BIG problem!

[daiza]

well....as u already know, i had that boyfriend Serban (28 years old)..i argued with him, then broke up...he was calling me, mails, messeges...no answer from me, cause i wanted to punish him for his mistakes, and in the same time, to cure myself of this problematical relation-ship....

everything went ok until today!

for the summer time, i stay at my house in the mountains, cause it is very hot in the city, and here it is cold and fresh air, and this town it is about 200 km from the capital, where i live, and Serban also. But Serban also have a house, at about 60 km from my town...and, just in the moment we broke up, he decided to spend some weeks at his house from the mountain resort.

he gave me a message, that he is at his house and that we should met, have some fun, make some trips together. as i said, no answer from me, be cause i was terrible upset about him.

today, i went to buy some tigaretts, and i decided not to take my car, just make a walk..near the store i see a grey car, which seemed to be familliar...ups...it was HIS car and my "darling Serban" doing i don't know what there....

in the first moment, i though i will have a heart atac, he was incrediblly sexi staying there, smilling....

i didn't know how to react, so i stood still saying...nothing.
he came to me, and he told me that he came to see me, and talk to me.
i told him we have nothing to talk and he said that i react childish and crazy not answering his phones.

then he said, come, i 'll take you by car, back home. well, i enter his car, and he did not took the way for my house, but for his house!i said to stop the car, he didn't want...he said just like that:" i came to see you, i missed you and i want to make love with you!".....
i told him, "serban my parents are waiting for me home, so if i stay to much out, they'll be very scared"...he said, "no way..we go, and make love, and speak, and eat, and spend some time togheter", cause he is my boyfriend and that i sould call my mom and tell her, that i am going with him, and then come back home in the evening.

well, i was very excited to spend some time with him, but then i remebered that he was an asshole with me and that i took a decision about him, so i refused!

he stoped the car, near a forest, we beguin to argue, he beguin to howl, i beguin to howl, he acused me i am driving him crazy, i told him he is already crazy bla bla...crying both of us, near that forest like 2 stupid animals.

then he had a great ideea, and said: i want to make love with you here and now! it means near the forest! i said he is crazy and i went back home, alone, on the road, telling him i hate him etc... he let me go alone, about 10 minutes, i was scared, be cause i was alone on that road in the forest, with cars getting buy, and peolple looking at me as if i were a hore, or something...

he went back, and cryed from the car: "get in, stupid crazy woman, or you want to be raped by someone"

i didn't wanted, he stoped the car, forced me to get in....then again argue...then my phone beguind to call, it was my mom...he just did a crazy gesture, took my phone and throw it away from the car!!! i was shoked and very upsed....he stoped the car, and went searching for my phone in the grass...then i had an ideea, while he was searching for my phone, i took his car, and went away home! i told my dad, to go and take him from the forest) Serban was delirating of fury....he told me he loved me very much, and that he is sooooo disappointed about my reaction of refusing him and getting out with his car....bla bla....

no he stoped calling me, and i am so bored now...and i think that maybe i was exagerating a little bit, but i was very upset about him beeing agresiv and all stuff...

what should i do?

[daiza]

oh, and by the way...we argued, but also kissed, then argued again...it was a delirating conversation, with kisses and declaration, then curses and bad comments...bla bla...

i wanted to go with him and spend some time and also make some love, BUT, i was upset on him and decided to broke up, so i thought i should refuse him for ever.
now the problem is, that i did something very wrong, which i don't know if i regret , cause i didn't like the way he forced me, even it was funny in a way, but i keep thinking about him and at our nice moments that we spent together, even at that stupid argue in the forest...

why am i thinking at him now?? i am very upset with me now....need some compasion..(

[vashti]

Sorry, I can't share any compassion. If you didn't want to go out with him, you never should have gotten in his car. The rest was just more childish nonsense.

I would avoid "punishing" behavior. It is dumb to play games.

[daiza]

i did not think that he wold react so agressive, i went in his car so many times, i didn't have any ideea....i thought, that on a way back to my home, we shall talk and see how we can manage things, i hoped that he could change, but deep in my soal i know it is impossible, that is why, even i loved him, i broked up with him....

i dont know... a part of me miss him, a part of me tells me he is not the on for me...

[Gigabitch]

Daiza, he's a psycho. Next time he could tie you up in his basement for three weeks because he thinks you belong to him.

Quit playing with fire.

[daiza]

Daiza, he's a psycho. Next time he could tie you up in his basement for three weeks because he thinks you belong to him.

