Whats she trying to do??

[xcepshun]

I"ll summarize to make it easy to understand..

Her personality= Stubborn, not many friends, egoistic (i love her though i duno why)

moving on..

we met in university, we hung out got really close, never actually dated.. we got so close to the point where she even said i was her soulmate and she broke up with her bf of 3 years while we were hanging out during this time. We never oficially got together, but , eventually she told me i was gettin a little to serious (w/e that means) and she ditched me for some other guy, now after 4 months of not talkin she adds me to msn and starts talkin to me like nothing happnd and the 2nd thing that comes out of her mouth is, "did you see jake (the guy) when u guys went to the concert b/c i left my glasses with him", and supposily same day she told my best friend that her and jake are no longer together..

i have not spoken to her since then, this was 3 days ago..

WAT THE HELL IS SHE TRYING TO DO?

[Venacava]

Can you say...PLAAAYER?

Either that or she's messed up.

[TDurden]

sounds like she's ****in bonkers. but if thats not the case then she's probably just confused or is the kind of person who completely changes on a whim. either way, its unlikely you're going to end up with her in a romantic way.

[thinker]

My friend, you are treating the female brain like it is a males, which will always get you in trouble...

"Oh, but she said we were soulmates! We are going to get married and I love her!" Bullshit. Sorry man, I'm calling this like I see it... not that she was completely playing you, she just has no idea what she's saying. How old are you/her? She is doing what every women about your guys' age does; play the field, whether she makes a big hootnany of it or not. She is going through a time in her life where she is confused about what she wants (she will never fully get over this) and you are getting caught in the middle of whatever. If she was really so passionately in love with you (her "soulmate" that she dumped her long time bf for but not really becuase you have NEVER dated...) then WHY IS SHE WITH OTHER GUYS? She does not want you, sorry to say... at least not enough to do a damn thing about it. Ooh... wait... maybe she just wants her freakin glasses back? You need to play it as all or nothing at all... otherwise you will get hurt by the friendly fire in the middle. I say stay away from her... you deserve to be with someone you are actually with if that makes any sense...

[vashti]

I don't think she knows what she wants. Best to keep your distance, at least emotionally.

[xcepshun]

Ok in all fairness

she told me

"i like you a lot but i don't want to get into another serious relationship and i want to go explore and have fun" (she told me this straight up), however, the reason i got very upset was she was very in my face about it, like she advertised her adventures in her msn name, she did stuff with this guy rite in front of my face...

also.. were both 21....

and i'm not into her as much as i use to be before, i just really confused, and i'm not as naive as i was before, i'm definately not going to try to initiate anything with her or expect anything to happen, i'm just playing it cool and acting like it doesn't matter, which in a sense it really doesnt'

[thinker]

Yeah... she is definitely (with an "i") no good... not that she's evil or a whore (though I wouldn't argue with that) but trust us stay away. Sure, she says she likes you... I am confident she has told maybe 15-20 other guys the same line; maybe she thinks you are cute enough to mess around with one night when she's drunk and she is keeping as many options open as possible? Anywho... really just move on. There are plenty of nice girls who will not be going between a handful of different guys in front of your face at the same time. You will be much much better off away from her...

Why do people do this? (sidebar here...) I mean, honestly are that many people that shallow that they just want to make out and shag all the time without any investment? Where are all the nice girls who only want one guy? Huh?

[xcepshun]

Yeah... she is definitely (with an "i") no good... not that she's evil or a whore (though I wouldn't argue with that) but trust us stay away. Sure, she says she likes you... I am confident she has told maybe 15-20 other guys the same line; maybe she thinks you are cute enough to mess around with one night when she's drunk and she is keeping as many options open as possible? Anywho... really just move on. There are plenty of nice girls who will not be going between a handful of different guys in front of your face at the same time. You will be much much better off away from her...

Why do people do this? (sidebar here...) I mean, honestly are that many people that shallow that they just want to make out and shag all the time without any investment? Where are all the nice girls who only want one guy? Huh?

Heres the ironic thing though, shes only had ONE bf, i know for a fact she only slept with him and no other guy. Shes not a slut at all, if anything shes just an attention whore.. but i think the main question is being ignored here..

WHY IS SHE TALKING TO ME AGAIN ?? (after 4 months, and after she said i was "psychotic" and its best if we don't talk or see eachother anymore), all of a sudden she wants to talk to me and "bring old skeletons out of the closet" according to her.

