What do you think?

[LynnD]

I was friends with this guy at work for several years. I was dating someone up until about 6 months ago and we begin to get closer. He was giving me signs that he was interested in more than a friendship but wasn't doing anything about it. So, one of our mutual friends told him that I was liked him. We went out a couple times and had a great time. We continued to talk at work about more personal issues but he never really wants to talk about his feelings so I don't know what he is thinking.

He is very shy and inexperienced when it comes to females. He hasn't dated anyone since I've known him (over 5 years) and he is a very cautious person. He is always saying how demanding and busy his job is and seems to use that as an excuse for us never to get together outside of work much.

We work for the same company but in a total different area so we wouldn't see each other unless we go to each other's office. I have been initiating most of the contact but he is always very welcome and indicates that he is very happy to see me and reciprocates my visits but it seems like I need to make the first contact to the get the ball rolling whether it e-mail, phone, or in person.

I am so frustrated and not sure what to think at this point. Weekend after weekend has passed by and he never wants to get together. I know he's not working every weekend so I can't figure out what the deal is. I'm not sure I feel comfortable bringing up the issue about how he feels because I don't want him to feel pressured but it is just killing me to not know what he is thinking.

I would assume if you like someone, you would want to spend time with them but is it possible that some people can put entering into a relationship on hold because of other areas of their lives. It is fine if he needs time but if he were truly interested, would he make more of an effort on his own to see and talk to me?

f I am interested in someone, I tend to want to see them all the time, at least in the beginning and I also make time for them no matter what else is going on in my life. It just seems to be the thing to do for someone you are interested in and want to get to know better.

I don't know if I should just stop all contact with him and see if he contacts me. If he doesn't then I guess I have my answer but is this a smart thing to do??

[LightOn]

I would suggest giving him a chance to make contact with you. If he doesn't then one would assume he is either uninterested or shy/insecure, sometimes it is better for you to decide what the dilemma is on your own than seeking it from him.

On the other hand, how much attention are you giving him? He may balance his life out between his duty's and you may have to wait for the time to come. How long would you be willing to wait? You say it is killing you not to know what he is thinking, this will sound harsh, but think about that for a second and realize that may look a little codependant, which could scare him off.

Don't take anything I say too seriously, there may be more to it.

[IceQueen]

He either has serious issues, or he doesn't like you.
In any case, you're better off backing out a little bit and letting him come to you.