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Thread: Unsure about a longterm relationship.

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    Unsure about a longterm relationship.

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    Last edited by trza3; 05-06-10 at 05:49 AM.

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    I don't know what role the depression plays in this scenario, but I know that it is very common for high school sweethearts to simply outgrow each other. Perhaps this is what is going on with you.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    I tend to think it is best to not tie yourself down in college. It is supposed to be a time of growth, and part of growing means exposing yourself to new kinds of people.

    That being said, sometimes these things DO work out, but no one can tell you for sure whether this is one of those relationships.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    I don't know that expressing doubts about your relationship would be all that helpful if you want to make things work. It is understandable that doing so would make her emotional. This could be one of those things that you need to decide on your own.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    It sounds like you're an emotional hostage. She's got a lot invested in you staying the way you are, too, and not feeling TOO much better about yourself. You've come to the point where you need to fight for room to grow.

    Ask her if she wants a boy or a man, and whether she or her parents are even remotely interested in the person you are becoming.

    Just kidding, I know you could never ask her that, because she would get all screechy and punish you for three days.

    But think about it. And start going to therapy without her. You're depressed. Not her.

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    I guess the only question is: Do you want to spend the rest of your life this way? If it were me, I'd be out of there like a shot, but then I'm a lot older than you, and I know what else is out there.

    It all comes down to what you're willing to tolerate. I, myself, would not be willing to tolerate your situation. I think you should take a break, but I can tell that it would cause Thermonuclear Emotional Detonation to even suggest such a thing to her.

    I think you should explore some of your options quitely, under of her radar. I don't mean cheating- I mean looking into transferring to a different school, just to imagine what life would be like without her constant presence. Envision graduating and just- moving away. Make some friends who don't know her. This is crucial. You have to pick your battles, and this is one you should win, because you may need them someday.

    Imagine her happy with someone else- is there a sense of relief there?

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