Quit playing with fire.

yup...i am very sad about that...cause i loved him, and he was a nice guy...until he got refused...then he draw crazy. in fact, he is so spoiled that he want everyone does as his way...not really a psycho, but allmost, instead very, very rude and spoiled. at the begging of the relation, he was so sweet and pasional...

after he took back his car, and went away to his home, he called me back and told me that he could never forgive what have i done to him, that he loved me, and came after me in a romantical way (by the way he said he wanted me t marry him) and i let him there at 10 km from my house...and i replied: so what? if u are crazy, what do u want me to do? then he replied: oh, we had an 8 months relation ship, and u have always trusted me, and now you suddenly do not trust me anymore." ....

[Gigabitch]

then he replied: oh, we had an 8 months relation ship, and u have always trusted me, and now you suddenly do not trust me anymore." ....

Oh, please. As if you just suddenly changed your mind. He's so dramatic! He would be an absolute nightmare of a husband.

I'm not casting stones, here- I've had my share of dramatic relationships, and they can be really exciting, but to me, he sounds like a giant pain in the ass.

[derm]

Daiza

Sorry to hear about your break up but geees this Serban guy sounds very childish for a 28 yr old.

Also the way he reacted, like trying to kidnap you, trowing away your phone, also suggesting ye make love while in the middle of an argument. Very wierd! Makes him sound like a psycho.

I struggle sometimes to understand the cultures in eastern Europe and know people there are more emotional, more highly strung, with a shorter fuse and voilent tempers. But surely this scared even you?

I know.... I'm sorry I know this is your boyfriend I'm talking about, someone you obviously really like and are in love with. He is also very much in love with you and perhaps you ignoring him by not answering his calls annoyed him even further. However his behaviour was worrying to say the least. Imagine him after a few drinks (alcohol)......no thanks!

I think in future it may be best to answer his calls and argue over the phone, at least this way nobody gets hurt, or gets left on the roadside. You can always hang up on him if he annoys you.

Daiza you really need to ask yourself if this guy is worth it. Are ye really suited to each other? Have ye really got lots in common? Do ye share the same interests and think the same? If not it may be best forget about him. Some people fall in love with the wrong people. BUT love is not enough to hold a relationship togethor in the long run, if everything else isn't right.

Think about it.

Good luck!

[daiza]

derm, tks a lot. you really helped me!

i was very depressed this morning, when i woke up, had some bad dreams last night..

i loved this man, but we are really not suited to each other. and yes, est europeans are more emotional, but his reactions was far from romantic or emotional...he acted like a pshyco...

i am furiouse that i spend 8 month with this guy, and that i loved him.

he doesn't call anymore, cause he is too pround and he felt ofenced by my reaction and my refuse. tks god!!

kisses.

[misombra]

that was really wrong for him to do that. stay away from him he sounds like a weirdo.

[daiza]

that was really wrong for him to do that. stay away from him he sounds like a weirdo.

all of my friends told me this...

my best friend Alis, told me today," oh Daiza, he is going to call back, or maybe he is going to make another trip at your house, give him 3-4 weeks to forget the offence"...

what do u think?

[derm]

derm, tks a lot. you really helped me!

i was very depressed this morning, when i woke up, had some bad dreams last night..

i loved this man, but we are really not suited to each other. and yes, est europeans are more emotional, but his reactions was far from romantic or emotional...he acted like a pshyco...

i am furiouse that i spend 8 month with this guy, and that i loved him.

he doesn't call anymore, cause he is too pround and he felt ofenced by my reaction and my refuse. tks god!!

kisses.

Hey thats what we're here for!............You've put alot in here, time now to get something back.

You've gotta make your mind up about this guy. Only you can do this by yourself. You can listen to your friends opinions and to the posts here, but only you yourself know him best.

If you decide to take him back, a lot needs to change!...a lot!!

If not you need to move on and forget him. You need to be around your friends at a time like this especially those who may also be single and have experience the same. Time for some male bashing!

Whatever you decide, you must stick to it! Dont change your mind later! it can be quiet hard recovering from a break up with a loved one and not at all easy.


Good luck!


P.S. Did someone change the smilies?

[derm]

all of my friends told me this...

my best friend Alis, told me today," oh Daiza, he is going to call back, or maybe he is going to make another trip at your house, give him 3-4 weeks to forget the offence"...

what do u think?

Alis may be right, but I think he will call you first. Dont worry
If he calls, answer the call and wherever you are tell him you are somewhere else...like 500km away!

Tell him how you feel and don't lead him on...be stern and don't get into a conversation about 'how things used to be'

If its over, tell him it's over and thats it!

[Gigabitch]

all of my friends told me this...

my best friend Alis, told me today," oh Daiza, he is going to call back, or maybe he is going to make another trip at your house, give him 3-4 weeks to forget the offence"...

what do u think?

Get a crucifix and some holy water. If he comes to your house, throw the holy water on him while brandishing the crucifix, yelling, "The power of Christ comepls you!"

That should do it.

[Kiechi]

Or you could say:

"The power of Christ compels you!"