Pathetic

[Elephant Man]

Okay, I’m going to make this as concise as possible because if I told this story in its entirety, you’d be reading this for a week.

I met a girl in a psyche ward at a hospital. I was there for severe depression, she was there for anorexia. I was seventeen, she was sixteen. I fell hopelessly in love with her. I left the hospital after a month, and haven’t seen her since. I kept in touch with her for a while on myspace and facebook, but she no longer gets online. She has since moved on, gotten a boyfriend, and severed all contact with me. I haven’t seen or spoken with her in over three years, but am still as much in love with her, if not more than I ever was. I have become obsessed with her. I think about her constantly, dream about her almost every night, and have conversations with her in my head. Sometimes they’re one-sided, sometimes I make up her replies. I write her letters tens of pages long, only to throw them away. My friends have become distant because they’re sick of hearing me talk about her. I have been unable to date or have relationships with other girls because of this. She has been so deeply engrained into who I am that if I were to suddenly stop loving her, I wouldn’t know who I was anymore.

I realize I’m pathetic, so you don’t have to tell me. All I want to know is what I can do to recover from this insanity. I want to have a normal life again. Please help me.

[vashti]

She has been so deeply engrained into who I am that if I were to suddenly stop loving her, I wouldn’t know who I was anymore.

This is the root of your problem. I honestly think you are going to need to seek professional help to get through this. People with clinical depression often have problems with OCD, and it looks like this may be the case for you.

I wish I could be more helpful.

[Gigabitch]

You mental, obsessive ****. I'm surprised her memory is strong enough to carry the weight of your entire life without buckling. No, wait...not surprised, because the person you're in love with is a figment of your own imagination, she's like an avatar you use to face real life. You've used "her" to distance yourself from everyone else in your life, and the reason that's in quotations is because this fixation has absolutely nothing to do with the girl you met beyond a superficial resemblance. Basically, you've used her like a blow-up doll. Do you see this?

If you really, truly want to leave this insanity behind you, you have to engage the outer world. Meet real people, one of whom is hopefully your new therapist. With real relationships will come real attachment, and you'll be able to let this fiction go.

Of course, real attachment comes with the real possibility of real loss. With Fantasy Girl, you never have to worry that she'll see your flaws and dump your weird ass.

Hey, there's an idea. Try imagining that the girl breaks up with you. Or even better, YOU break up with HER.

I know I sound like a total bitch, but I actually care about pathetic weirdos like you, so please listen to the advice to seek a therapist.

[Michael6084]

GO TO THE GYM. i've said this in previous posts, but many people end up taking medicine for depression and whatnot. a lot of times you can go to the gym, get a real good workout or weight-lifting session, and feel naturally better about yourself. your body naturally secretes hormones that make you feel better about yourself. not only that, giving strength and/or endurance to yourself gives you confidence that lasts to wherever you go. it's just a fact that you usually won't see a depressed athlete unless if they are perfectionists and want to be the best of the best.

i turned to exerices and the gym after a 3 month period of consistent depression about a year ago and was very close to suicide, but i obviously didnt. you have to open up and see the good things in life. the gym and/or exercise helps you achieve that.

the problem with medicine that treats depression is that you end up having to take the medicine regularly, otherwise you'll end up WORSE than before you took the medications. i highly suggest working out first and getting a good routine set before meeting up with a professional. when you still feel horrible despite going to the gym around 3-5 times a week with good physical activity, THEN go seek professional help.