Ok ladies... another one for ya.

[LuvSickStagger]

Alright, so I have this friend who I've had a bit of an interest in since I met her. We've known each other for almost a year. She's absolutely gorgeous and she's 5 years older than me, which I don't view as a problem. We have lots in common.
Lately, we've been sending myspace messages back and forth every day. We're planning on going skiing together this weekend, which will be the first time we've really hung out without being at the bar or without other people around.
Here's the problem. A little over 3 months ago, she broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years. They have 2 kids together. I know she was pretty torn up about this for a while. I want to let her know I'm interested but I don't want to come on too strong.
I understand she's not really in a position to get involved with anyone seriously at the moment. Also, if something does happen, I don't want to be just another rebound.
Just want to let her know I would totally be into being "more than friends" whenever she's ready.
How do I approach this situation?

[Gigabitch]

Straightforwardly. Tell her what you just told us, especially the part about being concerned about being the rebound guy. It may not get you where you want to go, but it might stop you from ending up kicked to the curb.

I just got divorced last winter. It was nice to have support. One of my friends eventually became my current boyfriend, so believe me, it is possible.

Some advice:
1. Take it slow. In fact, think about slow and slow it down even more.
2. Be cautious about the kids. If they get upset and confused, so will she. Don't jump right in to the role of "Uncle Luvsick".
3. Offer her FUN. That girl needs some damned fun if she just got divorced. Skiing is a great idea.
4. Don't waffle. If you're at all unsure about anything, keep it to yourself until you have it all figured out. She needs structure, not challenge.

[lamarthe]

Yes as Giga says, take it slow. You've written your post very nicely and one can feel the tenderness and the caring tone of it. Perhaps she could just read it as you said it all best in your post. And then just take it slowly from there.

[LuvSickStagger]

. Perhaps she could just read it as you said it all best in your post.

Ha! I don't know if referring her to an internet post is the best idea.
I'll post more about this after this weekend. Best thing about a ski date (I've had lots of them) is that you don't have to really talk TOO much. Only when you're
on the lift.

Giga - you give some good advice, I'll have to buy you a drink sometime.

[Gigabitch]

Giga - you give some good advice, I'll have to buy you a drink sometime.

Who knows? Maybe you already have! This is a tiny town.

[misombra]

wow. another new mexicoan.

[Gigabitch]

We're representing a significant percentage of the population here, aren't we?

Hey, Misombra- why don't you come up here sometime and we'll go sing karaoke at the Cowgirl with Luvsick and tell his new girlfriend how wonderful he is? Margaritas will be had by all.

[misombra]

hey my friend just got stood up for a date at that place aaaaahahaha what a freakin loser. jk

anyway that sounds fun.

[Gigabitch]

hey my friend just got stood up for a date at that place aaaaahahaha what a freakin loser. jk

That sucks! Damn, people in Santa Fe can be so rude. Standing someone up is unacceptably bad behavior.

[LuvSickStagger]

That sucks! Damn, people in Santa Fe can be so rude. Standing someone up is unacceptably bad behavior.

How true. I got stood up for a date at the Cowgirl once too. Like 2 years ago. Found out later that she was pretty insane, so I guess I got lucky, lol.

Just got back from skiing. Things went pretty well. I didn't really say anything about being interested, but I think she already knows. I did drop a couple hints and her responses were pretty positive.
She's just learning how to snowboard and she wasn't very good at it. She told me she was expecting me to ditch her and go off and ski where I wanted to. Instead I stuck by her and did the same easy run all day. I gave her a bit of advice as well, which seemed to help. I'm not a snowboarder, but I worked in the ski industry for 9 years and have got some experience. I also picked on her a little bit (in good fun) for making me wait... she seemed to think it was funny, especially because I didn't ditch her.
Found out she's already been through the rebound. She said it was an awful experience and she's over the stupid "hooking up" thing.
We got a drink afterwards and she dropped me off at home. Made plans to have lunch soon.
I think this is going pretty well. Even if things don't go as I wish, I've made an even better friend. Turns out we have even more in common than I originally thought.
Any thoughts?

[misombra]

yeah, don't **** it up.

[Gigabitch]

Found out she's already been through the rebound. She said it was an awful experience and she's over the stupid "hooking up" thing.
We got a drink afterwards and she dropped me off at home. Made plans to have lunch soon.

This is very good news.

[clynn]

Good news!

Sounds promising.........

[LuvSickStagger]

I know this has probably been asked about 100 times, but...

How do you ladies feel about a younger guy?

[misombra]

like, how much younger?