Developed a bad opinion of Sexual Activity

[Varulfr]

Right, so my first sexual experience was with a serious girlfriend that i had been dating for several months. We had already experimented with various activity but she wanted to take it a bit further, get the act over and done with at last.

See now, I'm one of those "romantic" types and I wanted my first time to be something a bit more special than "Hey babe, let's you and I get jiggy with it". I knew that the time and place would just feel... right. I was absolutely certain of this, I still think it could have been.

Yeah, i'm a guy, I denied sex for some degree of time, we do exist, we are a rare and perishing breed I am aware of this...

At any rate... Eventually she began to put emotional pressure on me to "get my freak on", you might say.

I broke... I engaged in the act.

I HATED IT. It was hollow. There was nothing in the act. I may as well have been a department store mannequin! I felt souless, empty. I wasn't making love to her, I was ****ing her, she made that very clear to me. But I didn't want to **** her, I wanted to love her, and she destroyed that. I was disgusted in her for guilting me into the act and doubly so for my giving in to her demands.

Heh, but I wore the mask well... we had such a relationship for about six months more and I always did it when she wanted to, avoiding it when possible.

To the point, I have very little interest in sex anymore... I'm actually becoming a bit frightened by my disinterest. Has she destroyed my sex drive? Will I ever be able to be intimate with a woman again without feeling that... that sense of revulsion? That sense of corruption?

Just to keep the question from popping up, no I am not a homosexual who is merely finally finding out that his desires lie elsewhere. I find men disgusting by nature and wonder how women could possibly be attracted to the bloated, reeking psuedo-corpses we refer to nowadays as "men". The vast collection of lesbian porn from my high school days is also a testament to the truth of my inner nature.

Perhaps I simply didn't find her sexually attractive? I will admit I often asked myself if I truly ever thought her beautiful, as I so oft told her...

[The Great OV!!!]

I don't know. I am losing my sex drive and you are losing your interest in sex. It is odd though because even if the sex was not passionate and was more down right ****ing a man should usually be turned on anyways, unless like you said, you were not as attracted to her as you thought...but I don't understand how you don't know your level of attraction...that is beyond me.

[misombra]

maybe you're a lesbian?

[vashti]

Based on your views of virginity before you had sex, I suspect your warped perceptions preexisted your sexual activity. Stop blaming her. You did what you did, and now you feel guilty. You made your own choice, now take responsibility for it like a man.

You probably have some sort of a madonna-whore complex which is fueled by your interest in porn while remaining chaste. Are you a religious guy?

I suggest you get some good counseling.

[Junket]

Yeah, i'm a guy, I denied sex for some degree of time, we do exist, we are a rare and perishing breed I am aware of this...

Sorry, but you're not that special.

[TDurden]

Oh god that must've been sooooo horrible for you, having your girlfriend asking you to sleep with her, and then having to actually **** her. I'm amazed you're still alive after that 'hollow' and 'corrupted' experience.

Vashti's right, you have no business blaming the girl, she just wanted to have sex. You wanted to do some freaky two-intertwined-souls bullshit. Now, because you didn't have spiritual sex you're pissing and moaning and being a drama queen.

You've had one, ONE, sexual partner and nothing about your experience with her was scarring. If that somehow causes you to lose your sex drive then you're a lost cause and you might as well become a monk.

[Ellynn]

Next time someone "pressures" you, hold out for someone you really want to be with. Keep in mind that even though you might feel you were PRESSURED, you had a right to say no. So, if you didn't, you cannot blame anyone but yourself.

I think you had too high of expectations for the first time. I held out for a long time and my first time was far from picture perfect. In fact, the guy used me. (I found that out after the fact.) But, the point is, it wasn't all his fault. I admit that I always had the opportunity to say no...and never did. So, therefore I learned from my mistake and was much more particular about who I got involved with sexually after that.

So basically, you live and you learn. No point in focusing on what happened in the past cuz you can't change that. But focus on the future.

[Zach]

Right, so my first sexual experience was with a serious girlfriend that i had been dating for several months. We had already experimented with various activity but she wanted to take it a bit further, get the act over and done with at last.

