Does he really like me, or is he using me again?

[Birt]

There's a guy that I went out with last summer for 2 months. He went away on vacation for awhile and while he was gone, his friend, who is one of my ex-boyfriends, told me that my boyfriend was using me and that he was going to dump me before high school started so he wouldn't get made fun of. (I don't know why he would get made fun of anyways.) I dumped him right away, but we were still friends. When we were going out, we hung out a lot, but we did more kissing, etc. than conversing. It's been 5 months since I've dumped him, and let me tell you, it's been a hard 5 months. I thought I was over him, but every time I would see him in the hallways at school, I just had to glance at him. Two months after I dumped him, I was online and we were having a conversation. He wanted to "hang out" that night. I couldn't resist turning that down, so he came over and we "chilled". We talked a little bit, but not any more than we did when we were going out. Since that night, I've become quite obsessed with him. I've cried over him, read my diary from the days we were going out, stared at his yearbook picture, and thought about his sexy voice. Two more months later, we were talking to each other online. We talked so much more than we used to. He wanted to "hang out" again that night, so we did. Not only did we have a great time kissing and all, but we actually talked and had a long conversation, which we haven't really done before. Last Friday, I talked to him again and he came over and we "chilled". We talked even more and he seemed way different than when we were going out. Not only were we more talkative, but he started to tickle my tummy on purpose because he knows I'm very ticklish and then he held my hand. He's never done those things before and it kind of surprised me, but I enjoyed it. He also felt more into what he was doing....it's hard to explain. That night, I had an awesome dream about him. On Thursday during school, I was on my way to a class and saw him the in the hall. We quickly glanced at each other for a split-second. I walked passed him later on that day and I swear that he looked at me when I went by. That night when he got online, he wanted to play a game with me and while we were playing, we'd flirt with each other. He was saying so much more to me. On Friday before school started, I was talking to some of my friends and we just so happened to be a few feet away from his locker. He came to his locker and then moved to a different spot a few feet away from where I was. I was really excited that he was near and my friends and I were acting really goofy and kept laughing. They knew he was around and that I had a big crush on him. I moved to where I could see him talking. My friends told me that he kept looking over in the same direction I was. I looked over at him every once in awhile and he was laughing and smiling a lot, which is something he does a most of the time. They glanced over at him and noticed that he was still continually looking at me, but for only a few seconds. I got online later on that day and he came online. We were talking A LOT and he wanted to know if he could come over. He came over and things were perfect. We were outside in the rain with blankets sitting side-by-side and he automatically put his hands around me. We started making out and caressing each other. He touched my face while making out (that's something new he did), and then he told me to sit on his lap, which he's never had me do before. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me with his head laying on my head. He was fingering me and asked me if I was horny. Boy was I! I gave him a hand job and he said it felt perfect and that he was REALLY HORNY. Usually, I'll ask him if he's horny and he says "a little bit" with little emotion but last night, I didn't even have to ask him. He flat-out blurted the words with a smile on his face and it was rather shocking. I don't think I'd ever seen him so happy. I've never been so happy being with him as I was last night. I swear he likes me, but I can't be too sure because he used me when I was going out with him during the summer. I would really like to go back out with him, but don't know if I should. Does he really like me, or is he using me again?

[sfalexi]

Does he really like me, or is he using me again?

I don't even have to read the post. The title is enough. If he was using you before, he's trying to do the same thing this time around. Goes along with "once a cheater, always a cheater."

Why bother trying to figure it out and then, should you decide to get involved with the person, you have to deal with the constant wondering if you're just being used?

Find someone else.

Alexi

[IceQueen]

I actually read all that. Congratulate me.

There's a guy that I went out with last summer for 2 months. He went away on vacation for awhile and while he was gone, his friend, who is one of my ex-boyfriends, told me that my boyfriend was using me and that he was going to dump me before high school started so he wouldn't get made fun of. (I don't know why he would get made fun of anyways.)

Did you have reason to trust your ex about this?

I swear he likes me, but I can't be too sure because he used me when I was going out with him during the summer.

Yeah, you keep saying he used you, but HOW did he use you? What did he do?

[K3vMySt3r]

i didn't even want to read... i trust sfalexi on this one...don't waste you time on something that u have confusion on...if he did this before... then screw it and find someone else

[Birt]

Congratulations IceQueen!

My ex-boyfriend wasn't the only person that told me. One of my close guy friends told me that he heard from his friend that my boyfriend might be using me. I talked to his friend and he told me that my boyfriend told him that. Plus, I talked to another close guy friend that knows the guy I was going out with and he said that he wouldn't be surprised if that guy was using me.

He used me because he wanted to "get some". My ex-boyfriend said that when we were going out and after his friend saw us making out, he got jealous. When he found out I wasn't going out with that guy anymore, my ex-boyfriend said that his friend said to him, "Hey, I want some too, so I'm going to ask her out." The thing is...he would've gotten the same thing if we weren't going out because we're "friends with benefits".

[IceQueen]

My ex-boyfriend wasn't the only person that told me. One of my close guy friends told me that he heard from his friend that my boyfriend might be using me. I talked to his friend and he told me that my boyfriend told him that. Plus, I talked to another close guy friend that knows the guy I was going out with and he said that he wouldn't be surprised if that guy was using me.

Did you actually confront the guy himself?

The thing is...he would've gotten the same thing if we weren't going out because we're "friends with benefits".

If the "benefits" you are talking about are mutual (and seems like they are), you are technically using each other, not just he -- you.

I guess the question really comes down to what *you* want -- just the benefits, or a relationship.

[sfalexi]

If the "benefits" you are talking about are mutual (and seems like they are), you are technically using each other, not just he -- you.

Excellent point. My post on this thread was intended if you weren't interested in being used or using people and wanted a genuine LT relationship. Now that the "friends with benefits" has come into play then it's really up to you. Yes he might be using you, but you'll be doing the same, wouldn't you? And don't even think that there's such a thing as "exclusive friends with benefits". Cause if you are just friends, he's free to date whomever he wants in addition to playing around with you.

Alexi