Help! What is that?

[cybermistress]

I am in a relationship for over 2 years. We are now buying an appartment together, and planned to get married next year.
BUT...
He works night shift all the time, and I'm on work for the whole day. We are already asa an old couple. Sex- once a month. I love him. I respect him. But I'm not quite sure. I think sometimes that I'm with him because he gives me that security feeling.
I had a long relationship before him, and man, those were feeling. This isn't so strong. I know that it can't be the same always.
The problem is...
I'm in chat with a guy that really gives me vibrations. I don't understand what is happening to me. I thought everything was ok a month ago, but now...
I know him, he is so handsome, but we chat a long, sometimes for hours and I feel that it could last for days. It is not just a simple cyberchat. It is advising and everything.
I don't know if he feels the same, but it seems to me that he isn't that indifferent.
He is in a 7year relationship.
When I met him a few days ago, I even had the butterflies in my tommy.
What is that?
Should I worry? Is it normal?
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

[Gigabitch]

Chat guy is not real. The butterflies are about your own hopes- you're projecting them onto him. I think it's totally normal to have a huge crush on someone when your current relationship is unsatisfying, and it can seem like the most vital thing in the world, but in the end, it's just a crush.

Your real relationship is another, more serious concern. You people are already bored, and you haven't even gotten to the really boring part yet (believe me, I know).

My advice: Don't marry this guy.

[vashti]

I agree with Giga, and don't pin your hopes on the internet guy. I bet his wife/girlfriend doesn't think he is perfect, either.

[Junket]

I say you sit down, and grab a chocolate malted milkshake.

Then think this all over.

[Zach]

I say you sit down, and grab a chocolate malted milkshake.

Then think this all over.

I think this is a great idea and I am going to have to get one myself.
Don't be to hastey with your actions and do realize no matter how many people you date you will always eventually get bored with them. Chasing that butterfly feeling will never get you anywhere.

[Lovehappens]

I think you should just move on with your life and dont bother.. this will happen again sometime

[misombra]

sex once a month?

damn.

i would die.

[cybermistress]

ok... we all have our opinions...
but...
what to do, I don't want to hurt him, I think I really messed it up a little bit this time.
The thing is that I don't want to end up someday, thinking of what would, could and should.
I knew what this love feeling was. I thought I had it with this guy too. But what if I stop with being in love with him?
What if it becomes a dull old relationship based on air?
I think I could escape somewhere, not to see tahose faces at all.
But the biggest problem is...
that now I am really in a stressfull situation, and I'm alone in my thoughts all the time. So one day this chat guy, came in, and he was there. With conversation and advices.
I know it is not a true thing, and it will happen some day again. This crush thing. Cause we need those kind of feelings.
But the thing he made me realize that this BF of mine, doesn't talk at all.
Yesterday I told him, that he must start talking to me, and if not that it could be a crucial thing for our relationship, and that I don't feel him anymore, like I used to.
And he said,
oh please... and laughed in the end.
I'm so stressed with that that I want to scream.
Maybe I am just scared, cause the real time of serious things and real growing up, came finally at my door.

I was watching the pics, a few days ago, when I was younger, crazier, free...
Those were times.

Sorry for so much text, but in the end we all have our stories...
Help!

[vashti]

If you aren't happy with your boyfriend, then get rid of him before you are married and stuck for good.

[Mathias]

If you aren't happy with your boyfriend, then get rid of him before you are married and stuck for good.

Listen to vashti. She knows stuff.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, cyber, I can hear it- you're making that big decision to leave him. Let this be some consolation to you: something that's not right only gets MORE not right as time goes by, so you're not losing anything either of you would have wanted. Split up now, or get divorced in ten years- your call.

[Sami09]

i think you should talk to your bf about how you are feeling. Maybe he also is feeling frustrated because of the scheduling. If either of you can take a weekend off go away together and have a good time maybe that will help. If after that there is still no feeling maybe it should end.

[cybermistress]

oh my God... it is all so complicated. I told him I have doubts and I told him to go somewhere togheter, and he just said, I am sure, and I have no need to go somewhere to check.
Oh, he pisses me off so much, I would kill him.
He is so slow and passive.
I probably had big expectation about him. Now everything is falling.
What should I do?
Why doesn't he want to do something to change that makes me change my mind or something.
We watched a few days ago the movie The Breakup, and now I feel the same.
He just doesn't want to do anything, and in the end we split.
I am not sure if I want to break up, I only want him to do something, amuse me, surprise me...

[tooxshort]

let it burn ... no need to drag a dead horse ... you guys are obviously on different wavelengths ... the sooner you break free, the sooner you both can move on ...

[Gigabitch]

You should just kill him. That way, you'll never regret letting someone else have him, and you'll be free to pursue a real relationship.

But really, look at it this way. He says he's sure, but why is he sure about such an unfulfilling relationship? Is he just limited in his ability to conceive of something better? You want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who doesn't even know how good it could be?

And just maybe you're totally wasting his time, and he deserves to be free to find someone who is mad for him.