i need of some advice

[zerokool189]

about a month ago i met my friends roommate in a spinning class... when i saw her i felt incredible, i have never felt this way about someone before. I've known my friend for about 2 years and we get along great. after about two weeks of going to spinning class i became more attracted to her roommate as i got to know her better. just this past week we went on a camping trip to visit a friend of ours. at first nothing was really going on between the two of us, i was nervous so i didnt talk much. the drive was about 9 hours and we just talked about music and shared stories with eachother.

I kinda had a feeling that she liked me but i wasnt sure. she opened up more on the trip and we had some good laughs and found out a lot about eachother, we had relationship talks and talks about life... basically it was going great. we had a lot of fun on the camping portion of the trip. when we got back to my friends house they decided we should go out and celebrate because it would be our last night visiting our friend. we had too much fun that night, we were all drunk and decided to watch super troopers. well she didnt stay up for it so i went to check on her. turns out she was in bed so i asked if she was ok and she said yeah but shes tired. I said i too was tired and she invited me to lay down next to her.

i layed down next to her and we spoke for a little bit, then she asked me if there has been or if there is any girl in my life since my ex girlfriend, i told her that i really liked her. turns out she liked me too, she told me that i remind her of her ex (i thought that was weird but she said thats the type of person she is attracted to) and she kept saying other things then ending is with yes i do like you.. she also told me that she wants to be cautious because she doesnt want to get hurt again and she is also training hard for upcomming triathlons and she doesnt want to lose focus. i told her i understand but if there was anything i could do what should i do.. she told me we just need to hang out more. shortly after that we fell asleep. we didnt talk about it and drove home the next day. just last night i went out to dinner with my friend who i had known for 2 years and is also the best friend of the girl i like.

well i started talking to my friend about it and she was like she really didnt tell me much but she told me that you initiated it, i paused for a second and said she asked me if there was a girl in my life. and my friend told me she didnt really say much else. would my friend be covering up for her best friend and not tell me what she said? she also seemed surprised to hear my version of the story. i also saw the girl i liked in the gym this morning and we spoke for a bit, then she left without coming up to me i think she was in a hurry because she had to go home then go back to school and go to class but i was kinda bummed she didnt say bye.

i told my friend last night that i have never felt about a girl like this before and how i talk about her soo much and my friend was like awww i wish someone felt like that about me... now heres my problem... im way too much of a pussy to do anything, i usually wait for the girl to make the first move but i dont think that she is the type of person to do that. is there anyone who can give me some advice on what to do or say to this girl, ive known her for a month now and we got closer on this trip and my heart still flutters when i look in her eyes.

[Gigabitch]

Do you need a neon sign? She's not sure she's into dating, yet she's willing to be convinced.

Convince her! You have to take it slow, obviously, because she's really busy, and if you take up too much of her time, she'll decide she can't do this with you right now, and you'll end up in the dreaded Friend Zone.

You talked about music on the trip. What does she like? There are a pile of great new CD's out right now- buy one, copy it, and give it to her. Say, "I thought you'd like this. I just bought it and listening to it reminded me of you." Then she'll know you were thinking of her, and she'll have something to remind her of you.

(disclaimer: Copyright infringement is illegal, and moreover, evil, but I do it all the time.)

[zerokool189]

thanks for the advice, i like the idea of the cd. so happens that i work in a bike shop and she wanted some bike shoes so i used my discount to get them for her and she was really excited so we are going on a ride tomorrow. should i ask her if she remembers that drunk talk that we had about feelings towards eachother?? i wouldnt really know how to bring it up either.

[just maibe]

Take her to a movie. It gives you a chance to get semi close without getting too close. Put your arm around her or something. Just make sure you take it slow. It really sounds like she's into you. The cd idea is good too. Just do little random things to keep her around and show her you're thinking about her. (us girls like that)

Nice disclaimer giga

[zerokool189]

well so far she likes everything im doing, i gave her the cd. should i bring up that conversation we had that one night about our feelings or should i let that go and just see what happens?

