Sex Withdrawal

[mr_fahrenheit]

Since me and my girlfriend split up nearly a week ago I've been kind of torn up... but not 'cos I miss her...so much as... 'cos I miss the sex.

Wow that sounds really horrible, and shallow.
I'm not, honestly!

But she was kinda mean.. and I don't really gel with mean people. But.. the sex ... was so good.

And now...

.. no sex for Mr F.


Aaarrrghhh.

All I can think about is sex with her....

When I'm at work.. when I'm in the shower... when I'm in bed... especially when I'm in bed.
When I'm out walking the dog.
When I'm on the phone.... basically all the time.

It's really annoying. I just wanna pretend I want to go back out with her again for like one evening so I can shag her again!
(Don't worry I won't, that would be cruel).

How long do u reckon it will last?
(The sex withdrawal feelings I mean.. not the actual sex lol).

I've felt similar before... but nothing this bad!

I'm really horny .. for her.

[Gigabitch]

Mr. F, you need to show your wiener who's boss. The shower would be a good place for this, if you live alone. If you don't live alone, be sure to keep your voice down.

Now, tell your wiener that you need to talk to him about something serious. Do not tolerate any sass or distractions- you need his undivided attention. Say, "Wiener, that girl was mean. I had to stop having sex with her because mean girls only get meaner, and I was afraid of what she might do to you. She was already showing signs of being seriously kinky. I couldn't let it get to the point where she was asking me to slam you in the closet door just to amuse her, could I?"

Every time the wiener starts to think about her again, remind him of the closet door possibility. Soon, he will start to associate her with danger rather than pleasure.

Wieners are simple that way.

[mr_fahrenheit]

HA HA HA!!

You just made me laugh out loud!

Ahhh man.

[Gigabitch]

Your wiener is not laughing, I can assure you. Now be serious.

[maggiesxrevenge]

I am a girl and I say that it's a pretty jackass thing to say that you don't miss her but you miss the sex. however I do understand because if I were to break up with my boyfriend I would miss the sex too because it is amazing, however that would not be the only thing i would miss.

I agree with gigabitch. Go to the shower, jack off and think about the sex. That should help.

[anachronistic]

jesus christ giggity, that was hilarious!

mr. f, you should go to a party and get laid. seriously, if sex is all you're missing, why not?

[Miss hotty]

Man that would hurt. Yet again i agree with lilwing i missed having sex so i went to a party and flirted with one of the guys there and bang mad wild sex was had

[naoki322]

think of it this way, at least u wont get fat. o_O??

[Miss hotty]

WTF what are going on about or have i just entered a different time zone

[vashti]

I think the male sex drive is what motivates men to get married in their 20s, and the female sex drive is what motivates women to keep the men around in their 30s.

Not directly related to the problem at hand, I realize, but I thought I'd share.

[Gigabitch]

Wow, Aegis. It's like you've been wrestling with your own out-of-control wiener for years and have finally got the upper hand, and now you don't even know how to think for yourself any more.

Couldn't you let your wiener drive occasionally, just for old time's sake?

[vashti]

What is Aegis talking about? Did I miss a post or something?

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, he was all set to go out and get crazy this weekend, but he ended up being the designated driver, so he didn't have his Superpowers on. Sobriety is like Kryptonite to that guy.

Sounds like that girl was doing everything but drawing him a map, and he just couldn't do it.

[vashti]

Aww, Aegis. You are the shy type, huh?

[vashti]

Is anyone shy after 5 drinks? I think not. In fact, it only takes me 2 drinks to loosen up. I'm gonna drink 2 cocktails and flirt with you, Aegis.