lesbian gridlock

[burningrose]

i met this girl in late 1997, 1998, I was 23 or so, now im 31, at a hairschool, we became friends because we had a few things in common, and started to hang out. she always had something going on, trouble with men, DRAMA, all the time, but she made me laugh with her sick sense of humor, other people hated her and said she was crazy, but we were still cool,she was always talking crap about not being with another, saying she would never do it, but me on the other hand was way more open, i wanted to be with a women, and i liked it, i knew she wanted me then, but one day i put us in a situation a hot tub, and we had sex, and have continued for years to be with her after that, no one knows or expects that she likes women, we mess around less when were in seperate love relationships, but now in my life im with my soulmate and he is a man. we both have kids. recently they but her on some kind on mental medication, we still take but i try to push her away, slowly but she wont go....calls my home like the call is urgent, and when i talk to her, she asks me what im doing......i think she will try to ruin my relationship.....since she ruined all of hers, and has no one to be happy with, i think she will tell my boyfriend we have been together before or some other kind of secrets, or do i feel like this because i know to much about her, ive witnessed some of her destructive behavior. i dont want it turned on me, i cant tell my boyfriend that ive been with her before he will laugh his head off, she not bad just crazy a lil..how do i get rid of her with out hurting her delicate feelings.....i almost forgot i masturbate thinking about her when im with my man, i picture my boyfriend giving her oral sex, and i instantly cum,,,,,whats tha matter with me

[Charlie Boy II]

great thread title, sound like an album name or something.

Maybe you can answer my question: how do lesbians differntiate sex and foreplay? I mean does it ever happen where one girl walks away thinking "we fully did it", and the other one thinks they've just been messing around a little. Do you have to get a certain number of fingers up there or anything?

Anyway, answer that and I'll give my advice on your situation

[burningrose]

sex is emotional it brings emotion its all mental, oral sex is sex, when you give your body to someone, no matter how u put, yea we did it......messes around what ever,ok lets just use the term make out is that better,,,,,,4 u women are emotional creatures and we will always be able to provide some thing a man wont,,,,,do u understand now

[Tedel]

You know? Whenever I talked with a gay friend (a schoolmate, who is gay since he turned 17 years old), he always told me to beware of lesbians. It seems that homosexual women are more aggressive than gay men and that they tend to respect boundaries less.

I don't think this is not anything you wouldn't be able to sort out just talking with her. Set the boundaries and have her accept that.

Now, if you are fantasizing with her while you are with your man, why don't you talk with him and ask for a threesome?

[burningrose]

i thought i waas past that, 3some stuff, i dont think i could actualy handle my man abeing with another women...im jealous a little, i want him to my self,,,,not sharing him with her

[Junket]

Make sure you don't continue to share yourself with anybody else either.

[Tedel]

Make sure you don't continue to share yourself with anybody else either.

Then this makes sense. Just break up with her and stay with him.

[Gigabitch]

Actually, if you can't tell him something like that, I'm not sure he's right for you. Who you were is part of who you are, and you shouldn't have to lie about it.

What would you do if she were a man, refusing to let go this way?

[Moonchild]

I agree with Giga; you shouldn't have to lie to him. Don't assume he'd laugh--and even if he did, it wouldn't be like he'd push you away over it or anything. Laughing is considerably better than other reactions, and at least he'd know. But supposing she does intend to let it slip--would you rather be the one to tell him, or her? I think she likes the drama, and the feeling of having a dirty little secret. You're trying to let go of the movie she's making in her mind, and she doesn't want that. But it makes letting go an even better idea.

[squirrley]

Wow you should tell him. If you truly love and adore this man and vice versa, he's not going to care. Does he know about your current friendship with her? The longer you dont say anything the more it will pose doubt in his mind. Like why couldnt you share that with me? Do you not trust me? Believe me, my husband hasnt told me things about past relationships which I later find out through his mom and sets things in my mind. Its important to tell him, yes its your past but it shouldnt have a bearing on your relationship now.

As far as she is concerned you NEED to tell her to back off! You value your friendship but you need some down time, youre not her caretaker anylonger. By allowing her to control the situation it sets you back from your current relationship. She almost holds it over your head. She's fully aware of your relationship and may have some jealousy issues but you have to set the boundaries!

[Charlie Boy II]

sex is emotional it brings emotion its all mental, oral sex is sex, when you give your body to someone, no matter how u put, yea we did it......messes around what ever,ok lets just use the term make out is that better,,,,,,4 u women are emotional creatures and we will always be able to provide some thing a man wont,,,,,do u understand now

No. I actually don't have the faintest clue what you're on about.

[Charlie Boy II]

Another thing I've always wondered: Is there such a thing as a lesbian "slut". I mean would a lesbian ever go, like:

"She's hot but I'm not dating that slut, she's growled out half the city."
"Fully, sister."

Seems to me that because she's not getting filled, sleeping around wouldn't carry the same kind of stigma.

[Charlie Boy II]

Can whoever deducted rep points for the above post with the comment: "his girlfriend left him 4 a woman" pls explain what the f-ck they are on about?

Also burning rose, can you answer my question?

[Moonchild]

I'll give your question a shot instead.

Anyone can be a slut. Sleeping around, no matter what gender is involved, is not a welcome thing for anyone who expects a stable relationship from his or her partner. I don't know about that wording, but I certainly wouldn't date a girl who's been in and out of bed with any and every willing female on campus.

You're so obsessed with penises, maybe you should date someone who has one. XD (Kidding, kidding, don't kill me.)

[Gigabitch]

I agree that sluttiness is not determined only by exposure to dick. I think there can totally be lesbian sluts. It's about having sex without emotional involvement, IMO.