Why do hot girls wanna be hot (and why are they so shallow?)

[Experiment]

What makes a girl 'hot', and who decides so? I honestly think the word is overused and overrated. Everyone's view of 'hot' is different. To me, it's not a very positive term. Beautiful doesn't mean the same as hot to me. Neither does cute. You're not born hot, and you don't grow it. It kind of just spreads like a disease within certain social groups. They travel in packs, and their fake tans seem to seep into the skin and takes control of their minds.

When I was in high school, I had a girl friend who was awesome. Very beautiful girl who was friends with anybody, despite their social status. Well, one day she started dressing differently. Her parents didn't want her wearing loose/baggy clothing and told her to stop being fat. She must've been 135 lbs. The next school year school year, she started dressing different and she was too skinny. She was wearing belly tees and short skirts. She was becoming 'hot'. And she slowly started hanging out more with the popular kids. She eventually stopped talking to her old friends completely.

Hot girls tend to go after a-hole guys who more than often don't respect women as much as they really should. These are the same shallow guys that you'll never see with a moderately attractive girlfriend. They both make each other look good. The guys are even more shallow though, always quick to find another girl who is even more hot than the one he's with. And I've heard hot girls say that they date guys like that because they can't find a real guy who's willing to treat them with respect. And because of that, guys with average looks don't really take girls like that seriously.

These are the same girls whose photos are used to make fake MySpace friend requests to get you to view their porn site. These girls didn't just become hot. They made it happen themselves. Excessive make-up, excessive hair styling, fake tanning, and most likely working out a lot. Yeah, keeping in shape is healthy, but I don't think excessive tanning looks healthy at all. It looks gross. Why do these girls want to look like this? These girls think they are god's gift to earth. Why do they purposely do it to themselves? If you want to look like a girl who recently starred in a porn flick, then stop complaining about how you don't understand why you have to date a-holes. And I hear the same thing over and over... that a hot girl lacks confidence and education and she feels like she needs a good looking man to make her look and feel better about herself. That's bull. They have tons of confidence. They don't need confidence when they look like that.

Unless you're after a sexy body, no average guy is going to take her serious. And it has nothing to do with confidence. Confidence or not, why try to go after a girl who is too in love with herself? The vast majority of these girls seldom ever give the average guy a chance at anything. And as an average guy, I'm not too worried about that either. I am concerned about 'hotness' overtaking our society though. A confident woman is lovely, but too much confidence can be a turn off. And the average women are being plagued by the 'hot' bug and because of this, the average guy, the 'nice' guy, won't stand a chance and may become extinct someday.

I once sent a message to a 'hot' girl on MySpace. I was really interested in her for who she was, and she had great interests in movies and music. However, after a couple of conversations, despite having similar interests, her side of the messaging slimmed down to responses of "cool" and "ok." Because of that, I lost interest in her. If she wanted to continue an actual conversation, she would write back. After about a week, I asked her if I said something wrong. I decided to call her bluff. I told her it was because she was too 'hot' to even associate with me. "It's okay. You're shallow. I understand." She defended herself and then said we probably shouldn't talk. I was fine with that. However, I wanted to prove something to myself.

Back in April, three friends and myself decided to conduct a little online social experiment on the 'ol MySpace. We wanted to find out if the majority of hot girls are shallow. This experiment consisted of myself, a guy friend of 12 years, another guy friend and his wife (we had to get a woman in on this experiment). We all created two (2) fake MySpace accounts each. One being a fake account posing as your typical 'hot' guy, and the other account posing as the average guy. All eight (8) accounts were set up to look like they had been active (by adding random friends and asking them to leave us comments to help out with an experiment). All profiles looked genuine. And we kinda sat on the profiles for a month not really doing anything.