See now, I'm one of those "romantic" types and I wanted my first time to be something a bit more special than "Hey babe, let's you and I get jiggy with it". I knew that the time and place would just feel... right. I was absolutely certain of this, I still think it could have been.

Yeah, i'm a guy, I denied sex for some degree of time, we do exist, we are a rare and perishing breed I am aware of this...

At any rate... Eventually she began to put emotional pressure on me to "get my freak on", you might say.

I broke... I engaged in the act.

I HATED IT. It was hollow. There was nothing in the act. I may as well have been a department store mannequin! I felt souless, empty. I wasn't making love to her, I was ****ing her, she made that very clear to me. But I didn't want to **** her, I wanted to love her, and she destroyed that. I was disgusted in her for guilting me into the act and doubly so for my giving in to her demands.

Heh, but I wore the mask well... we had such a relationship for about six months more and I always did it when she wanted to, avoiding it when possible.

To the point, I have very little interest in sex anymore... I'm actually becoming a bit frightened by my disinterest. Has she destroyed my sex drive? Will I ever be able to be intimate with a woman again without feeling that... that sense of revulsion? That sense of corruption?

Just to keep the question from popping up, no I am not a homosexual who is merely finally finding out that his desires lie elsewhere. I find men disgusting by nature and wonder how women could possibly be attracted to the bloated, reeking psuedo-corpses we refer to nowadays as "men". The vast collection of lesbian porn from my high school days is also a testament to the truth of my inner nature.

Perhaps I simply didn't find her sexually attractive? I will admit I often asked myself if I truly ever thought her beautiful, as I so oft told her...

I can understand that you might have felt pressured into it but you still made the decision yourself. Its not her fault at all.

But you simply need to find someone who feels the same as you in your values and perspectives on stuff like this. Thats all there is to it. Wait till you find someone who shares your views.

Much <3. --Zach

[CAM]

maybe you're a lesbian?

LOL !!!

The original post reminds me of "Dr. Strangelove" where General Ripper is telling Mandrake how he wants to maintain is purity of essence and not give it to women!!! (I'm still laughing)

Sex is sex. One gets tired of sex unless it was someone who looks like Misombra (I was told in another thread that Misombra looks like my dream woman).

[anachronistic]

Why did you let her manipulate you into doing something you didn't want to do? Take a stand. Be strong. Don't let women walk all over you. Next time, you decide. You will once again fall in love, and when you do, try my advice.

Save it for when you want. Don't let any woman manipulate you into something like that. When YOU feel the time is right, and feel the perfect moment, you will want it. Don't worry about it.

[Gigabitch]

Who said sex is sex? Whoever it was was RIGHT. The first time was only the first time.

Yes, you can have amazing sex. Mindblowing, soul-touching, stellar sex. The kind of sex where you're absolutely sure God is watching and approves.

But it's still sex. And you're not getting any better at it at the rate you're going.

[Junket]

Whatever.

In the end.

This guy's a pussy.

[CAM]

Who said sex is sex? Whoever it was was RIGHT. The first time was only the first time.

Yes, you can have amazing sex. Mindblowing, soul-touching, stellar sex. The kind of sex where you're absolutely sure God is watching and approves.

But it's still sex. And you're not getting any better at it at the rate you're going.

It was me, giga. I was the one who said "sex is sex."

I agree with the rest of your post. Mind-blowing sex usually does involve something deeper than just sex. The woman with whom I had the most amazing sex...there were parallels in our lives and in our responses to things...we knew each other's minds and bodies and our level of trust and sensitivity to one another was truly amazing. It wasn't love, it was an unbelievable level of trust, however.

Result: absolutely amazing sex sessions that would find us in bed together for 6+ hours at a time.

[misombra]

LOL !!!

The original post reminds me of "Dr. Strangelove" where General Ripper is telling Mandrake how he wants to maintain is purity of essence and not give it to women!!! (I'm still laughing)

Sex is sex. One gets tired of sex unless it was someone who looks like Misombra (I was told in another thread that Misombra looks like my dream woman).

i'm every man's dream woman so, go ahead and step in line.

lol jk. that's sweet.

[anachronistic]

i'm every man's dream woman so, go ahead and step in line.

lol jk. that's sweet.

Can I see a picture?