I have fallen in love with a girl who has a boyfriend

[YukiNoHana]

I met her at workplace. She is smart, cute and is very compatible with me. We share alot of things in common. She is like my 100% partner match. I am missing her like crazy every day.

The problem is she is seeing someone at the moment. Should I still go ahead to her and reveal my feeling to her?

[Alloutornothing]

Let me ask you a few questions.

How would you feel to be option B ?

How do you think she would feel jumping from ship a to ship b?

Do you think she could live with that? do you think you could live with that?

How would you fel 5 years down the line if you do even get that far down the road and you know that she knows that she left a to be with you.

So even if she even has feelings for you how can u test her and know its true? Rather than a rebound?

I guess you know where this is headed.

If you really like her and you feel she is the one respect her and her relationship. If things work out than its meant to be and if not so be it.

[CAM]

It is doable...women have broken up with their boyfriends and cancelled their marital engagements to go out with me. So, with mild coaxing and lots of charm, you can achieve victory in this case.

Even if she were married...today, that's just another obstacle to overcome. In most cases, marriage is a commodity like anything else...it just means that the price (for you) is higher. Hey, if Jerry Seinfeld could get a woman to divorce her husband and marry him...it is just testament to a whole series of possibilities.

There's nothing quite like stealing another guy's woman. Its good clean fun, especially if he's an idiot.

Good luck in your mission

[vashti]

In my opinion, she's not married, so she isn't *completely* taken. Tell her you'd like to date her when she dumps her boyfriend. It's okay to plant the seed.

That being said, I don't think dating or chasing a woman you work with is a good plan unless you don't mind looking for a new job if/when things go bad.

[Jimmy1218]

Not very fun for the dumped person though.

[kai]

if she leaves her bf for u then she can leave u for another guy also

[vashti]

if she leaves her bf for u then she can leave u for another guy also

This could happen whether or not she leaves her boyfriend. No one is irreplaceable.

[YukiNoHana]

This is what I know thus far. Her relationship with her current boyfriend is less than a year, not long yet not short. I have known her for 4 days only, eventhough is 4 days, we clicked immediately, is like I have known her for a long time.She is no longer my co-worker, she left the company last week's friday. In a few months time, my new home is going to be near her home about 10 minutes drive.

Actually I planned to reveal to her on last friday but thats when she dropped the bomb about her boyfriend. I acted nonchalant and keep my feelings to myself.

A week later after she left the company, I missed her. This kind of feeling is new to me. She will be my first love if I could get her. Given a choice, of course I would look for a single girl but life is never easy, always full of obstacles.

Someone is going to hurt in this 3 way relationship. Definitely its not the girl. It is going to be either her current boyfriend or me.

How should I approach this without getting her all paranoid and avoiding me?

[vashti]

If you approach her, the nature of the relationship *will* change. It will have to. It may be for the better, and it may be for the worse; you have to be willing to take a risk.

If you must say something, try to be light about it, and tell her you'd like to date her, but not while she is attached to someone else.

[Jimmy1218]

i don't think you should try to steal her from her current boyfriend. Have a heart man.

[misombra]

just stay away from girls. they're all evil.

[Marissa]

I have to admit... it doesn't feel good to "steal" someone from someone. Even though I did it unknowingly, it still sucked to find out. Not to mention that the thought's always there about whether or not they're going to jump ship with you when the next new thing comes along.

[Alloutornothing]

"Someone is going to hurt in this 3 way relationship. Definitely its not the girl. It is going to be either her current boyfriend or me."

Sorry buddy its going to be u thats going to hurt.

Your really there just as a bandaid to get her mind off things. When push comes to shove you will be the one to go. IF she wanted to leave her boyfriend she would of already.

Women like to test the waters but very few jump in.

"If you approach her, the nature of the relationship *will* change. It will have to. It may be for the better, and it may be for the worse; you have to be willing to take a risk."

I agree but most likely for the worst given the situation.

[CAM]

just stay away from girls. they're all evil.

That's not true; although when they are evil...it sure makes for more memorable dating experiences

But truthfully...in response to many concerns...geez, I'm beginning to hear a Moral Authority tone in some of these postings...its not right to take her away....someone could get hurt emotionally....do unto others, etc.... and Sunday isn't until tomorrow.

What the heck?

Know what? If she falls for you then it is because she likes you...not because you tricked her or anything. Girls aren't stupid or easily duped by others. They may dupe themselves sometimes, but if you are a guy and you think that you can put your moves on her....b.s. Guys are fools about this, thinking that they "made it happen." There's an old say, "A girl will run away just as fast as it takes her to catch the guy."

[vashti]

You all are acting like the boyfriend has ownership rights over this girl. He doesn't, and believe me, if she loves her boyfriend, nothing Yugio says or does will have any impact on that relationship at all. All yugio has to do is to remind her that she still has a choice.