excitement in sex! please help!

[P1kaboo]

Ok so when it comes to sex, I like to experiment but my boyfriend is pretty conservative. I feel really awkward talking to him about all this. When I met him, he was not even open to oral sex, well on him anyway, he felt that it was derogatory to a girl to ask for a blow job. I did not feel this way, and eventually convinced him, and now he loves it (duh!). But even today he never asks me to go down on him unless I offer. He does enjoy going down on me though, and as far as sex it is generally limited to basic positions.
I would like more foreplay, I dunno whipped cream, chocolate, role play, sexy lingerie, heck even candels will do. Now there are limitation we both live with our parents, however his parents are never around, so it's not too bad.

I dunno how to suggest these things to him, it's been two years and this is something I'm still afraid to talk about. I would really appreciate it if you guys could gimme an idea of how to approach him, and other things we can do that are not too out there.
Thanks!

[Gribble]

He's a total lost cause. Ditch him! Kick him to the curb and don't look back!!

Oh.... by the way, think I could get them digits?

[vashti]

Combined with your previous thread, I am getting the impression you are hooked up with a somewhat passive, gentle kind of guy. These types would not be likely to ask you to do anything more than what is standard, either in bed or in any other area of your life. Therefore, if you really want another type of sex, you will probably have to initiate it yourself.

Are you sure this guy is the right type for you? I mean, I would bet any amount of money he is a sweet, kind, considerate guy who loves you to death, but you are hostile to him and seem to want a more aggressive-type of guy in the bedroom. You might want to consider whether or not this guy represents the polar opposite of your abusive ex-boyfriend, and whether or not you might be happier with someone who represents neither extreme :

old boyfriend ---------------> ideal guy -------------------> new boyfriend

[P1kaboo]

Gribble...NO! but nice try

Vashti, well you definitely have his personality down, but see, while he is all that, I think it's partly because of his upbringing. I woudl like a guy who si slightly more aggressive in the bedroom, but I have seen him that way a few times. The only thing is I need to initiate it
We are not unhappy in anyway, I mean I enjoy sex a lot, I just wish we could add more to it, and we are also emotionally satisfied with each other. I told him once if we could try something new, and he's like well what do you wanna do and I dunno I couldn't bring myself to tell him
But I guess I will take your advice and find a way to initiate it.

[Gigabitch]

I thought you were going to break up with him anyway. Did I mis-read that yesterday?

[The Great OV!!!]

Combined with your previous thread, I am getting the impression you are hooked up with a somewhat passive, gentle kind of guy. These types would not be likely to ask you to do anything more than what is standard, either in bed or in any other area of your life. Therefore, if you really want another type of sex, you will probably have to initiate it yourself.

Are you sure this guy is the right type for you? I mean, I would bet any amount of money he is a sweet, kind, considerate guy who loves you to death, but you are hostile to him and seem to want a more aggressive-type of guy in the bedroom. You might want to consider whether or not this guy represents the polar opposite of your abusive ex-boyfriend, and whether or not you might be happier with someone who represents neither extreme :

old boyfriend ---------------> ideal guy -------------------> new boyfriend

Oh yea, sure. A guy can be perfect but a bit shy about the things he does and you can dump him...but when a guy ditches a girl cause she is not the hot he needs then he is shallow. She said her other relationship was emotionally abusive and not physically so ...yea. That is terrible, breaking up with someone for this stupid ass reason...

If you are going to leave him then TALK TO HIM FIRST...or just demand rough sex...Jesus **** it is not that hard.

[P1kaboo]

Giga, as you now know i did not mean that I wanna break up with him.

OV...I will talk to him! I love this guy there will be no break up.

LOL at least that is clarified.

[Gigabitch]

Oops- I was wrong. I just read the other thread- she's not planning to leave him.

P1ka- is it that you want him to initiate these things and he doesn't or that he's not even willing to participate when you do? Could be the guy's got secret passions locked up within him and you have only to find the key.

I know I've been drastically different in bed with different guys- my ex-husband was very pedestrian, so it was nothing too wacky, but all I need is a little encouragement to do different things. Maybe he's the same.

btw, wearing extremely sexy lingerie under your everyday clothes is really a thrill, even if only you know about it. You should try it.

[vashti]

Oh yea, sure. A guy can be perfect but a bit shy about the things he does and you can dump him...but when a guy ditches a girl cause she is not the hot he needs then he is shallow.

I don't think anyone should "settle" when they are dating. That is the best chance you will ever get to pursue exactly what you want. Anyway, I didn't tell her to dump him - I just said she should consider whether or not this is *really* what she needs, and I didn't say he is a bad guy - I am merely pointing out that one shouldn't expect a bunny rabbit to act like a pit bull, because they never will.

Funny, but people often learn to hate the things they loved about a person in the beginning because they outgrow their need for that quality. Is it possible that this is one of those qualities?

[The Great OV!!!]

I don't think anyone should "settle" when they are dating. That is the best chance you will ever get to pursue exactly what you want. Anyway, I didn't tell her to dump him - I just said she should consider whether or not this is *really* what she needs, and I didn't say he is a bad guy - I am merely pointing out that one shouldn't expect a bunny rabbit to act like a pit bull, because they never will.

Funny, but people often learn to hate the things they loved about a person in the beginning because they outgrow their need for that quality. Is it possible that this is one of those qualities?

I know, but this isn't like she is upset with his sexual looks...just that he is not doing everything she wants...this could be two reasons.

1.) He doesn't know she wants that.
2.) He is to shy to ask.

Both are solved by talking to him.

[kloe-lucy]

oHH thats gotta kinda suck loL.. but id just throw A few things out ther or try watching porn 2getha then say i reckon we could do that!! see how he reacts..

[love2loveu]

Ok so when it comes to sex, I like to experiment but my boyfriend is pretty conservative. I feel really awkward talking to him about all this. When I met him, he was not even open to oral sex, well on him anyway, he felt that it was derogatory to a girl to ask for a blow job. I did not feel this way, and eventually convinced him, and now he loves it (duh!). But even today he never asks me to go down on him unless I offer. He does enjoy going down on me though, and as far as sex it is generally limited to basic positions.
I would like more foreplay, I dunno whipped cream, chocolate, role play, sexy lingerie, heck even candels will do. Now there are limitation we both live with our parents, however his parents are never around, so it's not too bad.

I dunno how to suggest these things to him, it's been two years and this is something I'm still afraid to talk about. I would really appreciate it if you guys could gimme an idea of how to approach him, and other things we can do that are not too out there.
Thanks!

Sweety, try being the dominant one! Tell your guy what you want, and how you want to do it. If youre a bit shy, like me, just take a breath, and tell him how you feel and what you want. Talking helps!

[love2loveu]

Oops- I was wrong. I just read the other thread- she's not planning to leave him.

P1ka- is it that you want him to initiate these things and he doesn't or that he's not even willing to participate when you do? Could be the guy's got secret passions locked up within him and you have only to find the key.

I know I've been drastically different in bed with different guys- my ex-husband was very pedestrian, so it was nothing too wacky, but all I need is a little encouragement to do different things. Maybe he's the same.

btw, wearing extremely sexy lingerie under your everyday clothes is really a thrill, even if only you know about it. You should try it.

I agree with the Lingerie issue, there is nothing, NOTHING sexier than knowing your girl is dressed like a pretty, feminine, sex princess in her underwear!