family vs boy/girlfriend

[debussy12]

which one do you think weigh more in your current life? Would you put your relationship above your family? let's say you had a big brother and he was very sick right now, but you could only meet your boyfriend once in a long while (becuase you guys were in a long distance relationship),and it was a new relationship. You wanted to see your boyfriend so much and you already bought the tickets,planning to fly to where he lived,because you never knew when would be the next time you guys could get together, but,what about the brother who was sick, and still had to go to work everyday?There was no one else living in the house except you and your big brother,and if you were gone,you didn't know what would happen.However,you would be left for 3 days only.So,what would you choose? taking care of your brother? Meeting the boyfriend?

[vashti]

Does your brother need you? If yes, then I think "need" trumps "want" every time, especially for a new relationship. To ignore your sick brother's needs in favor of your own pleasure would be selfish. Tell your boyfriend to come visit you instead.

(This is assuming, of course, that you love and care about your brother.)

[Ellynn]

Well, I kinda am in a similiar situation. My mom is sick, and I take care of her. I cannot go away for more then a day at a time because I am her sole caretaker. So, relationships(even a social life) is kinda tough at the moment. But I have had them in the past and I know how you feel torn.

BUT, If i were in your situation and I had to choose between my bf and my mom, I would choose my mom. Family is family. If your bf loves you he will understand.
Like Vashti suggested, have your bf visit instead. This way your being there for your brother but yet are not cheating yourself by not having time for your bf.

If your bf doesn't understand this, then he's not worth it.

[mikeee]

For me personally, nothing would be above taking care of family in need. If you're the sole caretaker, I would stay and take care of your brother, even if your boyfriend, was a husband. He's healthy, your brother is not and needs you. You'll be doing good and you'll eventually be rewarded for it.

I admire anyone who takes care of anyone, family or not. My brother took care of his wife when she became paralyzed, 15 years now. Maybe you can arrange for your boyfriend to visit sometime soon?

[debussy12]

I admire anyone who takes care of anyone, family or not. My brother took care of his wife when she became paralyzed, 15 years now. Maybe you can arrange for your boyfriend to visit sometime soon?

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's wife.I agree with all you guys,family is above anything. My brother is staying in a hospltal right now due to some kidney problems,I'm really worried because 3 of my family members(including my dad) also happened to have kidney diseases. My oldest aunt died 40 years ago,when she was in her 30s.But worries won't help,I think I just need to stay calm.Anyway,I will need to make a decision,whether to go see my boyfriend or not, on thursday. I would take your advices and see if there's any further arrangement.Thank you everyone for reading my problems.