Serious sexual problem.

[j22]

Before i start typing this out, i'm sorry if it's in the wrong forum. This one seemed like the most sensible place to put it.

OK, so... i was with my last girlfriend for a little over 2 years. At the start of the relationship she was totally against the idea of sex. I think she was like 15 or 16 at the time and she just didn't feel ready. A few months into the relationship we started sleeping together. I often got the feeling though that she was just doing it to keep me happy not because she wanted to. The sex was always really shit with her just wanting me to cum really quickly and we never wanted to try any different positions. It got to the stage where the idea of sex with her just turned me off and 1 time i lost my erection during. From that moment on i found it very hard to keep it up while we were having sex. For the past few months of our relationship we didn't have sex at all. We would still do all the forplay but we would just never have sex. Anyway, we've broken up now.

I'm just starting to get with a new girl, we've been getting on really well and it's totally obvious that she wants to sleep with me. One of her friends actually came up to me yesterday and asked me "why the **** haven't you had sex with her yet??!?!?!". The truth is i'm scared that i won't be able to keep it up.

I went to the doctors a few weeks ago but he was no help at all. He just said that its very very unlikley that its anything physical because of my age. (i'm only 19) And i just need to "talk" to my girlfriend about it.

I'm actually toying with the idea of breaking it off with this girl just to save myself the embarassment of it all. This girl has a very social job working with a lot of people i know and it's not the sort of thing i want to "get out" if you know what i mean.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm really, really dreading the conversation and i'm also dreading what's going to happen after. I feel really bad about the whole situtation... she must feel like to don't like her or something. She has slept round my house about 4 times now, each time i've had to make an excuse as to why i we can't have sex. ARGHHH!!! It's not as if i don't want to have sex, i'm just really scared. What makes it even worse is that this girl has just got out of a relationship with a guy much older and more experienced than me. I've got a lot to live up to.

If anyone could offer some advice on the subject i would be very greatful.
Cheers.

[damoclesjones]

Yes, you've started a snowball of fear, it's built up to very hard to get out of proportions.

Gut-tearing confession of weakness (inexperience / fear) combined with heart-breaking but unclingy and unneedy expression of passion will work if you want to have a loving relationship. If you just want sex, it's going to be much more difficult.

Sticking with love - as pure sex, as far as I'm concerned is worthless. She may have been with an experienced man, but chances are she wasn't with a man who could talk honestly about his feelings, desires, love, sex and so on. When you are kissing and intimate, soft-talk about sex and love will work wonders for you both. It may seem scary, but this kind of intimacy is, although you might not quite realise it, what you want more than anything else.

[KillaJakez]

Umm...the best advice I can give you is to masterbate until you learn how you work and know exactly what is going on. You have to know yourself before you have sex . At least good, long lasting sex that is.

[TDurden]

Yes, you've started a snowball of fear, it's built up to very hard to get out of proportions.

Gut-tearing confession of weakness (inexperience / fear) combined with heart-breaking but unclingy and unneedy expression of passion will work if you want to have a loving relationship. If you just want sex, it's going to be much more difficult.

Sticking with love - as pure sex, as far as I'm concerned is worthless. She may have been with an experienced man, but chances are she wasn't with a man who could talk honestly about his feelings, desires, love, sex and so on. When you are kissing and intimate, soft-talk about sex and love will work wonders for you both. It may seem scary, but this kind of intimacy is, although you might not quite realise it, what you want more than anything else.

I don't like you.

And to the original poster, is it that you can't be aroused by women at all or what? Try what the other guy said about masturbating. If you really can't keep it up then shit, I dunno, viagra?

[CherriBlossomGirl]

You'd be suprised how much psychology has to do with sex. The problem with getting and keeping it up might not even have anything to do with a physical issue.

[Junket]

Did you know that a paralyzed guy is actually capable of an erection and ejaculation?

Apparently the brain doesn't have as much control over the penis as many think. There's somethin' in the spinal column that has control over it. Wish I had a link to refer to, if I come up with somethin' I'll be sure to return.

EDIT: I was on the right track, this is what I came up with...

Normally, men have two types of erections. Psychogenic erections result from prurient sights or thoughts and depend on the level and extent of paralysis. Men with complete parlaysis usually do not have psychogenic erections. A reflex erection occurs involuntarily by direct contact with the penis or other erogenous zones (ears, nipples, neck). Most paralyzed men are able to have a reflex erection unless nerves in the sacral spinal cord (S2–S4) are damaged.

Orgasm after paralysis is possible for some men but it is often not the same as it is usually defined. It can become less physical, less focused on the genitals and more a state of mind. It is important to know that loss of sensation does not rule out loss of sexuality.

Link: [url]http://www.paralysis.org/site/c.erJMJUOxFmH/b.1306549/k.A2F4/Sexuality_for_Men.htm[/url]