A little over a month later, we were all together and decided on getting on with the experiment. We had established accounts with legitimate looking friends and profiles. Each of us were to try to make a friend connection with four (4) different types of 'hot' girls... from both of our profiles (average and 'hot' guy). That means between the four of us, 16 girls were contacted. We made sure the girls had logged in recently, and if we didn't get a response within a week, we found someone else (and when we finally did get a response from the original person, we just blocked them). To make this interesting, one of our guys' roles were reversed. The 'hot' guy was the 'nice guy' and the average guy played the role of the player/ladies-man.

The four types of hot girls we contacted were: the party/sorority girls, familiy oriented girls, eclectic/artsy/musician girl, and the "I'm a geek too because I play video games/read books" girl. All of our guys had similar jobs and were college students. Music interests were generally the same as well. Average guys tended to be more into average guy stuff: books, video games, movies, comedy, etc. Hot guys tended to be more into their cars, hot girls, models, clubbing, etc. The girls we contacted seemed to be generally nice people according to their profiles. Some claiming to want to meet anyone who's nice enough (yeah right).

The results seemed to be like this: Most of the party/sorority/drunk girls seemed to favor the hot guys even though they expressed interest in other hot girls and hinted at sexual advances, not trying hard to make decent conversation, and mostly throwing "you look hella fine" here and there. The average guys mostly didn't stand a chance. Attempt at conversation about her interests started up fine, but the conversation faded after a week or two, which made it easier, not having to keep in touch with so many girls. The average guy being the player seemed to get a better response from the girls, but still got dropped. The hot guy playing the 'nice guy' just got better conversation responses from the girls.

The family oriented girls were the ones who expressed interest in being close to their families and had pictures of them with their families. At least two of these girls were country girls from the south. Southern hospitality? Maybe.... These girls seemed to be pretty friendly but the advances coming from the average guy were not appreciated, and he was dropped. Advances from the hot guys were often responded with "you're sexy too." All of the average guys lost out on this one, and some of the hot guys eventually got dropped (my friend's wife got a little too dirty).

The eclectic/artsy/musician girl. The girls with rockstar hair, fake blood used to imitate cutting, and self-proclaimed hippie (who didn't look the part at all) who plays acoustic guitar. These girls favored the average guy more because he won her over with discussion on guitar playing and same concerts they went to. Hot guy was less popular here because he didn't really talk much about music that much. However, when both guys started being flirtatious, the hot guy won and the average guy was told that she's seeing someone (by at least 2 girls).

(continued...)

[Experiment]

(....continued)

Finally, the "I'm a geek too" girls... with their breasts stretching out the "I <3 Geeks" across their t-shirts, making it look like it belongs on a balloon instead. Average guys tell these girls "Hey, I'm a geek" and they make geek conversation. I like Adult Swim too! Did you see the Aqua Teen movie? Yeah, me too. It was alright. Hmm. She likes geeks, but 20 of her top MySpace friends are hot people. Four of them are average, and one is her cousin (a comment from her read "hey cuz")? Of the four girls we collectively contacted, one actually owned a video game console, and one couldn't explain how she was a geek, other than "I just am, you know?" Average guy was winning! Hot guy didn't make any reference to being a geek (or liking them) but mentioned that he does play sports games on XBox 360. When hot guy mentioned to the girl that he would love to have her over and play games together, three of them said they'd love to, and the other one said possibly after they get to know each other a little bit more. Back to average guy though. Average guy invited the girl to join him in video game playing as well (even though hot guy already asked). The girl that asked hot guy to wait awhile totally shut down average guy by telling him that she doesn't meet guys from online and then tried to change it to her just getting out of a relationship and she doesn't feel like meeting guys even as friends, but still offered her MySpace friendship. The other three girls seemed really hesitant, either avoiding the question and changing the subject, or saying that they don't know about meeting in person, at least not now (with one of them getting dropped completely, and it wasn't even 'player' average guy). Hot 'nice guy' was the definite winner though. But still, two average guys got shot down.

