Need Help! Ex GF and me are talking again!

[xcwbyfan94x]

Hey everyone...let me kinda tell the story of what all is going on and went on in my life first...me and my ex started dating in 9th grade of high school. We stayed together all throughout and into the first year of college. She wanted to move in with me because her mom was moving an hour away from where we live now, so she did. We lived together and things got sour. I was a bit controlling, and she hated it. She eventually cheated on me with some guy at work. She moved out, and I basically broke down. I went into a state of depression for about 3 months. It has been 7 months to date since we broke up. I still have never really gotten over her. I still love her, even after what she did to me. Yesterday her and her boyfriend broke up because she was texting me telling me that she misses me. Her boyfriend ended up texting me and we got in a huge fight about it. Needless to say what happened happened, and they aren't together anymore. She just now texted me yesterday telling me I hope I was happy, that they are broken up. Then is when it happened. We started talking, about everything. She eventually started asking me when I worked now, when I went to school, etc.. We went to lunch today and it was great. She said she had fun, and wanted to come over to my house tonight to watch the football game on tv. I am so happy I could almost cry right now, but I don't know what to do. I love her. I do realize what I did wrong, and I know I have changed. I just don't want what happened to happen again, I cannot go through another relationship being cheated on. I don't even know if she wants to be with me again, but she sure is giving some signals. What should I do...I really need some advice ASAP. Thanks!

[bohemiandonut]

People like you really ruin our whole philosophy here at the forum. According to our dogma, you should have:
1. Not still been in love with the girl who cheated on you 7 months ago.

Well I wanted to make a list but that's really about it. Anyway, my advice would be to really figure out why she cheated... inexcusable behavior really, especially if she was living with you. Do you really want someone in your life who is that selfish? She sounds like loads of trouble... more than she is worth probably.

Is the sex just really good?

[Illusional]

she's only missing the better parts of you.. shit if i were her, i'd tell her to cheat on you again because you're dumb enough to fall for her. never live in the past.

raverboy

[DarkDwarf]

Damn man. You should have ****ing BACAMO'd a long time ago.

[Illusional]

maybe it's because i'm a bit cold hearted during break ups... well that and i don't really care if i don't have feelings for a girl anymore, but i don't see how hard it is to get over someone. you come to the realization that they don't feel the same for you or that you don't want to marry this person and you move on. yes, you still have feelings for them in one way or another, but life doesn't wait for anyone... the clocks ticking.

raverboy

[Indus18]

Trust me when I say that you're only still in love with her because you haven't dated anyone else. If you really want to give it a try, go for it, and (here's a novel thought) just Don't be controlling.

But from someone who started dating a girl when she was a freshman in HS and whose relationship ended 4 years later, (for me, ages 17 to 21) when you try to get back together it never works, and she just takes advantage of you again and respects you even less. My ex calls me whenever things in her life don't go well and tells me she still loves me. I finally stopped taking her calls, and told her to stop calling, and I know in the long run i'll be happier for it.

I've been on dates with a few other girls now...none of them seem to click as well as it felt w/ her, but I know there is way better out there. Really....get yourself out there. You can do better.

[ExpoNovak]

You're going to go for it no matter what anyone says and I personally think that is healthy, even if for no other reason than to finally reach the "Holy crap, you're evil and I can't stand you." stage that precipitates healing.

And who knows? It could all work out.

And don't text fight with the boyfriend. That is immature as hell.

[okapa]

If you can hold youself emotionally, **** her then dump her again, that'll show her and you'll have fun...

Unless you realize that you can be without her again...

It's your emotions call : )

[Gigabitch]

Wow. You have an immense capacity for self-delusion. Your ex-girlfriend is using you. Somebody used the phrase "emotional tampon" a few months ago, maybe Lil'wing or Only-Virgins, and I think I've never seen a case where it could be better applied.

The only reason you're putting yourself through this is that you don't know any better. Indus18 is right. Date somebody else and you'll, hopefully, find someone who treats you with some respect. You're certainly not getting any from yourself.