To have the talk or not.?

[Pretender]

My Bf and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years and I genuinely love and care for him and before the big breakup I was in love with him, but not anymore. We broke up a little over 3 months ago and got back together after a month 1/2. When he broke up with me he was heartless and cruel, he did it in front of a friend of his and laughed half of the time, never giving me a reason why he wanted to end it. After 2 years I would of thought he could be a gentleman about it but I guess that wasn't the case for him. I caught him lieing to me over something stupid that he had made a promise to me for.

Right before the breakup he had been a real jerk to me and still can't tell me the reason why. The thing is when he dumped me and lied I looked at him like he was a completely different person than the one I had fallen in love with. The old Matt would of never of lied or of been so cruel. It was wierd how I didn't even hurt over it for the simple reason that he wasn't the same person to me. I told him when I was leaving that I wouldn't cry over him because you aren't who I thought you were.

But we're back together now and trying to make it work. But I don't feel the same way for him. I don't even trust him as much as I used to, I'm always thinking ok he lied to my face once he can do it again. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with him we just have this charmisma together but I am just so dissatisfied with the relationship. I feel like he will never fall in love with me again, and I won't allow myself to fall in love with him intil he will pledge his world to me because I'm not willing to get hurt over his carelessness again.

Should I just ask him if he will ever fall in love again because I hate to waste so much of my time on him if the outcome is just going to be the same. I dont feel he's mature enough for me at times. I would like nothing more than to love him with all the peices of my heart again and I did at one time but it was futile. We love eachother, we're just not in love.

So, in desperate confusion should I sit down and have a talk with him about where the relationship is going, should I just go with the flow and let things happen because I do love him, or should I just break it off because of my dissatisfaction?
Thanks

[sfalexi]

and I won't allow myself to fall in love with him intil he will pledge his world to me

He could lie about that too. Guys have lied about much less just to get to a girl.

So, in desperate confusion should I sit down and have a talk with him about where the relationship is going, should I just go with the flow and let things happen because I do love him, or should I just break it off because of my dissatisfaction?

Do you think you'll ever be able to fully trust him again? If not, then I'd say stay apart and save yourself the torment. If you're going to be wondering whether he's lieing to you all the time, or wondering where he was on this night or that night, and basically second guessing most of his actions, I don't think that the relatoinship would be worth that. There ARE guys out there who ARE mature. Who WON'T treat you like crap for ANY reason. Who will KEEP promises that mean a lot to you. Guys you can trust, and will be able to trust.

So why bother trying to get BACK together with someone who (and I quote) "When he broke up with me he was heartless and cruel, he did it in front of a friend of his and laughed half of the time, never giving me a reason why he wanted to end it . . . Right before the breakup he had been a real jerk to me." You gave him a chance. You gave him your heart, and he toyed with it. Why give him a second chance? I see no real reason except that you miss being alone. And we've ALL been there. EVERYONE has been there. Don't use THAT as a reason to go back to the decietful, immature guy who dissastifies you and will keep you guessing his every move.

Alexi