Desperation? this stinks

[Off2College]

Well, so its the end of my first semester of College, which makes it very close to 1 year since I created this account back in the winterbreak of senior year of high school.

In college, I've been extremely involved with a lot of stuff while maintaining my 4.0. Because of these involvements, I haven't been able to really make many close friends or have a ton of time to date. I had my first real "date" in this first semester of college, and I was really obsessed over her for like more than a month. But the only problem is that while I like certain parts of her personality, there are other major parts that turn me off... She is definately NOT your average girl. take my word for it. I'm not even going into physical attractiveness here, because she has that.

Because of these certain lacks and flaws, I don't really see myself with her in a real long-term relationship. Yet I can't seem to move on? I've tried three times this semester, in attempts to forget about her, to just cut contact. But she always calls me back. She knows I like her. But yet, do I? I don't know. Besides her, I've only found interest in one other girl, but that's really a distant shot.

I feel really weird because I am at large college with literally tens of thousands of girls. But I have only found two girls so far that I'd go for, and one of them, as stated, I try to forget but can't.

I KNOW I am desperate. And it is really getting into my happiness here at college... Any advice? I am completely lost.

[The Great OV!!!]

LoL, I am in a college with thousands of girls and I have found ZERO worthy of going after.

[NeoSeminole]

I went through 4 yrs of college and met only 2 girls worth pursuing.

[misombra]

what are the traits that you find intolerable?

[Rob26]

If you have just dated a few times and there are things about this girl's personality that turn you off -- it's time to move on. That's what dating is about, isn't it -- finding someone you really like?

[Ellynn]

I know what you mean. Im a female and only found one guy worthy of dating in college. But, he was not a student, so basically it was off limits considering I am a student.

There are plenty of other places in life you can meet someone worthwhile. Focus on school for now.

[Off2College]

thanks for the advice everyone.. especially Ellynn. Yet often I feel I "need" someone to fall back on now that I'm away from home.. my friends circle is very small, like 2-3, and my "best" friend is the girl I liked.. ahhgg is hard to forgo the urge for romance when you really don't got much social relationships going, and when you're a 19 year old male in freshman year! her traits that turn me off are being overtly serious/stern. She takes EVERYTHING at face value. Also emotional stability is also an issue... she cries alot.

My standards are standard i think, Pretty, not dumb, caring, conversational, don't smoke, don't get drunk at parties every weekend and generally chill to hang out with

I'm thinking of joining a frat to have a close circle of friendship and so stop depending on finding romantic relationships

how should I focus more????!

[Ellynn]

how should I focus more????!

Let me know when you find out the answer to that question. That is what I am trying to do. I guess the stuff I'm trying to do is hang out with friends, study(which is easier to do when Im not on break), and work. Kinda takes the focus off of my love life or lack of.

[anachronistic]

Maybe you guys are too rigid. You might want to consider whether or not your standards are too lofty. This is not to say that you shouldn't have any standards at all, but let's put it this way: most men aren't George Clooney, so we women will have to compromise our ideals or forever be single.

they do have a point though; almost all the women i know personally are just plain... eh, you know. not good enough.

i have gone through 4 years of high school (i know, yuck, high school) and i only found 3 girls worth dating.

they just arent anything like me. all the girls in my current high school are really shallow. it is unbelievable!

[Rob26]

I really think you need to avoid this girl to keep from doing something stupid -- like getting in a full-blown relationship with her or getting her pregnant. I could see you getting closer to your male friends or searching out another girl to get close to -- if only, initially, to get your mind off THIS girl -- who isn't "the one".

[anachronistic]

rob, you are pretty cool. you should stick around this place- it'd be good for ya

[Off2College]

well i tried 3 times to completely ignore her, but she came back each time. I try to think of her as just friends, but then the thing is we dont' have common friends so whenever we hang out we are always alone. and under those circumstances its hard to keep thinking of her as a friend. she ticks me off sometimes too...

Well the new year should be pretty intense with all my extracurriculars and then some transfer applications going in (ya i'm trying to transfer out, don't ask). I might join a frat to get a circle of brothers going.. and i'm thinking of becoming, umm, promiscuous, in the new year, to the best of my abilities, to take my mind off focusing on a single girl. Don't know hwo that's going to work out. I might not even have the time to do that for the first month or two, which would be good.