So we concluded that no matter how nice any of the girls seemed, all the average guys got shot down (with the 'player' average guy getting more attention). The hot guy was the big winner, even though he mostly seemed more interested in her nice body and getting to meet her too quickly. So based on this experiment, hot girls are shallow! Being a hot guy with no personality will win you a hot girl. Vice versa, no chance.

Oh, and we decided to mess with one of the girls (I forgot which group) when my friend took both of his guys and reversed their photos. He told her that both were doing a social experiment and that both guys were actually friends who decided to switch their pictures around to see who got more attention. She bitched both guys out and claimed she wasn't shallow. However, three days later, my friend called me saying "Get this...." The girl wrote back the guy who now had the hot guy's picture, apologizing for shrugging him off and wondering if they can be friends again. Nothing was said to the guy who now had the average guy's picture. So he messaged her back saying neither account was real and that she basically outed herself as extremely shallow. We made sure she read it first before all four of us decided to delete the accounts.

In the end, hot girls will defend themselves and say they are not shallow. They are not female players (and some will say they are and that they're damn proud of it). They are nice girls and they have feelings too. Maybe they want guys to know that all hot girls are not so bad. This may be true, but if it is, do you really want to try your best to look so hot? Do you have to get ready and go out looking like you're going to a porn video shoot? How are we supposed to take you seriously? You want to be taken seriously by us, but you continue to primp yourself up for the guys that will treat you like nothing more than a sperm recepticle until they find a better shaped one and toss you to the curb.

[Junket]

All that experimenting to prove something we all knew from the get-go?

[vashti]

Boy, guys can be dumb. Who would spend five minutes investigating the obvious when you could have been doing something else? If you are so jealous of the cool guys, why don't you step away from MySpace, and get out into the world so you can meet people? You know: work on improving yourself so that you can be seen as desireable, too?

For the record, all of these girls are idiots if they were actually willing to meet any of these males after such brief conversations over the internet.

[Tiay]

I read the entire thing (wow)

It's a bit creepy that you got sooooo into it, but it's one of those things that you muse about but nobody actually does, so it's interesting that you really did it. Were the results really so clear-cut, though? I'd imagine there'd be some vagueness, people don't conform to such general labels.

I wanna say something though; I don't think i'm a "hot" girl by your definition. I don't wear makeup, fake tan, I don't give a shit about what I wear, I don't drink/party either, all my clothes are mostly handmedowns or sale items. You'd never call me shallow. But I'd still message back the hotter guy, unless he was an a-hole. Relationships just don't work without physical attraction!

that said, my bf isn't just attractive, he's exceptionally smart.

I also disagree about the confidence thing. It's way too easy to say something like.. that person has great looks, therefore they must be confident. Dude! Maybe they're that way BECAUSE they're not confident in their other abilities, so they rely on their looks- and are actually afraid of smart guys, so they put up with the a-holes instead. Often when people do themselves up excessively it's because they're insecure to begin with.

[Only-virgins]

Cliff notes please.

[Junket]

Cliff notes please.

Read the last paragraph.

Actually don't bother, it's not worth your time.

[DoesntMatter]

Was this huge ass post an "experiment" of some sort, btw? All I read was the first 3 paragraphs or so and the last one.

Hot girls tend to go after a-hole guys who more than often don't respect women as much as they really should.

That's because those girls don't deserve respect.

On a side note, just because you deserve something, it will not affect your chances of actually getting that thing. Doesn't life suck? ...Just kidding, as long as the laws of physics apply equally I will be content.

But the girls you speak of... I've always imagined them only being good for ****ing and then tossing aside when you're done. I met a girl who had the most attractive personality ever who also had a stunning appearance. Attraction on all levels!

[Experiment]

@ Frasbee: Yes, I know. We all know. But it wasn't 100% about proving they are shallow. I was hoping to dismiss the stereotype, but from my 'experiment', it's become a fact. There may be hot girls out there who are respectful and who are not shallow, but even so, wanting to look like a tramp is just being disrespectful to themselves, and I wouldn't want that in a woman.

