Just a few questions:help please

[jmayre]

when to get married?
I am 19 and he is 30....is it possible that love exist between us?
How can you tell if a guy really loves you?

[vashti]

I think getting married is a very bad idea until you are at least 28 for a female and 30 for a male. This is because divorce rates are so high when you are younger. besides, "till death do you part" is a really long time.

It doesn't matter if you love each other or not. Love (as described by a 19 year old) is a feeling, and feelings change.

[Venacava]

I definitely wouldn't go getting married at 19! Actually, I am 19 and I don't think I would ever consider marriage. If I was proposed to I would probably laugh and say "Are you joking?". It's not even an option for me right now. I don't think it should be for anyone our age! I've dated guys older than 30 and it doesn't matter about age, even though they're older - it's just not something worth rushing into if you ask me.
How can you tell? Well, I guess you just know. I don't think it's something that anyone can explain when you're not in that individual relationship, people love in different ways and if he loves you then you'll probably know.

[jmayre]

yah i guess you're right! but what do you call about this feeling that i have now? i can even sleep without htinking of him we both spend the whole day... He help me in my health problem (PCOS) and with this health problem i have onlly 3 percent chance to have a baby but still he accept the idea. He still willing to accept me even if i am like desperate with my health.. PCOS is all about cyst in my ovary...and note i have also an inverted uterus...sounds worried on me!

[clark_kent9663]

when to get married?
==> no one can answer it for you. you should be able to know for yourself that you are ready to take the responsiblity of being married. both of you should be emotionally and financially ready. yes, money is not a factor for loving a person, but it will cause a great deal of stress on your marriage if you don't have enough resources to have your own family (you, your husband and if you'll have a kid, adopted or otherwise).

I am 19 and he is 30....is it possible that love exist between us?
==> as i mentioned on some of my post before, age never measures maturity. it's an expectation for an older person to be more mature, but we all know that this is not always true. in most cases, its looks like it's mostly false.

How can you tell if a guy really loves you?
==>no one in this world can tell someone if he's telling the truth (or maybe there ar some people who can really read minds, they, i have yet to meet). but if there are, why do we need polygraph machines? only the person talking can know for sure he's telling the truth. so if he tells you he loves you, don't believe his words, believe his actions (other than the accepting of the health part). but the fact that he accept you in spite of that, is a good sign. but it does not mean he loves you. maybe he don't like kids. we don't know. so words without actions are nothing. watch for his actions, you'll know...

good luck

[King Zarathu]

With questions like that, you definitely lack experience and need to be in more relationships.

[lala]

hello clark and to all of you.. here i gonna say that maybe jmayre already feel for what we called love you're right age never measures maturity... and thats what happen tome.. i am happily married to a guy who is 14 years older than me..i am 19 too when i get settled my husband is 34, but still we live with our love. and if you love somebody you will find a good way too live satisfatorily with money, children and green future....Well everyone of us is different... maybe ahe already reach to the poin of loving somebody... love will come and you cannot deny it, love is there everytime and you can feel it anywhere, or anytime as long as you open your heart to love...some cases you never know it is love unless you've got hurt... Love comesin many different ways...so if you feel that you're happy and comfortable with him go for it...For me your guy jmayre loves youas much because he accept you even if you have that problems....but would you pleasse discuss it
to me what is that PCOS of yours? what is the work of your husband?

[Cybog]

You shouldn't even have a boyfriend at 19. Or at 25.

[vashti]

hello clark and to all of you.. here i gonna say that maybe jmayre already feel for what we called love you're right age never measures maturity... and thats what happen tome.. i am happily married to a guy who is 14 years older than me..i am 19 too when i get settled my husband is 34, but still we live with our love. and if you love somebody you will find a good way too live satisfatorily with money, children and green future....Well everyone of us is different... maybe ahe already reach to the poin of loving somebody... love will come and you cannot deny it, love is there everytime and you can feel it anywhere, or anytime as long as you open your heart to love...some cases you never know it is love unless you've got hurt... Love comesin many different ways...so if you feel that you're happy and comfortable with him go for it...For me your guy jmayre loves youas much because he accept you even if you have that problems....but would you pleasse discuss it
to me what is that PCOS of yours? what is the work of your husband?

Your mother should never have allowed this.

