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[quisty_2002]

Hi all,

I'm a newbie. Having some relationship problems, would like to hear from all of you for opinions.

There's this guy whom I know for a year. We used to work together in a student organization. Actually I'm his superior, and we werent too close back then.

This year he stepped up to become one of the leaders of the association. Then we started to discuss stuff and shared our thoughts. In the recent few months, we got closer. Coz we shared and discussed views on different issues, e.g. work, study, life, love, etc. He would tell me his deepest worries and I too would do the same.

I like him pretty much, but I'm not sure whether he has feelings towards me. And I am not very into the idea that girls should take initiative.

Anyway, I took a bit of a move some time ago. I asked him out for a movie that he also expressed an interest. Due to our busy schedules, our date was like 2weeks after and before that the movie was pulled down. He always mentioned that he wanna meet up and have chats, but he never really come up with an actual date.

Fyi, both of us are busy people, and never been in a relationship (pls dun laugh^^). And we arent those ppl who like to phone up ppl, we chat online instead. We see each other every week since we work together. Well, we used to chat a lot and hang out together in cafe back in summer (when we discuss our work).

What do u think I should do? ...Do you think that guy has feelings towards me?

[vashti]

If you are his boss-lady, I don't know if pursuing a relationship with him is a good idea. You are possibly putting yourself at risk for a sexual harrassment lawsuit if things go bad.

[quisty_2002]

I have 'retired' from the organization~ hehe would this sound more hopeful?

[vashti]

If you aren't working with him, then I don't see a problem, unless you consider it problematic that you will apparently have to do the pursuing.

[quisty_2002]

yea, i always think that if he is interested in me, then he should make a move. i tried to provide him with opportunities, but seems like he dont get it. so prolly he is not too into me...

[vashti]

Not necessarily. Lots of males act like girls in the dating world these days. It is really more of a question about whether or not you are interested in doing the work.

[quisty_2002]

that's true. i'll bear that in mind.

and i have two questions in mind.

1. how would u know whether a guy is into a girl?
2. If guy + girl start off to be good friends, would they not take another step becoz they think it may ruin the relationship? I ask this, because some guyz who dated me in the past were pretty aggressive.. and I chose to avoid them in the end.

[vashti]

1. how would u know whether a guy is into a girl?
2. If guy + girl start off to be good friends, would they not take another step becoz they think it may ruin the relationship?

I think there is no sure-fire answer to either of these. They very much depend on the individuals involved. Open communication is the key. You've got to be brave enough to talk to him about it. It is a little scary, because you risk alienating the other person, but at least you will have some resolution.

[quisty_2002]

The guy suggested that we should meet up sometime to chat more (since it's rather difficult to type out chunks of words.. we were chatting online, and he mentioned that 3 times already). So today when he said that again, I told him I'll be free for a chat for the coming 2 weeks. His reply was "Well, lemme think about it. Gd nite".

Ok, he turned me down 2 times already....

What do u think about this?

[quisty_2002]

yea, that really pisses me off. and i wont do anything onwards.

as if i have a lot of time to date! argh.

[dreamer101]

lady, sorry to hear about what happened.
my motto is, if you fall then might aswell complete the motion. so if you are going to make the first move here, then go all the way. if he says 'lets meet for a chat' and you say 'next two weeks', both are too open ended. say 'how about dinner, fri night?' then if he says 'i'll think about it', you'll get pissed off and get over it. but at least you would have done it right.