@ vashti: Jealous of the cool guys? I don't think treating women like sex objects is cool (unless you are intimate with her and she wants it that way). I don't try to meet women on myspace for relations. I have met them online for friendship. It is easier to pre-screen someone online than to meet them in person without a clue of who they are. It's 2007, and the majority of people don't go out into the world to meet strangers the old-fashioned way.

You go to bars and clubs to meet just the very people I am talking about. The shallow men and women. The guys and girls who go to these places are all the same. They go there because they know they're going to find a hot piece of ass, and that they don't have to search for long. No decent person would try to 'pick up' someone at these places to find women of intelligence, and frankly, people think it's strange when strangers approach them in public. The kind of girl I'd like to meet comes around once in a blue moon. I'm fine being single, and I don't need to work on my appearance. If someone has a problem with what I look like, then I'm glad to have not met them. I've rushed into relationships in the past, and I'm ready to just take things slow. I'm not off the market, but I'm not advertising either. Oh, and this experiment lasted over two months by the way.

@Tiay: I do creepy things so others don't have to, haha. Our final 'report' was really just "Okay, they're pretty much all shallow." The last girl made it really clear. We really just did it for ourselves, for fun kinda. I felt kind of strange lying to these girls, but the end results made up for it. As for labels, are you talking about my "four types" of girls? I mean, there are more types, but we just decided to find four of them. The party girls seemed to be more into gangsta rap and their friends seemed to consist of white-boy thugsters and the diva/princess type. Oh, how I love tramp stamps and shorts/undies with text printed on the butt, as well as MySpace glitter flowers and strippers. Where was I getting at?

Maybe the results weren't 100% clear-cut, but it was obvious which one of the two guys were winning. Each guy made about the same amount of money and none of them were asked what kind of car they drove, but they were to be similar. I think "hot" is overused and has become a derogatory term in a weird way. If it means having to be extraordinarily attractive to make up for not having a personality other than "party" or "drunk", then why would someone want to be "hot". Paris Hilton killed "hot". If I'm attracted to a girl, she's either cute, pretty, beautiful, adorable, or lovely.

You generally sound like a nice person, but I certainly wouldn't stop talking to someone if someone more attractive came along. What if you met a guy who was more attractive than your boyfriend, with the same personal qualities as him? Would you think of the new guy as a hardware upgrade? It's something we have to deal with in human nature. It sucks. We can't control love or attraction. If someone likes me and I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with this person, I will at least pursue a friendship if we connect that way. Physical attraction is a must, but I've found myself to become physically attracted to someone I wasn't physically attracted to in the first place, by way of their personality and the degree of fun we had spending time together.

You'll never get a girl like that to admit that they lack confidence. They may step all over you for being less attractive before you get a chance to exploit that flaw within them. If I approached that kind of girl, she may be more uninterested in the fact that I don't speak "party" rather than being afraid of my intelligence level.

And I do have some very attractive female friends who have great personalities, and who are very funny girls. Unfortunately, they are taken. But they are dating the average, nice guys, even though they could probably get anyone they wanted.

@ Only-virgins: I'll get on that right away.

@ DoesntMatter: First 3 paragraphs only? I think your username says it all, haha. But I'll have to agree with you on the "****ing and then tossing aside when you're done" comment, but wouldn't that just make us sound horrible, possibly shallow? Perhaps they demand to be degraded, so then it's okay to view them as nothing but pieces of ass? Does that make us a-holes? The average guy would be just as guilty as the shallow guy for using these girls just for sex, but at least the average guy would give her a chance to prove she is not heartless. I think it's mostly the curiosity of having what we can't have (or don't necessarily want) for a little while. I don't want an iPhone, but I'd like to play with it for awhile.

[jurupa]

Like Frasbee said that is basically common knowledge and for me that is something I deal with in the real world all the time.

