Confused and Hesitant

[Aes]

First post, hello all... sorry about the length and lack of organization...

So I met a girl a few months ago that I've grown increasingly closer to basically every day. We hang out pretty much every day, usually just me and her. I've had a crush on her for a good 6-7 months, but it obviously intensified as I got to know her more.

It seems to me like she might feel something for me but I get very confused because English is not her first language, although she speaks it pretty well, and she is a very shy girl. She is originally from Colombia but has lived in the US for about 8 years. Most of her friends do not speak English and I am basically her first consistent American friend. I'm not sure if she wants to say something to me but doesn't pick up on my feelings for her because of a slight difference in culture. She is a pretty traditional person, so I'm thinking possibly she might be waiting for me to say something seeing as I am the guy...

She doesn't really talk to anyone at my University the way she does to me... but whenever we hang out and I sit down on the couch, she usually sits on another chair next to the couch... which leads me to think that she is trying to keep a little distance.

I really want to tell her how I feel, but I'm afraid of her getting freaked out by it. Problem is, I can't stop thinking about her... at least if I got denied I would be able to move on, but I can't help thinking 'what if?' at every second of the day.

Anyone have any advice/input? Thanks..

[Steve2004]

if she knows english..best way to do it is talk to her about it. I'm pretty sure she's not going to get weirded out by you just asking her what she feels for you. Or if you dont want to confront her with words..when she tries moving to another chair while you're on the couch..just tell her there's a lot of room on the couch..and to sit next to you. baby steps.

[Gigabitch]

If she's a very traditional girl, sitting next to you on the couch may seem a bit too familiar. She's probably heard about American boys and how they'll all try to get in your pants (and you must admit that, for the most part, this is true). If that's what she's worried about, you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you're really interested in a college girl who might not ever go to bed with you.

If that's a dealbreaker, you should do both of you a favor and give it up.

[Aes]

Did I mention sex at all?

[artyemi]

You should just say something to her. Why not?

[Gigabitch]

Did I mention sex at all?

You're in college. If you're not interested in sex, you should post that immediately, because it's very unusual and could have a lot of bearing on your situation.

[Aes]

Yeah, it does not have a bearing on my relationship with her.

[Gigabitch]

Well, does she know that? If I were her, I would assume that you might try it, being a young, male American who is obviously interested in her. Are you part of a religious group that might make your intentions more clear?

Is there some way, maybe through a mutual friend, that you could express how honorable your intentions are?

[Aes]

I'm agnostic actually... Yeah there's a few mutual friends, but it would be a pretty high school move.

[IndiReloaded]

I've known a few ppl from Colombia & visited there. I noticed they have a certain dignity to them regarding personal space w/ppl who aren't direct family. I'm generalizing, of course, but I would guess she likes you but is just maintaining a certain amount of that distance. I think if you let her know gradually & increasingly subtly that you like her, you'll find out soon if she feels the same about you.

You might ask her about how ppl in her country show that they like someone. Demonstrates an interest in her culture as well as a not too subtle msg that you also like her. Just a thought.

[Jimmy1218]

omfg...your general question "whether you should tell her" has been answered like 100 times in LF. JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. Seriously, read some posts before you start a thread.

[Aes]

I've known a few ppl from Colombia & visited there. I noticed they have a certain dignity to them regarding personal space w/ppl who aren't direct family. I'm generalizing, of course, but I would guess she likes you but is just maintaining a certain amount of that distance. I think if you let her know gradually & increasingly subtly that you like her, you'll find out soon if she feels the same about you.

You might ask her about how ppl in her country show that they like someone. Demonstrates an interest in her culture as well as a not too subtle msg that you also like her. Just a thought.

Thank you.

And, the genius, Jimmy, did you even read the question? I'm not that stupid to ask a question that everyone knows has been asked every minute of every day for all of time. The point was the difference in culture..

[Jimmy1218]

Yup, I'm the genius. Now back to your response...yeah, i agree, but just saying that the general answer for "whether you should tell her or not" is just tell her how you feel. But expect rejection though.

[19ntgf]

Oh my god. Ok. Is your name Matt? @ Aes

[Aes]

Nope, sorry.