Totally Confused,

[ConfusedLover]

Hey. Long time reader, first time poster and all the jazz.

A few months ago a friend introduced me to one of his friends in a club. I thought she was cute and seemed like a cool person but thought no more of it.

We met each other a few times (mainly in passing or coincidence) and got to know each other a little better but remained solely friends. I then had to move for work (in may roughly) and we didn't really speak for quite some time. In July i thought I'd check in and see how things were and things started to develop. We ended up texting each other regularly and it eventually turned into a situation where I realised that I actually quite liked her and wanted to get to know her better.

The contact continued to the point where we were texting each other upwards of 100 times a week. At some point I mentioned that I would be returning to the city where we met for a week long period and then moving there, once again, from the end of August.

She told me that she was free during the time week i would be there and asked if i wanted to meet at some point and do something. i agreed and we continued to speak until I returned to the city for the week. I rang her and asked her if she wanted to do something that evening and she agreed. The plan was for her to come around to my place, take a look around (i was in the process of moving) and then we would figure something to do.

About an hour before she was due she text me to say she was really sorry but something had come up and she wouldnt be able to make it but that she was free tommorow evening and would I like to go to the Cinema. I figured that things happen sometimes and something genuinely came up. We agreed on a film and time for the next day.

We spoke in the morning and she still wanted to go that evening and seemed to be looking forward to it. Later a friend came round unexpectedly and i called her to let her know I'd probably been about 15 minutes later than expected but would still be able to pick her up and we would make it to the film before it started. She said that she had forgotten all about our date and had made other plans with a girlfriend.

Since then we've still been calling and texting and she seems keen but whenever i mention the 'dates' we had planned before she seems really standoff-ish and thinks that i'm annoyed with her. I wouldn't say I'm annoyed but am definitely confused being as she now says she wants to meet up when I'm in the city permanently.

I found it strange that she asked for the date but then stood me up twice. Does anybody have any idea what her thinking is and if there's anything i can do to make her more comfortable, as i sense that's what the problem is?

[vashti]

Who knows? Maybe she is involved with someone else. Have you asked the friend that introduced her to you? Maybe s/he could shed some insight as to why she is acting so psycho. Anyway, I certainly wouldn't be too keen on continuing to ask her out, nor probably even in maintaining contact. She sounds like a lot of work, and I hate being stood up.

[Gigabitch]

God, it could be anything from her having a boyfriend she neglected to tell you about to her having a huge zit on her nose that just would NOT go away when you were in town. You'll probably never know. Girls are mysterious like that. The fact that she gets her back up when you mention the dates tells me that she's feeling guilty or embarrassed about it and just wants to forget it ever happened.

Is it worth it to you to just drop the issue until later? If she does it a third time, you're dealing with a confirmed Rude Person and you should run for the hills, but right now, what have you got to lose?

[Mathias]

Play this VERY cautiously. Make sure she makes all the moves for a bit--go with her when she invites you, but you don't need to set a precedent of someone she can walk all over.

Personally, I'd be running away, but as many people here know--that's just what I do.

[Gigabitch]

Personally, I'd be running away, but as many people here know--that's just what I do.

Yeah, but you usually get a bit first.

[cheeze_guy]

u planted a seed buddy. u can either keep talkin and try to get this girl because she cant make excuses forever or u say if shes not interested now **** it but don't try to hold her against the times she "ditched" u or you'll be mad before u even have anything with this girl. Just make it happen and I'm sure u'll be happier in the end that u did

[Mathias]

Yeah, but you usually get a bit first.

Fair enough.

BTW--secretary girl is HOT today. Wearing contacts, hair down...damn. Mathias is happy, but dejected all at the same time.

[Gigabitch]

Hey, at least you have eye candy. If I want to look at somebody around here, I have to get up and go look in the mirror, and frankly, I don't find myself all that thrilling.

[Mathias]

True enough. Now, if her face would stop lighting up when I passed her office and said hi, that would be fantastic.

[Gigabitch]

Uglify yourself. You are way too cute to be walking around. It's irresponsible.

[Junket]

Uglify yourself. You are way too cute to be walking around. It's irresponsible.

You know what this guy looks like?

I'm hesitant to tell this guy to avoid her.

I wanna tell him to jump on that ASAP.

Bend her over that desk and shimmy up that skirt!




But, you're right, that would be irresponsible.

[Gigabitch]

When ConfusedLover comes back, he'll be really surprised to find Mathias shagging his boss' secretary in his thread.

[ConfusedLover]

my thread got highjacked!!! but in the best possible way!!! Sounds like Mathias needs to hit that!

Thanks for all the advice folks. I spoke to her based on some of this , she was sure how she felt about me but says she has her head sorted now. I believe her...that may be naive but i feel strongly about her so am willing to take the chance.

Thanks for all the help. Feel free to add any more advice though!

[Mathias]

You know what this guy looks like?

I'm hesitant to tell this guy to avoid her.

I wanna tell him to jump on that ASAP.

Bend her over that desk and shimmy up that skirt!




But, you're right, that would be irresponsible.

God, I want to.

She makes it a little harder every day (pun intended).

[muspi_2000]

oooh a sexy secretary..damn