Am I being insecure or should I be worried?

[Ray75]

So heres the thing. When I met my girlfriend, everything was amazing. She was so sweet and caring. Within the past week or so, the way she talks to me seems to be fading. She no longer calls me all these cute little pet names and her heart no longer explodes with her love for me. Every time I bring up these kinds of things, she instantly changes the subject.

Receintly, I found out about a friend i never knew about. A guy who she started talking to on the same singles site she met me on. She says they are just friends and like a big brother. He is going over there tonight to help her fix her dishwasher and she is going to help him with with his Transformation Of Italian Language Thesis editing. He was also there yesterday to look at her car.

Now I have not seen her in over a week because of the distance and she had a family emergency over the weekend but she is supposed to come see me thursday night. A week ago, she said she wanted to come see me as much as possible before the kids go to back to school and she cant see me as often yet this is going to be two days in a row with this new friend. She speaks so highly of this guy and said how he talks spanish to her which she has not spoke in years and its inspiring.

She also asked me if I felt weird about this guy. I said no but the more I think about it, I really do. I dont want to say anything about it because she sees insecurity as a turn off.

Now this guy has everything going for him and has an excellent job while I am poor and trying to get back on my feet. I have a lot of love to offer but I cannot speak 5 languages and stuff like him.

Should I be concerned or am I way over looking this? Also how can i talk to her about the way I feel?

[Junket]

Thaaat's a tough one.

You're right about you making any moves as a sign of your insecurity. My hope is more that she'll be upfront and honest with you if she is getting into this guy. Girls have a tendency to feel guilty about stringing two guys. I've seen it where a girl will want to break it off with her current relationship to pursue another, but doesn't have the guts to. So instead she'll make it very obvious she's no longer interested and kind of force the old boyfriend to confront her. When he does, she'll cite his inquiries as insecurity and claim he's smothering her and put the blame of their break up on him.

Girls are bitches like that.

But lets hope yours isn't.

[nuttybuddy]

Hey Ray,

I think you need to visit her more often. Especially if you feel threatened by this new guy. It's probably best that you also meet him. This way, you get to know if he's short and ugly.

[Gigabitch]

Ray, I agree with Fras about not wanting to show that he's got you worried, but I think you really should be worried. I find it hard to believe he's not making a play for her- after all, they met on a dating site, right?

There must be a reason she originally chose you. Whatever reason that is, you should try to remind her of it. Be Super-Ray for her.

[Junket]

Be Super-Ray for her.

Yeah!

Be SUPER-RAY!

EDIT: Man...that sounds so cool...I wanna be a super-ray...

[Gigabitch]

You're already pretty super in your own right. Don't get greedy, now.

[vashti]

I'd be worried, if I were you.

It sounds like he is doing a lot of the manly things for her that women appreciate. Can you do this stuff instead?

[Ray75]

Yeah!

Be SUPER-RAY!

EDIT: Man...that sounds so cool...I wanna be a super-ray...

Thanks for the confidence guys but I am sorry to say that SUPER-RAY just fell off of his horse. Now I know that is in bad taste but its exactly how I feel now.

[lovexlikexcance]

Maybe this is just easy for me to say because it's just the type of person that I am - Be honest with her. Tell her all the things you just told us. Insecurity is a turn-off for a lot of people, but if you can't talk to your lover when something is bothering you, what are they really there for? And keep in mind that while she talks very highly of this guy friend, she's still your girlfriend. They could really be nothing more than great friends. Hope that helped.