would you smack your children?

[LostNotFound]

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[Gigabitch]

Hell no. I don't want to teach her to be afraid of me, or to be a smacker.

[vashti]

I can't imagine a scenario in which smacking a child is an appropriate response. Maybe there IS one, but I can't think of it.

[anachronistic]

As a child, I was physically abused. I was beat and punished all through elementary school. It stopped when I was a freshman in high school; I had learned fighting techniques from being on the wrestling team. One night my mom's boyfriend tried to hit me and I laid the smackdown on his ass.

One of my best friends was also abused. He was abused a lot worse than I was, and more often, too. When he was four years old, his father kicked him in the stomach really hard, like a football (he propelled into the wall) causing him to bleed internally. He almost died that night. He lived, though. Today, he is in bad shape. He is 300 lbs overweight, and that is the only thing protecting the permanently damaged muscle layer that his father destroyed. He also has intestinal issues, and loses control all the time. He has a big mark in his stomach that he always has to look at that reminds him of it. Kids make fun of him at school, and not just teasing, he gets called fatass by everyone, and people always tell him he smells like shit, and so on. There is nothing he can do, even with today's modern technology.

Hitting a child is unacceptable. There are other ways to punish your children, than smacking them. Your child could end up like me, with big insecurity and trust issues, and a severe loss of temper. Don't do it. Be a better parent.

[Ellynn]

Smacking I'm against. But a spanking is another story. I think thats the problem with the kids of parents who refuse to spank their kids when they are young. They(the kids) walk all over them and have no fear of their actions and the consequences from little on.
I got spankings and I even got the belt once. I deserved it though and I knew in the future to try my best NOT to piss off my dad.

I agree that fearing your parents isn't the best thing. But there has to be that sense of fear of doing the wrong thing and them finding out about it. That alone has stopped me from doing a lot of stupid things.

[Steve2004]

i was never hit by my dad...but he is a terrifying man when he yells. So..that pretty much kept me in check. I'm not a fan of parents that hit their kids...so i would never. It's just not right.

[vashti]

I didn't spank my kids, and they are really good kids, and always have been. They behave because it is the right thing to do - NOT because they are afraid of me.

I used to think like you, Ellynn, but I don't think that way anymore. It is possible to discipline without hitting. I tend to think of spanking as the lazy person's way of controlling their children, and if not laziness, then certainly people who are utterly lacking in the ability to think more creatively.

[Ellynn]

I didn't spank my kids, and they are really good kids, and always have been. They behave because it is the right thing to do - NOT because they are afraid of me.

I used to think like you, Ellynn, but I don't think that way anymore. It is possible to discipline without hitting. I tend to think of spanking as the lazy person's way of controlling their children, and if not laziness, then certainly people who are utterly lacking in the ability to think more creatively.

You do have a point Vashti. For me, my parents way of discipline worked. But for others, it doesn't. My friend threatens to spank her daughter and her daughter actually says "come on, spank me again, I don't care." This is from a 7 yr olds mouth! So that type of discipline doesn't always work either. I guess you were lucky to have kids who behave. But there are a lot of kids out there that almost need a good smack!

[DoesntMatter]

One of my best friends was also abused. He was abused a lot worse than I was, and more often, too. When he was four years old, his father kicked him in the stomach really hard, like a football (he propelled into the wall) causing him to bleed internally. He almost died that night. He lived, though. Today, he is in bad shape. He is 300 lbs overweight, and that is the only thing protecting the permanently damaged muscle layer that his father destroyed. He also has intestinal issues, and loses control all the time. He has a big mark in his stomach that he always has to look at that reminds him of it. Kids make fun of him at school, and not just teasing, he gets called fatass by everyone, and people always tell him he smells like shit, and so on. There is nothing he can do, even with today's modern technology.

****ing horrible. Nobody called the cops or contacted child protective services? That's wack as hell

I tend to think of spanking as the lazy person's way of controlling their children, and if not laziness, then certainly people who are utterly lacking in the ability to think more creatively.

I agree. Spanking seems to be used by parents who are too lazy to take the effort to raise their children properly. And then physical abuse seems to be used by sadistic cowards taking out their anger on the weak.

As for me, I'm at least another 8 - 10 years away from kids. But I couldn't ever see myself hitting a kid.

[anachronistic]

****ing horrible. Nobody called the cops or contacted child protective services? That's wack as hell

no. his mom is a burn-out piky. he was in the hospital for several months after that. his dad was thrown in jail, and i think he's still there. not sure, i don't like to bring it up with my friend, he always breaks down and cries about it. i think his mom is still paying off the medical bill.

after that incident, they had no house and lived in a car, while eating out of dumpsters. they were real pikies. eventually they came back here, which is where his mom is from. they lived with his grandma until he turned about 16, when i moved here. that's how we became best friends. his mom since then has found a nice guy for a boyfriend. he is really a nice guy. i think my friend enjoys him. i'm really happy for him.

[zro]

i am not a parent, but coming from someone who get regularly smacked as a kid, i think it is necessary to instill some discipline and authority, i was a really ****ing annoying kid (running around with BB guns, no consideration for others) and the only thing that put me in my place was a good wack from a belt buckle around the head, whenever i would contemplate doing something stupid the only thing i thought about was the beating i was going to get if i got caught, i am glad that my dad did that as it taught me about boundaries and things i can and cant do

[DoesntMatter]

i am not a parent, but coming from someone who get regularly smacked as a kid, i think it is necessary to instill some discipline and authority, i was a really ****ing annoying kid (running around with BB guns, no consideration for others) and the only thing that put me in my place was a good wack from a belt buckle around the head, whenever i would contemplate doing something stupid the only thing i thought about was the beating i was going to get if i got caught, i am glad that my dad did that as it taught me about boundaries and things i can and cant do

I guess it is necessary sometimes, if you were a little crazy kid like zro apparently was But nothing more than what is necessary.

My mom has never hit me, my dad hit me a couple of times but I deserved it.

One time I snuck on him from behind while he was exercising and scared the living shit out of him, he turned around and tried to knock me down but missed

[vashti]

the only thing that put me in my place was a good wack from a belt buckle around the head,

Good god, I hope that was a joke. If my husband did that to my kid, I'd call the cops and have him arrested, and then I would call a lawyer and file for divorce. Whacking a kid in the head with a belt buckle is *clearly* child abuse.

[zro]

i wasnt joking vashti, but the thing is that i deserved it - in my opinion its not child abuse if the beating is warranted, i dont hold any of that against my dad, he is a caring and loving father who was only trying to make me a better person and to be honest it worked, because the only thing that would convince me from doing something stupid in my younger years was a beating

[vashti]

i wasnt joking vashti, but the thing is that i deserved it -

That makes me really sad to read. You must be a really good son.