New to dating

[mostly blushing]

Just wondering if anyone can help?

I'm new to dating (broke up with ex 4 months ago).

I went on a date recently and now I'm wondering, what am I meant to do? Should I be calling this guy to say hello, or just wait for him to call me? Or would that be playing TOO hard to get?

Thanks in advance for your time!

[IceQueen]

Well, did you like the guy?

[hysteria]

yeh tell us if u like him or not then we can help u with ur answer

[mostly blushing]

sorry, yeh I do like him.

[hysteria]

yeh well if u like him i say get out there and give him a call. Theres no holdingback. This guy could really change ur life so i say u should take every chance u get!!

[hallanole]

what happened the last date? everything go off well? was there any mention of "i'll call you" or something?

if you guys hit it off real well and there was some kind of bond then i would say yeah call him.

[mostly blushing]

Well he rang me last night! So I'm meeting up with him Friday night now. yay!

another thing though, he told me he smokes the other night. (i hate smoking) and although he didn't smoke during the date etc, he's going to smoke in front of me one day and it's a REALLY big turnoff... what can i do?

[sfalexi]

Don't try to change him unless you're DEEP in the relationship. I am a non-smoker and personally would prefer to date a non-smoker as well, but if someone came along that smoked but was a great catch I woudln't let it stop me. See if he's really worth looking into for a relationship before you even bring up the smoking issue. Meaning see if he's a worthy guy. For all you know he might turn out to be a loser in which case the smoking doesn't matter anyway.

If, down the road you find out he's really worthy, I'm sure if he's really into you he'll try quitting for you. I haven't met a couple yet in which one didn't quit smoking even if their partner didn't want them too.

Alexi

[mostly blushing]

Ok Alexi, you are right about the smoking thing.

I don't know if he's worth it yet, it'll take a while i guess

[IceQueen]

Don't try to change him unless you're DEEP in the relationship.

Haha, for me it's the other way around. "Don't try to get into a relationship with him if you want to change him."

[Mr.]

woh at first i thought u were my g/f then i saw u were from Australia, ya if hes a smoker, try to talk to him about it, my last g/f said as long as i dont smoke around her we'd be together and i was very commited to that so i dint smoke(but is he smokin weed or cigarettes cuz it makes a huge difference) and so we were happy for a while, but then when we broke up i met my new g/f and shes pretty uncomfortable with it and so once i noticed her not liking it ive immedietly stopped, so good luck anyway

[sfalexi]

Haha, for me it's the other way around. "Don't try to get into a relationship with him if you want to change him."

Icequeen, EVERYONE needs a little tweaking to become your perfect person. It's just a matter of how much "tweaking" you want to try to do.

In my eyes, there's the ultra easy tweaking (ie. I really like how you did your hair that day. Do that more often please.), the harder tweaking (ie. you have to cut your mom loose. Don't call her every day for an hour. Spend less time with her and stop being a momma's boy), and the tweaking that you really shouldn't go near, although many girls still tend to think THEY can cure it (ie. I know you really love cocaine, but stop doing it please? For me?)

[IceQueen]

Icequeen, EVERYONE needs a little tweaking to become your perfect person.

If you want to tweak someone it should be yourself, in the acceptance department.

I personally want to be loved and accepted for what I am. Otherwise there will be resentment. I don't want resentment in my relationships, you?

[sfalexi]

You mean you'd rather just learn to deal with annoying stuff than see if you can change it so it's doesn't annoy you anymore?

For instance, lets say your boyfriend has a bad habit of saying "Mother ****er" a lot around you. And you find that particular phrase offensive. You'd rather learn to deal with it than ask him to stop saying it and change his bad habit?

In my eyes, relationships are not only about learning to deal with things, but they are more about "compromises". Sacrifice one thing or other for the good of the relationship.

Alexi

[IceQueen]

No, I mean that the small stuff you just let go, and if there's something that *really* annoys you, you shouldn't be with that person in the first place.

Asking a person not to say mother****er is not "trying to change" him. It's not part of his essence.

Sacrifice one thing or other for the good of the relationship.

Pointless, if the relationship doesn't make *me* feel good.