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Thread: Pursuing an unknown girl?

  1. #1
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    Pursuing an unknown girl?

    Hey guys, just after a little advice but I'll give some back info first.

    Ive been in a tutorial at Uni with this girl for the whole semester, never spoken to her. My only mate in the class is a bit of a loudmouth so it sort of makes me seem like a bit of the "try hard" type merely because I always sat with him. Anyway, at the last class, I say to myself Im gonna go talk to her, got given 2 oppurtunities where she went past me where we were both by ourselves and I did nothing. Of course I kicked myself for it.

    Now I have my finals in a week for the subject, so Im hopign to find her and say something along the lines of "Hey, (name), you're (name) right? Listen I know we've never spoken before, but you just seem like a really nice and smart person and Ive wanted to have a chat to you all semester....Anyway I was wondering if you weren't busy with anything else now, if you'd want to go grab a coffee and hang out?"

    Anything wrong with that, anything I should know about that would stop me from being so upfront? Lol. Oh also, I dont even drink coffee ! so would it be cool to ask her what shes having and buy it for her? Not too sure on the ettiquette

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Hm... well, the approach seems fine.. I think that maybe you should initiate a conversation and try to talk for a few minutes before saying that. I also wouldn't say her name if you two never met, even if you do know her name. I'd say like, oh, you're in my class right?

    I think it is fine being upfront, but I think you should ease in a little bit. Also, if the conversation beforehand doesn't go too well, then you could use that to refrain on asking her somewhere [that way it won't be awkward]. You get a sense from a few minutes if you feel you two may be compatible or not in terms of conversation. Also, I would not choose to go to coffee if you do not drink it. It's a bit awkward if you ask someone somewhere and not get anything. I think you should ask her to something that you also like... drinks, or smoothies, or something. Maybe even an informal bite to eat.
    If a dream comes true... then is it still a dream?

  3. #3
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    Thanks for the reply. I do know her name, and Im sure she knows mine because of the way our tutor asked us questions in class.

    As for the conversation, Id like to, but I'll even be lucky to catch her as it is when shes walking out the exam, and it'll be my only chance as I know nothing further about her and we're going into 3 months holidays.

    Finally coffee, personally, Im on a very strict diet and don't like breaking it much, plus there aren't many good places close by we can go for a bite, but I'll definitely try to think up something because I agree it would be weird.

    Thanks again

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turismo View Post
    Hey guys, just after a little advice but I'll give some back info first.

    Ive been in a tutorial at Uni with this girl for the whole semester, never spoken to her. My only mate in the class is a bit of a loudmouth so it sort of makes me seem like a bit of the "try hard" type merely because I always sat with him. Anyway, at the last class, I say to myself Im gonna go talk to her, got given 2 oppurtunities where she went past me where we were both by ourselves and I did nothing. Of course I kicked myself for it.

    Now I have my finals in a week for the subject, so Im hopign to find her and say something along the lines of "Hey, (name), you're (name) right? Listen I know we've never spoken before, but you just seem like a really nice and smart person and Ive wanted to have a chat to you all semester....Anyway I was wondering if you weren't busy with anything else now, if you'd want to go grab a coffee and hang out?"

    Anything wrong with that, anything I should know about that would stop me from being so upfront? Lol. Oh also, I dont even drink coffee ! so would it be cool to ask her what shes having and buy it for her? Not too sure on the ettiquette

    Thanks
    Okay, when I read that, (I swear I'm being honest) I said "NO!" out loud. Seriously.

    At least have a conversation with the bitch first. Don't just be all, "HEY UR MINE NOW LOLO!L!OL!LO!LO!1111" because it's going to do nothing but creep her out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathu View Post
    Okay, when I read that, (I swear I'm being honest) I said "NO!" out loud. Seriously.

    At least have a conversation with the bitch first. Don't just be all, "HEY UR MINE NOW LOLO!L!OL!LO!LO!1111" because it's going to do nothing but creep her out.
    Hahaha!

    Yeah +1.


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  6. #6
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    Hi guys,

    Firstly I know you guys replied "NO" because I seemed like a cocky prick. I should be more upfront about myself. This whole issue of approachig unknown girls is a real problem for me, and it mentally ****s with me to know that I can't even do this simplest of social interaction. The approach I outlined earlier was based on what I hear from friends etc etc

    Ive turned myself into a bodybuilder, Ive changed my attitude to be fun, outgoing, always around friends. Yes as sad as it sounds, everything the "cool" people do.

    I know Im coming off as a whiny bitch, but, is there physically/mentally ANY way to 'learn', not even asking girls out, just even making small conversation. I have no ****ing idea, some people, its second nature.

    Oh and for the record, the day I mentioned before was today, I said nothing. And I hate myself for it now, she 'seemed' like an extremely smart, down to earth type. Then again, theres nothing I couldve said anyway

    Sorry if this is an illogical rant, I just sort of need to vent or it messes with my head too much

  7. #7
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    I think you should start a small conversation first. Ask her how she likes your class, has she had trouble with the exams, tell her a bit about what YOU think of the class, how you look forward to weekends. Ask her what she likes to do when she isn't studying. (Remember her answer!) Tell her it sounds like fun, or is interesting, etc. no matter what you really think. If the conversation goes well up to this point, tell her you have to get to another class, but would she like to get together for coffee sometime? (Coffee shops always have non-coffee options, and yes, you should ALWAYS pay when you do the inviting, and don't forget to leave a tip. I always make note of who is a tipper, and who isn't.)

    If she says no, just tell her you can't blame a guy for trying (be careful not to look broken-hearted), and oh well, you've gotta go.

    If she says yes, get her phone number, tell her you'll call her in a day or two, and then be sure you do.
    Last edited by vashti; 27-11-06 at 10:07 PM.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    The only way to become more facile with conversation is to practice. You should force yourself to start one little verbal exchange with a strange girl every day, even if it's just the grocery clerk. If you do this enough, talking to girls you're actually interested in will be much easier. Maybe then you can stop hating yourself. Oh, and kicking yourself.
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    Liar. Tell her you'll love her & leave her. Truth is very compelling.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aegis View Post
    Then, just to let her know how serious I am, I'll tell her, "I'll go down on you..." Whaddya think? Smooth?
    I think this alone should do the trick.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    I think this alone should do the trick.
    Seriously. I know if it were reversed, and a girl said this to me...I'd be putty in her hands.

    Well, the opposite of putty, if you know what I mean.

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