Developing Feelings

[Evigan]

If you developed strong feelings for male friend, what signs would you look out for that he felt the same way? Would you take control of the situation by telling him how you feel or just wait and expect him to so say something if he felt the same way?

[Gigabitch]

I would drop hints and see if he picked up on any of them.

[Evigan]

Could you give an example of the sort of hint you would give?

[Gigabitch]

Depends on the situation.

Is he involved with someone else? Are you close? Would it be inappropriate to touch him? Do you see him often, etc.

I also notice that you didn't list a gender. Are you a guy? If so, that's a whole new set of hints to be dropped.

[Evigan]

Perhaps I should give some back story to this question. I am a man who has fallen for one of his female friends and I am trying to find out what the signs are that she might feel the same way. I don't want to a make a fool of myself and and ruin what we already have. The initial question was simply to try and ascertain whether it is likely that she would make the first move or if it is all down to me to tell her how I feel. Also, would it make a difference if the male friend in question was your best friends brother.

[GrkScorp]

fallen in love with your female friend.. well.. here's a hint..

If a woman thinks of you as a friend, you become a non-sexual object; like a lamp or a brother..

[Evigan]

Really, I suppose she is more of an acquiantance than a friend. Sometimes the way she looks at me or laughs at the things I say gives me the impression that she likes me and sometimes she seems to think of me as nothing more than her best friends brother. I'm getting mixed messages, that's why I need advice.

[GrkScorp]

O.K. kid, i'll say this just before I leave my house..

Google (Lymbic Cortex, & Amygdala). I want you to read very carefully about how they are different in men and women.

Men have two amygdala(s), roughly the size on an almond (amygdala, greek word for almonds). Anyway, WOMEN in the other hand, have their amygdala 18% larger then men!

Before I explain what the organ is resposible for, let me just say that in the human brain, 1% differences are (noteworthy), 5% differences are (of concern & significant), and differences over 10% are (remarkable). Now, this is a difference of 18%!!!!

So, what do these almonds in your brain do? Well, among other things like (facial recognition, emotional memory, auditory interpretation, and emotions, the most important feature of this organelle is emotional recognition and interpretation). People with Autism have anywhere from 5-14% smaller amygdala(s) then men; making them unable to regognize and express the simplest of emotions or function socially.

Women on the other hand are social-emotional geniuses. They can notice and understand (audio & visual) information and extract emotional information about it. In short, (women can read your body language, tone of voice, choice of words, delay in speech, facial expression, etc. and understand volumes about how you feel). This gives them a HUGE advantage when it comes to dating.

However, to them, they take this as a given, and try to be socially neutral (not direct), so instead try to give out (signals & hints) to males in an effort to let them know they are interested. Have you ever herd other women call someone a (bitch, or slutty?) that's because they've caught onto what signals/hints that woman is trying to give to a man they are attracted to. So women try to be as subtle as possible, thinking that men will catch on; but obviously as science shows, men don't have the mental ability to catch onto these hints, especially the subtle ones.

So, as a result, women who stick to subtle signals/hints are usually single, whereas women who stick to more direct methods and take initiative are able to communicate in a way men actually understand, and can pass the message along to the male brain that (i like you), thus leading to a relationship.

So, what can you do? Well, if you're still young (under the age of 26) the male amygdala still has the potential to increase almost (20% in size)!!! Like any other area in the brain (practice makes perfect)! Start using the amygdala and your entire lymbic cortex more often, and you can increase it's size, AND change the way the nerves connect, naturally making them more effective & efficient. Women naturally have a head start, but with enough time & effort, you can have a 2% advantage (20% > 18%).

So, if you really want to get better at reading the signals she's giving you, start looking at other women & men. You may want to find out which girl likes which guy, and pay close attention to all the interaction she has with him. Notice how she looks at him, what tone of voice she uses, what the delay is in her speech, what her body language is (posture, usage of touch, etc.). It may be all strange and pointless to you at first, but remember, you have to give it time.. and you will start to notice things. (You will start to see the different emotions her face has when she's around him, versus when he's not arround, her body, her voice, and you can move onto more complex areas).

The more complex areas are emotional response. She DOES things or acts a certain way, but now, how does she respond when HE ACTS? You will need to know: (1) What she thinks his actions mean, (2) If her response is calculated (well-thought) or non-calculated (instinctive). Based on this, you can tell alot about her already. Notice then how the male can actually take certain actions to force or (proc) certain responses from her. Once you notice this, you will note that the male can essentially create a whole series of actions and responses to (proc) her down a very well-calculated path, to do exactly what he wants her to do.

But, chances are, that's not the male you're going to be observing, because his amygdala is untrained and simply normal size (meaning he's stupid and a social-emotional idiot). But with enough practice, YOU can get really good at (leading) women, just by reading their (hints) and learning how to control your reactions, so that you give only (coordinated) responses that seem (natural & instinctive), leading the female to believe that you're not catching on and that she's in control of the social-emotional situation, (women feel very uncomfortable when they lose the one thing they feel certain they are better than men in, so don't make them feel like they've lost control of the social-emotional situation).

Anyway.. have to leave.. you've already made me late.. lol.. but I hope this was helpful.. get searching on Google.. and get into action with starting to notice and observe women and how they try to (hint) to guys, and try to (attract) guys..

[Gigabitch]

Even if she does like you, the fact that you are her best friend's brother may complicate matters.

I think you need to be talking to your sister about this.