When I was in high school even though I was average looking I was not treated that badly by the "hot" girls. And in college I got treated worse by them and learned how to deal with them and it was fun to do this actually. And now I am actually getting better treatment from such girls.

From my own experience and knowledge, besides the good looking a-holes the "hot" girls go for they seem to be more looking for confidence than anything else and now it seems they are starting to value the nice guy more. But not the wussy nice guy, but the nice guy that can stand up for him self and has a touch of "bad boy" in him.

But as far as your thing on MySpace, that did not surprise me at all, because MySpace is basically high school on the internet.

[jurupa]

Cliff notes please.

Here you go:

A guy found out "hot" girls go for "hot" jack asses and did an experiment on MySpace to prove this.

[vashti]

I still think you are jealous because other guys are attracting the girls you would like attention from. Why don't you go look at the non-hot girls? I bet they'd be more receptive to being your friend (unless, of course, you are too shallow to date a girl who isn't hot).

[Jimmy1218]

dude that's a LOT of researching. But I do agree...most "hot" girls are mean idiots. i don't know why, but eh, things are just the way they are.

[Junket]

What if you met a guy who was more attractive than your boyfriend, with the same personal qualities as him? Would you think of the new guy as a hardware upgrade? It's something we have to deal with in human nature. It sucks.

I think I speak for most people when I say "no".

You're looking at this from the perspective that people are incredibly one dimensional. Take Tiay and her boyfriend for instance. Say a guy with the "same" qualities does come along, that she does find much more physically attractive.

Well, what does her current boyfriend have that the "upgrade" doesn't?

History.

A common past.

Trust.

Essentially she cannot really know this "hotter" guy until she spends at least as much quality time with him as she did with her current boyfriend.

But why bother?

Clearly she would have to break up with her boyfriend who she seems pretty content with, why go through all the drama for such a gamble? She can't know they're so similar until she goes through all the motions, again. And let's be real, they won't be exactly the same.

Humans create connections to other humans, and it's not as simple as trading in your old car for a new one. It's not all about having the good, but coping with the challenging. Otherwise there would be no human connection, everybody would f&#250;ck and move on. People would bail at the first sight of conflict.

And that being said, you've yet to really "prove" anything that isn't common knowledge.

[DoesntMatter]

Would you still be hating on the hot girls if they opened their legs for you? You see, I would be inclined to call *certain* hot girls sluts, owing to the way many act, but I feel like I can't do that because they wouldn't fuuck me. To be honest, I have nothing against them. I don't hold anything against sluts. But I can understand how "nice guys" (who are usually pussies trying to use their niceness to win over a girl, since that is their only redeeming quality) would get upset when they hear a slutty girl bitching about how she is treated. I think you would be justified in getting a little annoyed over that, because it misleads you into believing that niceness is an important quality that girls look for. But then you realize your niceness isn't getting you jack-shit...

It comes down to this. If you want to get a "hot girl", don't get more than a high school degree or go to a community college, start smoking weed, spend all your $8 per hour wages on a souped-up Honda, blast crappy hip-hop, go to bars and clubs and get wasted at least 3 nights per week, be a loud obnoxious bastard (a true measurement of so-called "confidence"), talk about nothing of actual importance such as politics or business, talk only of who is dating who and who is ****ing who, spend more than 20 minutes a day trying to "look good" (i.e. combing your hair and spending time trying to figure out what looks best for you, try on different clothes when you go shopping and give it more thought than you would on the SATs), spend all your free time socializing with similar types of degenerates, focus on acting cool until it becomes natural, do not get caught with the uncools since this will only compromise your coolness, make fun of innocent and unassuming people if it means raising your status OR (very common) exclude them from all your activities, be self-centered in nearly every situation, etc.

By following those general guidelines you can get a hot piece of ass.

Or just get rich. This way you can get either a gold-digger or a damn fine whore a couple nights per week. But the most assured way of getting rich involves getting into medical school or the likes, which actually takes some brain power. So it's a very different approach, but should work nonetheless.