Trouble Expressing Sentiment

[Junket]

I just got off the phone with Ames, y'know we did our normal chitchat.

And it's funny with her, she's never been keen on expressing (at least into words) her sentiment.

I think I mentioned this earlier to some extent, but it's like, when she does, I'm almost taken back by it.

For example, when we were getting off the phone she said that she's not good with the goodbye part, and that she wanted to say-, and starting laughing at herself for being so ridiculous.

What's funny is that I know when she's gonna say something serious, or sentimental, because she has a hard time getting it out, she'll laugh about how silly it is or how silly she is for having trouble sayin' it, so it's like, I have an idea as to what is comin', but still when she said "I just wanted to say I miss you...and yeah." Logically one would think it obvious to respond with "I miss you too". But I just stand there on the phone feeling dumbfounded.

Which makes things more awkward for her 'cause she hates silence so we ended it with goodnight, and there I was feelin' like a giddy little girl thinkin' "she misses me! she misses me!".

Here's the thing, I'm not even the kind of person that has any reservations about expressing how I feel about other people, whether it's favorable or unfavorable. But with Amy, because I know she's very uptight about expressing such things, I have also become almost equally challenged in putting these things into words. Well, vocal words at least.

I'm not really asking for advice...it was kind of a half vent, but if you have any thoughts feel free.

[TDurden]

This is kinda goofy cause the girl I'm pursuing right now is named Amy and has problems conveying serious emotions.

[Gigabitch]

Fras, you should e-mail her. Right away. Give her something great she can read over and over. Go do it.

[Junket]

Fras, you should e-mail her. Right away. Give her something great she can read over and over. Go do it.

Pssht, dude, I'm already on that.

I've written out a pretty sentimental letter (on paper!) and I'm sendin' it to her this week. To make it a bit more original I wrote the lyrics from brown eyed girl along the outside of the envelope excluding the actual "brown eyed girl" portion 'cause she'll know what I'm talkin' about. Apparently she's the only one in her family with brown eyes and her sisters used to sing that song to her when she was little.

On top of that, I was happy to see an e-mail from her this morning from last night's phone call -

Sometimes I get off the phone with you, and I'm not sure why you bother. =P

I'm going to get better at communicating... someday. In the meantime - just know that I care more than I would ever say, and I'm working on saying it less awkwardly.

>>>insert smiley here<<<

This is kinda goofy cause the girl I'm pursuing right now is named Amy and has problems conveying serious emotions.

Oh really?

Have you posted anything on the happenin's?

If not, you should, 'cause now I'm curious.

[TDurden]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=15593&page=2[/url]

That is the most recent post I've made about it. If you would want me to go into more detail I certainly could try

[Ellynn]

Don't feel bad. Im not good with expressing my emotions either. When I try, I usually come out sounding like a monotone numb person.

Definately write it out on paper. I know I better at writing it down instead of saying it. If its worded properly, it will touch her heart.

Good luck!

[Henry123]

Frasbee have you ever tried telling her its Okay for her to say how she feels. I'm not sure how long you have been with Ames. Maybe it will take more time for her to open up and express her feelings to you???? I suppose some time will need to pass befor it happens then. Good luck with the situation.

[vashti]

I have also become almost equally challenged in putting these things into words. Well, vocal words at least.

Of course you feel awkward. You are new at this, and it takes practice. Same for her. Enjoy the newness while it lasts.

[Junket]

No, that's just the thing, like I said, I'm usually open about whether I like or do not like people. To most any extent.

It's just the knowing talk of affection is uncomfortable for her makes it uncomfortable for me.

And yes Henry I did let her know that I want her to be able to open up more to me. I told her that last night, and it's in the letter I'm sending to her.

For her as she's told me, her mindset is kind of a result of her upbringing.

She's headstrong, and the need to express such emotions is usually repressed. We had a whole discussion as to why she would type me up this long e-mail, and then delete it down to basically "I'm good, how are you?" She feels like she's "dumping" on me things I don't want or care to hear. When it's just the opposite, y'know? I'm not just interested in the physical aspect of the relationship, which I might add, she's better as expressing herself through than words.

I'm not trying to force her to say what she doesn't want to, so I just let her know that should she feel compelled to share whatever with me, that she can, and that I'll appreciate her trust in confiding in me.

I was more open with her in September, but one instance kinda stuck with me, this one time as we were ending the phone call I said "I miss you", and she just returned with "yeah...". That kinda hurt. But she was very iffy about things back when, but it still kinda clammed me up a bit y'know?

[Gigabitch]

Maybe someday the dam will break and it will all come pouring out in a torrent of emotion. How great would that be?

[Junket]

Maybe someday the dam will break and it will all come pouring out in a torrent of emotion. How great would that be?

Heh, I wouldn't even know how to react to that.

"Torrent of emotion" is kinda vague afterall.

[Gigabitch]

You boys are always complaining that we girls are too vague. Okay, what if she called you up, voice trembling, and said, "You are the person I always hoped existed, the person who can make my heart feel like it's going to burst with love. You're everything to me, Choi, and I will do whatever it takes to be with you."

[Junket]

You boys are always complaining that we girls are too vague. Okay, what if she called you up, voice trembling, and said, "You are the person I always hoped existed, the person who can make my heart feel like it's going to burst with love. You're everything to me, Choi, and I will do whatever it takes to be with you."

Haha, then I'd probably react the same as I would when she says she misses me, which would go something like this:

"...?!..."

But in any case, I couldn't imagine seeing her say something like that, she's too...not like that, for lack of a better description.

Then again, it wouldn't be the first time she's surprised me.

EDIT: And you girls are way too vague. That's why we guys have to be so damn specific.

Actually, scratch that, I'm a hypocrite, I'm notorious for being far too cryptic (though not here on LF).

[Henry123]

Frasbee is it possible that she may have intimacy issues and some how she doing these things to hide it?????

[Junket]

Frasbee is it possible that she may have intimacy issues and some how she doing these things to hide it?????

I don't understand your logic, I don't see what you're looking for.

What haven't I presented in the original post that you didn't understand?

You always seem to seek out some deeper darker issue regardless of whether it's even there.

I told you what's what, there's no "secrets" here.

If anything, she's open about the fact that she struggles with putting herself out there. And if you look at the original post, she says she's going to work at it. None of this is new or surprising to me, I knew and spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week with this girl from Sept. 2005 to June 2006. I have a little card she wrote me back in January in thanks for me being open with her (and the rest of the team), as I took each team member aside and told them how much they each meant to me. One of the key things you would find in there is "I'm not good at this mushy stuff-".