Need Solid Advice: SHOULD I ASK HIM TO TAKE ME BACK ?

[olga555]

Hi, everybody, I am at a loss at what to do.

Hi, I just want to know if I blew it with my ex. I really regret that our relationship broke-up and wonder whether or not I should ask him to take me back (very much doubt he will but...never hurts to try).I posted this on other boards but feel need more opinions.

I found out never tell you bf you are going out with your guy friends and I regret that i did.

Me and my (ex)-boyfriend of 9 months broke-up two days before Xmas over me going out with my two guy friends (whom he met before) without him before they flew out West for Xmas, this was a very painful and nasty break-up. He was convinced I was going out with my friends to flirt, which I DON’T, I’ve know these guys for years and don’t have any romantic feelings for them. He met them, one of them has a girlfrined he is in love with (but I used to date him briefly) and to another I am not attracted at all and my ex-bf knew that.

Actually, we had similar ‘jealous’ run-ins in the past each time me trying to convince him that I am not flirting, just trying to be friendly etc etc., By the Way my mom says if I have a snowballs chance of getting married give-up your male friends basically, or hide them from you partner.

I made a huge mistake too because he told me that he was going to have a female friend over to his house the following day and she was going to show him some video (apperently pictures of her travels, by coincidence I was showing him pictures of my travels abroad on video only two months ago ???), and this was the first time I heard about it and he told me she just phoned that very day and told him she was going to come over and show him this video, and he was going to invite me over but now that I was going out with my friends he isn’t. He sounded like he was either hiding somehting or outright lying. Well, at first I said I didn’t seem comfortable with the whole situation but later I apologized and said I should have more trust in him and I was wrong (I wanted to be fair), but he didn’t listen to this last part at all and kept accusing me of not trusting him.

Anyway, there were other issues in the relationship as well, like he is very gun ho to get married (we’ve known each other 9 months), and at one point I told him I wanted to get married too and could see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but the following week we were sitting in a restaurant and he asked me what I thought about marriage and I said yes I plan to get married but not next year, he said yes let’s get engaged next year and my jaw kind of dropped, he got extremely offended by this. I think he took it as a ‘no’ and afterwards kept harping on it. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to get married, I just want to make sure it's the right person and I don't to rush.

When he broke up with me (over the phone) he was crying and said that he was really offended by the expression on my face and he didn’t want to marry me (previous month he said he did and I was the girl of his dreams), and well, anyway, to make a long story short he told me to return all the Xmas gifts (for him and his family) to the store and I wasn’t coming to his hometown with him. Needless to say, pretty devastating. Thank God a friend of mine felt sorry for me and I spent Xmas holiday with her family.

So, I am really confused, I am pushing 30 and this guy is great with kids, extremely handsome (he won’t have problems finding a girl to marry him), has a good job and all the rest of that jazz. I feel like I threw a good chance away and I might never get the opportunity again.

Should I beg him to take me back (but now he said he didn't ant to marry me) and put him in the front seat (he told me he felt he was always in the backseat in the relationship even though he also said I was an attentive, affectionate and caring girlfriend) ? I am at a loss and have a lot of mixed feelings; I feel I might have thrown a good chance away.

[Innova]

Simply put, trust is one of the numero uno on the list to keep a relationship successful, and its obvious that this was lacking (Even after 9 months.)

If there is a chance, and he does love you...go for it. But you guys seriously have to work some issues out. Its sad that people have a few problems and then wanna brake up with somebody. Relationships take more then love, it takes effort...people need to realise this. Some days are better then others.