[Sami09]

i don think you are ready for marriage you are just 19 why are you rushin. i am 22 and i think its fine being in a relationship but marriage is a big step that i am just not ready for yet. someone said you should that at 19 u shouldnt be in a serious relationship my question is why not?

[Venacava]

lala : I don't agree with your post at all, you are one out of billions of 19 year olds and you don't have experience on being married young because you're not 20 years from now telling us how it worked out. You don't know. You don't know that it will work, you don't know that it's a smart idea. Because your marriage hasn't worked long term, nor has it failed, you don't really have any experience to go saying that it's a good idea or anything like that, however it is your opinion.

You're 19, hell, you have a lot of life left to live! Be happy in your relationship and if you want to be with someone, then be with them, but there should be no pressure of marriage or anything like that! Who's to say you wont be together for a very long time and THEN decide marriage is a good idea? You never know what's going to happen and I seriously don't see how jumping into a life-long commitment is a smart idea when you're so young.

[lala]

to venacava:
yah that is my opinion and that is not only limit us opinion because i've expereince it? What is there in marriage?it seems that you're not accepting the marriage is here and it will really happen to everyone who wants it? i only told jemayre that if she's ready then go for it..age doesnt matter....and also theres no rule that says only those 20 years above has the idea of getting marraige...the reason of living here in the earth is not mainly to live your life longer to the fullest but to live yourself and undertand whats your purpose of living here... because everything happened for a purpose. we are now five years in our marriage life and i know it works....Yes we are diferent that is why i am not forcing jmayre or anybody to get married in the early stage i only show to you that age will no count... it is because the ability of a man/woman to think deeply will not matter to its age but to his traits...experiece and character......i just think last time that what am i asking for? i have a lot more... i have good friends, good family, good self and environment...because i trust them that eventhough they sometimes hurt me but i still love them and our life have its harmony love is there anykind of love and you can gain happiness if you will accept it....We have the right to decide.. and i am not dull to it.. jmayre if you think that you are ready then go for it.. it will only come once.......



well, the rest of you.. dont think that marriage is to suffer that is not...but if you marry just for any doubts reason...im sure you will not happy.

i guess that would end... good luck guys...expereince first before saying anything okay?

[vashti]

to venacava:
yah that is my opinion and that is not only limit us opinion because i've expereince it? What is there in marriage?it seems that you're not accepting the marriage is here and it will really happen to everyone who wants it? i only told jemayre that if she's ready then go for it..age doesnt matter....and also theres no rule that says only those 20 years above has the idea of getting marraige...the reason of living here in the earth is not mainly to live your life longer to the fullest but to live yourself and undertand whats your purpose of living here... because everything happened for a purpose. we are now five years in our marriage life and i know it works....Yes we are diferent that is why i am not forcing jmayre or anybody to get married in the early stage i only show to you that age will no count... it is because the ability of a man/woman to think deeply will not matter to its age but to his traits...experiece and character......i just think last time that what am i asking for? i have a lot more... i have good friends, good family, good self and environment...because i trust them that eventhough they sometimes hurt me but i still love them and our life have its harmony love is there anykind of love and you can gain happiness if you will accept it....We have the right to decide.. and i am not dull to it.. jmayre if you think that you are ready then go for it.. it will only come once.......



well, the rest of you.. dont think that marriage is to suffer that is not...but if you marry just for any doubts reason...im sure you will not happy.

i guess that would end... good luck guys...expereince first before saying anything okay?

Sorry, but I am guessing English is not your first language because it was very hard to understand this post. What country are you from?

Are you trying to say that you married when you were 14??!!!?? That is horrifying and - thankfully - illegal in the US.

[lala]

vashti:
thanks anyway... yah i am from different country...so what for, the message is not for you right? and i am still proud that i can write english even i am not from U.S. How about you can you speak like ours here? And it seems that you're not actually readin the whole story.... Yes i know that it is illegal in the U.S to marry when you are still 14. that is why i marry at the age of 19....sorry... jmayre understand what im talking about and that is my purpose. So just relax take it easy....

[vashti]

You silly girl. I wasn't critcizing your English. The reason I asked what country you are from is that between several posters, we have multiple languages that are spoken and I thought you might be more comfortable conversing in your own language.

The reason I thought you married at 14 must have been because of this post YOU made.

we are now five years in our marriage life and i know it works....

Anyway, talk to us again in 20 years, if you are still married, which I doubt.