how do I know if he loves me??

[trulyblesd]

I've been dating this man who's 39yrs old, since June07. We get along really well, and have been intimate. I am so in love with him, but of course, wouldn't say it 1st!! How do I know if he's in love with me? He never tells me how he feels about me, but talks allot about how nice our relationship is going, that he has no desire to date anyone else but me. That I am by far, the best woman in our hometown, and feels pretty lucky to be dating me..I'm so confused! Guys, please tell me, what do you think is going on in his head? He has been divorced, and so have I. He has also said at the begging of our relationship, that he's really affraid to let another woman into his heart.. I'm so confused!

[telx]

I think that he is getting to the love stage. I think that you will know when he is in love with you so be patient

[minta2]

Personally, knowing men (because i am one der) i think it won't work out. He is not that kind of guy. It might last for a while but he'll just back out.

[vashti]

It's only been a couple of months; I definitely think it is too soon to call this love. It's possible you won't get to know the REAL man until you've dated for maybe a year, nor will he get to know the REAL you for a while, either.

You are still in the "honeymoon" stage. I wouldn't consider calling it "love" until you've gotten to know each other well enough to have big disagreements you have been able to work through, you know (and like) each other's families, and you find you share similiar moral and financial values.

You are a *mother*. This obligates you to move slowly, because any mistakes you make will affect your children exponentially.

[trulyblesd]

yes i do agree with you on all you're saying, vashiti..
but, am i waisting my time with him? i mean, shouldnt his walls have dropped by now???? i still feel as tho, he won't even try to be volunerable to me... that's what is bothering me about this..
is this normal for guys to keep distance for a long time?

[ftheunion]

Dunno.

Love is a choice, not a feeling or a noun really. It is a choice to be truly other-centered.

[FireAndRain23]

i think you should pay attention to his actions men usually show you how they fell and totally listen to what he is saying lol he pretty much is telling you hes crazy about you ...saying " i love you" is sweet but actually feeling it is what really counts ...if you really feel that you are madly in love with him i dont think there is anything wrong with saying it but you should really take your time ..having him say it first would make you more secure.. so just enjoy the momment good luck to you and hope all goes well sometimes we get caught up in what we want and long for things and want things to be so emtional and open but everyone is different he might be easing into be patcient

[FireAndRain23]

i am sorry im a girl just realized

[Gigabitch]

i am sorry im a girl just realized

Don't be sorry. People post all over the place- half the respondents in this thread are girls. Don't worry.

[gartlas]

is this normal for guys to keep distance for a long time?

yes ,I think it is,maybe its the kind of person he is,maybe in the same way vashti told u to move slowly he is too,maybe he is worried about hurting u,(did his last wife leave him or vice versa?)I wouldnt worry about it too much,I mean if it works out it works out and ur happy,if not then shit,u just gonna have to pick urself up and carry on.but dont listen to me ,I'm a pessimist ,good luck

[ExpoNovak]

It's only been two months. If you are enjoying the relationshp and you are happy just sit back and have fun. Maybe it would be okay to use the L word at around the six month mark? I don't know, all relationshps are different and that is going to determine your comfort level and his. Don't expect him to let down all walls and become vulnerable after two months. No one in their right mind would do that and don't you do it either.

[straight&56]

I wish I were able to help every mature person in a similar situation on this forum - but I'm not sure I'm 'qualified'.

It's too important for you to rush into - it always is for any mature person. Take your time - I know it's difficult - but think of your heart.

Sounds from your post that he is keen. Love the moment and don't rush. Protect your heart.

Maybe he has been deeply hurt in the past and is being very careful to protect his heart.

If he appears trustworthy talk more about your respective histories without being judgemental and remain positive unless something crops up that causes deep concern.

Good luck - straight&56

[squirrley]

From my experience men take a little longer to develop those level of feelings. Theyre are stages to dating and youre just in the beginning of it. Some women tend to fall faster because its our nature and we see things from an emotional point of view where some men tend to analyze the hell out of the situation. Some men proceed with caution and its of no direct influence on you. Were wired differently and think differently. Nature of the beast.

DONT become discouraged because he doesnt tell you he's in love with you right away. You dont have to walk away from it either. Putting time lines on what you think should happen and by when sets yourself up for disappointment. Let things take their course.

You will notice things yourself as time goes on, in how he behaves towards you. Also the fact that there has already been one marriage puts a little distance in it, not that its a bad thing, but it will be his mind. I bet it takes a good year at least for some people to truly KNOW what they want out of the relationship.

Just keep in mind, as a women we tend to move quicker in a relationship than men(at least most women). We have the whole omg he's so amazing, the honeymoon phase thingy. Where men are like typically months behind us, it takes them awhile to catch up. Once in awhile its good to have a talk to see where you stand. BUT by no means dont push the issue or discuss marriage this early in a relationship let alone spill the I love you. Hmm hmmm....just let the relationship take a natural course, and if after some time YOU feel its not what you want, then discuss it with him, find something or compromise and by no means dont settle.

goodluck

[Junket]

Dunno.

Love is a choice, not a feeling or a noun really. It is a choice to be truly other-centered.

Oh shut up with that babble, you don't even know what you're talking about, much less experienced it.

[Babydoll]

i am a girl.. but i just thought it'd be good to mention that you show how much you love someone.. not say it.. because you can just say the words 'i love you' any day and to anyone. also i don't believe you can be 'in love' after 2 months. there are different types of love anyways so you could be in love with anyone unless you specify. if you're talking about unconditional love which may be considered as true love.. you love them no matter what their faults are and all that shit. i don't think you know many of his faults at the 2 month stage. i think you just have 'infatuation'. and i don't know.. but i'm guessing seeing as you have been divorced.. well you probably haven't been on the dating scene for a while so it's all very new and exciting most likely.