help please

[20yroldvirgin]

i was looking for some advice. so heres the deal - i've been going out with this girl for a bit and things are starting to heat up. only thing is i'm a virgin (at age 20) and she doesnt know. i'm not entirely sure how to tell her or if i even should. i dont want her to think i'm wierd or anything. its not like i'm a virigin by choice i've had the chance before but i never really felt comfotable enough with anyone and i am with this girl - but i'm just afraid that i'm gonna suck (in fact i kinda expect it). i'm just not sure how to go about telling her. any advice/suggestions?

thank you

[zerokool189]

dont worry about it so much... its not a problem at all, just have a talk with her. say you need to tell her something. tell her just what you told us, that youve had the chance before but you werent comfortable, but with her you are... she will love that.

[Sami09]

dont worry about it tell her maybe she is too or maybe she not. she will be happy that you want to be her first and that you are just not one of those guys that just want ass. its nothing to feel bad about you should be proud.

[just maibe]

She isn't going to think any less of you for it. Just tell her

[vashti]

It is better she think you inexperienced than simply bad between the sheets. You know what I mean?

[soul_singer]

I don't really find being a virgin bad, I mean, think about, it does not really make you a loser if you're a virgin...in fact it even makes you cool and really good because it just means that you're serious and you don't go for playtime unlike other guys. Girls would go for someone like you.

You have something new to offer to a girl and its not something that typical guys who have sex with all the girls they've been with could offer...

Observe the girl first, if you think she's for a serious relationship, then you've got nothing to worry about... Now if you think she's just for playtime, then..well, it is up to you if you want to continue or not...

[Tiay]

I agree with everything so far; Tell her!!
I'd actually prefer my bf to be a virgin, but he's not, which is fine too. So really, if she cares about you as a person, she wont mind if you're a virgin or not. In fact, I bet she'll feel special for the reasons soul_singer mentioned and more.

20yroldvirgin; 20 is not very old to be a virgin at all! I know 23 year old virgins. There is another thread on this forum called "knowing that my girl already experienced sex stresses me out" by some guy who seems to be worried simply because his girl isn't a virgin at 19.
*sigh*.. why? I mean I know guys differ from each other, but on the whole it seems they prefer the girl to be a virgin, but if they themselves are a virgin, they think she'll be disappointed.

And yes, you're right, the sex probably wont be great. Many men admit that their first time was fast and clumsy; but who cares?! Frankly, if you're a virgin and she's not, that obligates her to take the pressure off you, show you the ropes, and not expect too much.
Also, if you two have been "heating up", I assume that means you have or will soon engage in sexual activities ('foreplay') other than sex itself. If you learn how to get her to orgasm without any actual intercourse, then you can be sure of giving her a good time no matter what.

[20yroldvirgin]

well i decided to tell her the other day...she broke up with me the next day. i feel like shit now so i'm gonna go to bed! thanks for the advice tho.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, that really stinks! She broke up with you because of that? Maybe she wasn't serious about you and didn't want to be your first.

She might have done you a favor.

[King Zarathu]

What a bitch. You were better off without her.

[Gigabitch]

Jesus, Z- go to bed!

[Venacava]

Well then you probably didn't want to be with her anyway! How judgemental and lame is that, seriously.

[King Zarathu]

Jesus, Z- go to bed!

Tuck me in, sweetie. :-*

[20yroldvirgin]

i'm beginning to believe that women exist simply to build up my confidence and everything only to destroy me and put me 3 steps behind where i started. i'm not moving forward with women but backward from girls just messing with me like this and other ways. i'm done for a while - sorry women but i hate just about all of you now since i've never met one that didn't hurt me! its back to dating porn!

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, do that until you're not bitter any more, but don't give up forever. They're not all like that.

Don't wait 20 years, though.

You could save it for marriage. Might as well.