Brokenhearted, I want my baby back, what do I do ?

[InLoveWithJewl]

I was with my girl for over 8 years, I love her more than anything in this world. after the first few years I started to take her for granted I thought she would always be there and I put other people before her, didn't give her the respect she deserves and didn't treat her the way she deserves to be. she never really told me I was doing this and I didn't realize it. she left me one month ago today, I was devastated it totally broke my heart and tore me apart inside.

Since that day I have tried everything I could think of, talking to her, spending money on her, spending time with her I took her on a real nice vacation we stayed in a fancy spa hotel with a Jacuzzi and did all stuff she likes to she said it was the best time of her life (had amazing sex while we were there too), yesterday I send her flowers and stuffed animals to her job, but she still don't want anything to do with me like that. I don't know what to do I cant get her off my mind all I do is think about her, I cant sleep, eat or concentrate on work I just want her back I would do anything in the world for her. were still friends we see each other all the time, it kills me not seeing her but also kills me seeing her knowing she's not mine.

Since the day she left me all I have been doing is anything and everything I can to show her she is # 1 and show her how much I love her. we have had a lot of real long talks and she knows I have changed, I wrote her letters, she has even learned a lot about me she never knew, I'm a hot rod biker kinda guy and for all these years she thought I had that mentality she didn't realize I really don't have that mentality but I'm really a very understanding loving talkative on a personal level kind of guy.

Now this guy she works with is talking to her, I happen to know his ex and I know he's a piece of shit, he treats women like garbage, has no respect, cheats, lies and is abusive I know all he really wants is a piece of ass (she isn't like that). I asked her today what he has that I don't and I was kinda shocked by the answer she said he's really hot I was like WTF???? I'm a nice guy but not so great looking so that means I don't deserve another chance?, he's trash but he's hot so she's interested in him?, I don't get it.

What do I do ? I'm totally in love with her she was my first real girlfriend and my first true love amongst other things. I would do anything for her and when I say anything I mean anything.

People have told me to just move on but when I think about moving on and finding someone new I realize what the only woman I ever loved put me through, it is the most intense pain of my life she tore my heart to pieces, I don't think I can go through that again.

[vashti]

People can rarely be friends after being lovers. I suggest you tell her how you feel, and tell her you are going to quit hanging around unless she wants to get back together. Then do it.

[Junket]

I would do anything for her and when I say anything I mean anything.

You do realize that includes letting her go and leaving her alone if she wants that, right?

[InLoveWithJewl]

I'm giving her space, I don't bring up that I want to be with her but I know she knows, as of now were just really good friends, but I want more and she knows it, its hard but I'm just trying to patiently wait it out and see where it goes, I just wish I could figure out a way to accelerate the process. oh and she tells me she loves the way I'm more atentative and do a lot more for her now and she doesn't want me to stop. GRRR women are so confusing

[Junket]

oh and she tells me she loves the way I'm more atentative and do a lot more for her now and she doesn't want me to stop. GRRR women are so confusing

No they're not.

She's treating you like a puppy dog.

You're her little bitch.

Any one of the women here will tell you that.

She knows telling you shit like that will make you wag your tail, girls don't usually like to be mean to saps like you, they don't have the heart for it, but they don't have the heart for you either.

[kalupe]

well based from what you have said... you treated her like shit for 8 long years..and when you broke up, thats only when you started being really nice to her, attentive and caring. she'd likely pick THIS more, obviously. i guess, you should just give her more time. she's probably just as confused as you are. you cant blame her, you've had her for 8 long years and she would have stayed with you if you're not doing anything wrong.

usually, the reason why girls give guys a hard time, especially after you did something wrong, is sincerity. girls hate heartbreaks too yknow, so we sometimes have to make sure you wont treat us like shit and do the same thing all over again.

that is, if she wants and considers giving you another chance. if you think she isn't interested at all, it's best to just leave her alone. i dont really think being friends with her helps because you just get reminded everytime that she's something you would never have again. and that, hurts even more.

[Gigabitch]

She'll never tire of punishing you.

You've taken your screwed-up relationship dynamic and turned it completely around, where now she treats YOU like crap. Is this better? Really? I think not.

And really, someone who wants no romantic entanglement with a guy, regardless of their past, really shouldn't have "amazing sex" with him on a vacation.

Here's the thing- she put up with being treated badly for eight years. That's a long time. Now it looks like she's found someone else who is almost guaranteed to treat her the same way. I'm not entirely sure she wants respect.

I don't know why she left you. Maybe she doesn't either. There's probably more to that story than you'll ever know.

I know you feel you didn't respect her, but what you're doing right now is disrespecting yourself, and there isn't much that's more unappealing than that.

Long story short: If she wanted to date a bitch, she'd be a lesbian.

[runtimeErr]

I have alot of comapassion for you my friend 8 year is a long time with someone. You are going to be ok.

Did you guy breakup before and get back together? Or is this the first and only breakup?

When the ball is in the other person's court we have to be very careful because what we are doing is giving the other person the ability to drag you through the mud. And by the sounds of it it looks like this is what she is doing to you, allowing you to spend all your money on her and leading you on.

Have you tried just giving her space and by giving her space I don't mean just not talking about a relationship with her, I mean cut her loose don't call her don't talk to her don't email her (this is soo F***ing hard) but maybe this will give her time to miss you and decide if she wants to come back?

[Dave4586]

Well anyways she should be with you soon. i'll tell you want wait

[Jimmy1218]

dave...why are all your posts ****? They're even worse than mine!