Sexual withdrawal after breakup?

[LoveToes]

Hey girls,

Just wondering if any of you ever had this experience and how you interpreted it...

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. He is a wonderful man, but very stubborn, and it was our stubbornness that prevented a deepening of the relationship. We argued a lot; it was reasonable and almost the right thing for me to break up. We are on good terms again (we were very good friends before we dated). I know I should be glad that we are both single again in the way that it will allow us to both mature and explore relationships separately, without yelling at each other. However I feel as if I am still in love with him. It has been a week and still I cannot sleep well-- I have been having dreams about apocalyses (dramatic, I know) and I wake up feeling empty.

Most of all I miss his touch. When we were together, just being near him made me weak and in need of his embrace. Even the thought of him makes my heartbeat increase, my breath catch, my body hot. In short we had an amazing physical chemistry. And along with these thoughts are memories of us two together, in our happiest moments. We also had great intellectual chemistry as we both enjoyed the same interests. However, we were very off in terms of our emotional compatibility.

Have any of you gone through this feeling of sexual withdrawal and how did you manage to cope? Is this a phase, or should I try to give this relationship a second chance?

[Yggdrasil]

What you experience is normal.

It takes about 3 to 4 weeks for the mind to stop releasing certain bonding chemicals, which are natures way of making sure you are 'attached' to your partner. The reason the brain releases these chemicals is again natures way of making sure your offspring is being secured. I explained it a bit simple but I hope this makes sense.

One thing that's important is that during those initial 3 to 4 weeks, you have to avoid all contact with your ex. Every time you have contact, the 3 to 4 weeks start all over again.

After about 3 weeks, your brain will stop producing those chemicals and you'll start feeling better. You'll still have to deal with your thoughts, which may, or may not, live in the past. That's when you have to come to accept the relation is over and remind yourself to live in today. You'll also start seeing things a lot clearer then and that's the time to reflect on your life and your future.

It certainly helps to cry. Most important is to accept the pain, hurt, feelings of loss and loneliness as part of a healing process. Eventually you'll feel OK. Don't worry to much about this, surround yourself with good friends, try to have fun, blast some really great zippy music and dance to it, exercise,.. in other words, keep yourself busy mentally and physically. You'll get through this in no time.