn't very confortable and I was a bit nervous too, but I still wanted to do it. The communication was ok between us, but I think she was enberrased a bit when I told her how to give me a blowjob. It felt good at the beggining, but then she started turning her head and her teeth came in, I felt them. I felt like once of those coca-cola bottles when you twist the top and you hear the grinding noise, I can just imagine how that feels.

I think we both needed more experience, she wasn't a virgin, but she wasn't too experience either. I hope the next would be better, it won't be with her though.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, time for some nosiness. You must have some idea why you didn't have sex until you were 20. Clearly, it wasn't your high-falutin' morals.

What's the deal?

[lilwing89]

you didnt feel much because you were going at the wrong angle. one of these days you will find the perfect angle that will make you cum in even 2 minutes!

she isnt purposely using her teeth, she might be inexperienced with that. so dont expect the most perfectest mouth watering feeling for a while. with each passing time she does it, she will get better and better, let her know what feels good.