Not putting up with it anymore

[WitsEnd]

Hi there,

I have been going out with my partner for about 4 years now, two of these we have been engaged for.

It has come to the time now where due to things that have went on between us that i no longer want to be together with her and it is time for me begin a new time in my life. The relationship has been strained for a while now due to many things and i just do not want to put up with it anymore.

Last night was the last straw. We have just booked a very expensive holiday together and i do not even care about that now, i have just had enough of everything. I have not spoken to her all day.

I suppose i see an end coming, but i just do not know how to approach it i have never ended a relationship with anyone before.

Advice please.....?

Thanks,
Wits

[bluesummer]

Chances are, if the relationship is 'strained' then your partner is probably feeling it too and also has some things to say. Someone has to be the one to initiate the conversation, and I suggest that you get on that. Dragging this out any longer is not of benefit of either to you......you're just going to have to be honest and tell her how you feel.

Oh, and don't let this 'expensive holiday' be a factor in your decision. You may have to cut your losses on that one.

[WitsEnd]

Thanks for that. No problem cutting my losses on that.

She has not made any mention, how do i start talking about it / approach the subject and remain strong throughout?

[bluesummer]

You know, unfortunately you're just going to have to do the dreaded cliche "We need to sit down and have a talk........." She'll probably know exactly where its going.

As for the strength bit.....thats always the hardest and it really depends on you, personally. Just continue to remind yourself of the reasons WHY this relationship isn't working for you. You are unhappy, and you don't deserve to be that way. There are going to be times when you'll think "Why am I doing this?" and want to reconsider. But the bottom line is if you're so unhappy in your relationship that you "can't take it anymore" then you need to suck up that hurt and push through it. It is awful, and you are going to experience a lot of pain and doubt your decision, but it ALWAYS ALWAYS works out in the end. I promise. Many people on here will tell you the same thing.

[WitsEnd]

I'm scared to do it but i KNOW that i have to!

The way to do it is what is stopping me and plus i do not have the guts!

[Converse]

Go on the holiday first lol.

[Gigabitch]

Be gentle but firm- dragging it out over three days isn't going to help either of you. Tie up your loose ends first (i.e. if you have any stuff over at her place, get it out), then tell her how it is and stick to your guns.