[thinker]

Hehe... why do we all get so antsy about these things? I know I would be a mess if I was in this sort of situation

Calm down! Sounds like you are trying to plan the perfect approach and make no mistakes and sweep her right off her feet after a month... unfortunately life aint like that We just have to be ourselves, natural, and go with the flow. If you want to talk about that night, then do it! If you don't want to talk about that night, then don't do it! Sorry to state the obvious, but it really sounds like she is definitely into you; as she said she does not want to be hurt, and most likely is waiting for a guy who is so into her that HE makes the moves... I know I am like that (with girls of course... if a guy made a move on me... eeee) So, I say you're golden. Like giggly said, be careful not to be too high-maintenence, especially from the start. She sounds like she needs someone to be there for her, and maybe you might need to follow HER schedule for the time being; sounds like you are fine with that But yeah, you are definitely on the right track! Just breathe and be yourself. Let us know how things turn out

[enterprise]

i agree i say make a move, she sounds like she likes you also, and like he said someone has to make a move and if no-one does then nothing happends.

*(note: Easier said that done applys here)*

[zerokool189]

ok i finally convinced myself that i should talk to her face to face about how i feel, but this time itll be sober. how should i put it? if it were up to me right now i would start out with something like i never do this type of thing but i have learned from that past that i shouldnt let moments like this go by.. then tell her whats on my mind? one night of the trip we had to describe our dream person, she is my dream person... should i tell her that? would it be too soon??? also today i asked her to go on a road ride with me and she said yeah, i just dunno when ill be free. my sister says that she blew me off, or that she is nervous?? what the hell.. but i really do need advice on what to say, my other friend told me just say i like you and want to take you out... i told him i want to go out with her not freak her out, he says just be unemotional about it.. no im not doing that.. i need help on what to tell her? and how to get to see her so i can tell her. should i just say hey lets have lunch i wanna talk to you about something? i think this is really funny, im 22 been with girls before, but with this girl i have no clue on what to say or do... any advice would be greatly appreciated...another thing i forgot to mention was that she doesnt keep eye contact with me for more than like 5 sec, everyone else she talks to she stares them right in the eye while talking. what does that mean???

[zerokool189]

forget any of this ever happened.... i met the drunk version of this girl tonight... all i have to say is wow, how can someone be soo cool and so perfect but become sooo slutty and pretty much everything i dislike in a person?? i dont know what i want to do anymore... im just going to stop looking for that perfect girl... </3

[Gigabitch]

Oh my God! What happened?

[zerokool189]

School was canceled due to this tropical storm ernesto.. so what else to do but throw hurricane parties... lol. Her roommate called me and told me to come over, so i did. this girl walks in almost wearing nothing, that kinda turned me off because she had random guys like drolling over her.. i also forgot to mention that she paid no attention to me at all.. she loved being the center of attention and did whatever she could to stay there... i.e. exposing more than she should have... that completely turned me off. shortly after i met the drunk version of this girl i decided to leave... i come home to find my neighbors also are having a party and i stayed up talking to one of my new neighbors, she was really cool.. also my old roommate is coming to visit and wants to take me out and hook me up with random people.. im not really into going out, and i definitely dont hook up with random people.. lately ive kinda felt that i cant find a good girl, so maybe i should just become a whore and hook up with strangers??? i have become more flirtatious but i dont know if i would be able to take it beyond that, ive only been with people that i really care about... should i just say screw it and have fun while i can?? or should i stay and be a nice guy and hope to find a nice girl one day??

[thinker]

Yeah... this is why I could never date a girl who drinks to any degree of heaviness... it's the most disgusting thing I can think of next to smoking...


...of course not to insult anyone who drinks or smokes, just saying I find those qualities to be the epitemy of unattractiveness in a woman.

Oh, and don't be a whore. Patience will pay off

[Gigabitch]

also my old roommate is coming to visit and wants to take me out and hook me up with random people.. im not really into going out, and i definitely dont hook up with random people.. lately ive kinda felt that i cant find a good girl, so maybe i should just become a whore and hook up with strangers??? i have become more flirtatious but i dont know if i would be able to take it beyond that, ive only been with people that i really care about... should i just say screw it and have fun while i can?? or should i stay and be a nice guy and hope to find a nice girl one day??

I think this would do damage to your sweet self. Why would you hurt yourself on purpose?