Love knows no logic

[Gribble]

Love is what you make of it. You can go into a relationship with your heart on your sleeve, bare your emotions and your vulnerabilities, and suffer the consequences. Or you can take it easy. Keep your emotions reined, stay level-headed and rational. Enjoy yourself without going all out.

[LoveTwist]

Love is what you make of it. You can go into a relationship with your heart on your sleeve, bare your emotions and your vulnerabilities, and suffer the consequences. Or you can take it easy. Keep your emotions reined, stay level-headed and rational. Enjoy yourself without going all out. That's just asking for trouble.

Yeah, I went for the first option... BUT... I seemed to go to the extreme...

I don't think I could enter a relationship without those 'needy' irrational, distrubing behaviours creeping in. Thats what scares/worries me.

[Gribble]

Then you'll just have to learn the hard way. Get your heart broken enough times and you'll quit exposing yourself so fully. I think that's still better than missing out, though.

[LoveTwist]

Then you'll just have to learn the hard way. Get your heart broken enough times and you'll quit exposing yourself so fully. I think that's still better than missing out, though.

Better to have loved and losed and all that hey? *Sighs* maybe you're right...guess only time will tell...

[Junket]

Assume you mean, 'to avoid what you fear is illogical'??...

I say what I mean, and mean what I say, I do not speak in grammatical errors or misspellings. Don't assume otherwise.

Vash: I was simply stating what is. I wasn't giving him advice on what I think he should do. He doesn't need me to tell him either.

Back to Lovetwist: In my honest opinion, I do not believe it is better to have loved and lost, because in the end, you've gained nothing but loss.

Once you take the plunge however, there's no going back.

Ever.

[LoveTwist]

I say what I mean, and mean what I say, I do not speak in grammatical errors or misspellings. Don't assume otherwise.

Vash: I was simply stating what is. I wasn't giving him advice on what I think he should do. He doesn't need me to tell him either.

Back to Lovetwist: In my honest opinion, I do not believe it is better to have loved and lost, because in the end, you've gained nothing but loss.

Once you take the plunge however, there's no going back.

Ever.

Cool, you're in agreement with me then. Sorry for assuming otherwise. Its so rarely people agree with me I kinda automatically assume that they're not. Its wrong I know. I appologise. Its kinda my belief that its not better to have loved and lossed too, but you're right, once you've been there, done that and brought the T-shirt, you can't go back. Loss never leaves. But it can accumulate if you keep putting yourself in the line of fire. Thats what I've found anyway.

[Gigabitch]

I generally think it is wiser to not allow your heart to rule over your mind because your heart will double-cross you.

On the other hand, your mind can double-cross you as well. You can think yourself into a trap. I'm a Reborn Romantic. I think you need mad love to see yourself through a serious relationship.

What is it about intimacy that you fear, LT?

[Junket]

I think Vashti has the luxury of being so analytical now that she's settled down.

[LoveTwist]

On the other hand, your mind can double-cross you as well. You can think yourself into a trap. I'm a Reborn Romantic. I think you need mad love to see yourself through a serious relationship.

What is it about intimacy that you fear, LT?

*Sighs* I honestly don't really know Giga. Sometimes I can all but convince myself that I'm asexual and have no desire for sex at all. Other times I wonder what it might be like and whether I'm denying myself something before even experiencing it.

On the relationship front though, I have experienced the ‘darker’ side of it, and it’s not pretty. Mainly I’m worried that I have this ‘Jekyll and Hide’ personality thing going on... because both times I’ve been in a relationship, and every time I get close to being in a relationship... its like my whole personality shifts.
I’ve always been the very shy (social phobic almost) type of person and I'm almost certain this is inextricably linked to my fear of intimacy and relationships... I have a hard time sharing my true self with other people and its almost like I put up a disguise personality so that if someone doesn’t like me then I can say to myself, 'Huh...its ok... its not really me they don’t like its just the ‘fake’ me.' Completely crazy I know.

I really have no idea what’s the matter with me because I’d love to have someone I could really connect with. My ex bf, didn’t really help me much with any of this because he had problems himself. Anyway its not his problem its mine. People always say if something’s wrong in a relationship then you should always look to change yourself because you can't change anyone else. The thing is I just don't know if there's any hope for me or not.
I've gone to the asexual website on and off and I always feel I can really relate to the things people say on there.... I'm still trying to figure out if I am truly asexual, but even if I am, asexual people still have relationships and it seems like I may have a problem with even that.

I guess talking about things on here has just been a chance for me to really think about everything which is good... But I know its like trying to untangle the knots in yoyo string trying to come up with solutions or advice...

Thanks for all the ideas though, it helps to look at things from different angles.

[Only-virgins]

to long.

_______________

[LoveTwist]

to long.

_______________

Thanks for not reading. Really. I'm not being sarcastic. Thinking of deleting this post soon anyways.

[Junket]

Try not to apply a label to what or who you are.

This will only condition you to live up to and confine yourself to that label.

[LoveTwist]

Try not to apply a label to what or who you are.

This will only condition you to live up to and confine yourself to that label.

Yeah thats good advice. Thanks.

You're right, labels don't really apply anyway because everyone is different, maybe I'm just more different than most.

[vashti]

I think Vashti has the luxury of being so analytical now that she's settled down.

Nah, I became this way after one REALLY rotten boyfriend and by watching my sisters navigate their relationships.

[Gigabitch]

IMO, fear of intimacy is about fear of loss, fear of rejection. I could be totally wrong about that, but I think it's a very strong part of our nature to want to connect with others.

Do you have trouble connecting emotionally with others or is it just the physical aspect of relationships that freaks you out?