[thinker]

Becuase she is confused and confusing... she is a good woman

You don't know what's going on becuase she doesn't either. She may **think** she likes you (bare with me here) but this will change when she turns that page in her drama life Let me ask YOU a question... if she was really into you and worth your time, why would she be playing these games with you? She is still talking to you after however long becuase maybe she is bored... she sounds like an attention whore as you say, and maybe she needs someone (aka you) to occupy her time with or maybe a little underling to chew on before she goes for her next big kill... ok Im being a bit presumptuous here But really, maybe she just is bored and wants to say hi... just don't forget all the shit she has put you through... and YOU should occupy yourself with pining over a girl that may actually reciprocate! I still say she's no good...

[xcepshun]

Becuase she is confused and confusing... she is a good woman

You don't know what's going on becuase she doesn't either. She may **think** she likes you (bare with me here) but this will change when she turns that page in her drama life Let me ask YOU a question... if she was really into you and worth your time, why would she be playing these games with you? She is still talking to you after however long becuase maybe she is bored... she sounds like an attention whore as you say, and maybe she needs someone (aka you) to occupy her time with or maybe a little underling to chew on before she goes for her next big kill... ok Im being a bit presumptuous here But really, maybe she just is bored and wants to say hi... just don't forget all the shit she has put you through... and YOU should occupy yourself with pining over a girl that may actually reciprocate! I still say she's no good...

You know what what you said makes sense, however, its ironic, b/c we only spoke that one day she added me, and once she brought up that guy, i didn't make a big deal out of it, made some good convo told her i had to go , and we haven't spoken since then. As far as giving her another chance or hoping ofr anything, i do care about her a lot but your right maybe she is bored, BUT, one hugeeeee thing, she is one of those ppl who will NOT talk to you again if she stops talking to you, i know she does not talk toher bf of 3 years anymore AT ALL, i know she does not talk to a lot of our old mutual freinds AT all anymore.. and she even told me many times shes confused doesn't know wat she wants etc... its not like shes being trictky, but what i don't get is, she says all these things that seem clear and geniune (ex i'm not ready for rel'p, i want to meet other ppl, i like you a lot but i am not IN love with you etc... i don't think i'm IN Love with her either)... but then she comes out with these stupid stunts that i don' get.. aka asking about the guy that messed everything up 4 months after not talking.. or adding me and not talkin to me.. i don't understand.. shes not seeking my attention either..

and if ur thinking wow, either this guy has no idea what hes talkin about or this girl is the oddest thing i've ever heared of,, i assure you, she is the oddest thing you've ever heared of, and i don't know why i even like her soo much..

[vashti]

WHY IS SHE TALKING TO ME AGAIN ?? (after 4 months, and after she said i was "psychotic" and its best if we don't talk or see eachother anymore), all of a sudden she wants to talk to me and "bring old skeletons out of the closet" according to her.

She is under the mistaken impression that a person can go from having a romantic interest to simply being friends. In actual practice, this rarely occurs.

[xcepshun]

She is under the mistaken impression that a person can go from having a romantic interest to simply being friends. In actual practice, this rarely occurs.

Well i wouldn't call it "mistaken impression" b/c even after shit hit the fan i told her i have nothing personal against her and that the friendship we had b4 all that drama is not worth throwing away and unlike most ppl i have maintained good friendships with a lot of my ex's to this day and can do so now, so maybe she thinks were good friends again?


i don't know..

heres my plan tell me what you all think:

Act like nothing ever happnd, treat her like b4 everything occurred, not be rude or cold just be me, and not give her any attention, see where it goes.

[vashti]

Are you hoping this WILL go somewhere? Because that is what I mean by friendships of this nature not working out. One person will often hold out hopes for a romantic reunion when in actuality, this is usually not going to happen.

[xcepshun]

Are you hoping this WILL go somewhere? Because that is what I mean by friendships of this nature not working out. One person will often hold out hopes for a romantic reunion when in actuality, this is usually not going to happen.

Honestly yes, i mean even though its been a lot of nonsense and a lot of games on her behalf, i must admit i feel she is the one for me.. i have always felt this way even before we were freinds, something about her.. i can't describe it, only those who are in love with someone know what i mean.. as far as right now goes i think i'm going to just play it cool and jus be friends which mite be hard but i have to do it, i'm not going to initiate or put myself on the line like before and make myself so available, if she loves me or one day will she will come to me, but i'm still confused as to what her motives are

[vashti]

Girls like to collect boys. I would tell her you aren't interested in being her buddy and that she should call you when she wants something more.