How fast do you start loving someone?

[hermionegranger]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months now and... I really care for him! I care for him A LOT! I miss him like hell when we're apart and I don't want the time fly so fast when we're together and it makes me shiver when he hugs me, I have butterflies in my stomach when we kiss. He is so precious to me and I know he feels the same for me.

One evening he told me he loved me and... I didn't know how to react. Millions of questions just flew through my head. And the main question was - isn't it a little early to feel love? I just couldn't help the thought. And it is still bothering me. We've been together only for 4 months!! Yes, I've found myself thinking that I love him, but when I start analyzing, it becomes so clear that it can not be love. It's affection, yes. But love...? Not yet.

So is it possible that he doesn't actually realize what love is and just thinks the feelings he has for me are love? Or am I just putting too much thought in this and should stop analyzing something so... emotional?

[Gigabitch]

Or am I just putting too much thought in this and should stop analyzing something so... emotional?

Yes.

In my experience, there's no timeline for it. I've been in different kinds of love. Some was sneaky love, where I didn't even know I was in love, and when I realized it, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've been in the kind of love that happens slowly, like a growing thing, and you can watch it getting bigger every day and it lasts a long time.

The guy I'm with now is the love of my life. I fell in love with him the first time he kissed me. Scared the hell out of me. I wasn't ready for it at all.


How did you respond to your boyfriend, hg? I hope you didn't hurt his feelings. It can be really risky to tell someone you love them.

[bohemiandonut]

Don't let anyone trick you into loving them.

[Gigabitch]

Don't let anyone trick you into loving them.

Yeah, beware of that. It makes breaking up really complicated.

[DarkDwarf]

Oh... and never say, "I will love you forever", 'cause... you won't.

The word 'Love' is thrown around too much IMHO, but like Giga said, there are a lot of types of love.

[hermionegranger]

How did you respond to your boyfriend, hg? I hope you didn't hurt his feelings. It can be really risky to tell someone you love them.

I said: "I can't tell you the same thing yet. But I care for you a lot!"
Was that okay?

And DarkDwarf - I totally agree that the word 'love' is overused and people just say it all the time without thinking. That's the reason I'm wondering about at the moment...

[DoesntMatter]

I loved Medal of Honor: Allied Assault. It died.

The only time I started to be put on track to possibly loving someone was after I had known her for about 6 months to a year, can't remember anymore and can't care. Of course it depends from person to person and situation to situation, but in general the longer you know a person and still feel that way, the more solid that love actually is.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love#Biology_of_love[/url]

There it talks about the biology of love. Apparently it increases levels of dopamine and the likes. Which makes me jealous that you bastards can do that naturally.

Don't get too stressed out about how to define love. Obviously people use the word in different meanings. Maybe a more accurate term would have been like you said affection, but he said love because that's how he defines it. Don't get hung up on details like that