What should I do?!?!?!?

[Jbleezyj]

So theres my ex-girlfriend right. We were together ~3 years ago but since we broke up we have become best friends. I mean we are really close. So anyways she just got out of a relationship of about 1 year and four months. She is like depressed and so sad and just wants to be loved and cared for again. So anyways while as me being the best friend I gotta help her through this problem shes going through with the break up and I got to cheer her up and stuff so we've been hanging out a bit more lately. So anyways shes never felt like this before and keeps saying that she just wants someone to hold and be with again and feel cared for.

So we were talking late last night just lying down under the stars having a conversation then she says. "You know, everyone always asks why you and me are not together." I said yeh everyone of my friends and stuff ask the same thing. I then said yeh but I think you and me do make a good couple though just the way we get along and stuff. She says "yehh you think so? It's funny though because your like a brother to me now."
I'm like yehh we have gotten really close.

So as we were lying down she was just like "I wish I just had someone to hold my hand and to cuddle with and stuff. I miss it so much." Me in my head I am thinking wow this girl is really feeling depressed and wants to feel cared for again. I think it's some sort of hint to me like yehh she wants me to hold her hand and cuddle with her and stuff. So anyways I know shes going through this breakup stress and stuff and no I do not want to be a rebound or her little cuddle buddy toy thing. So after a short pause of silence I said "I really do not know what you are going through right now but yehh." lol I didn't know what to sayy

I mean I like this girl I really do think that we could be together but if something were to happen I wouldn't want it to be right now. I also do not want to risk what we have. She just got out of her relationship and loves her ex-boyfriend. I don't want to her or see her cry about this guy if she wants to be with me. I'll be a damn rebound to help her get over it. Though I don't even know if a relationship is what she really wants. She says she needs sex too.

So I really don't know what she is trying to do with me or wants to do. I do care for this girl but wouldn't want anything right now because of her situation. This was just way to sudden also I don't know if I want anything period even though we do seem perfect for each other.

Should this situation even bother me? What should I do? Should I just not do anything and just talk to her as a best friend as I always have been? I do not even want to try anything because I know she is very vulnerable right now and it's just that shes feeling lonely and wants to be pleasured and cared for. So I do not want to be this little boy toy or rebound. What should I do? What should I tell her? What do you think of the situation? What do you think she really wants?

[Mish]

I think a better question is what do you really want? You mentioned the posibility of rebound is there, but you don't really want to be the rebound. Yet you sense this is something that she needs to be happy at this point in time. So, what do you want to do? If you do nothing she will probably find a rebound somewhere else, depending on how badly she wants it, you may not be able to stop her. Would you be able to sincerely be happy for her that she got something that she wanted and not from you? Would you be okay with being a close friend while she goes through this?


What were the reasons for your breakup in the first place? (And how old are the two of you?)

[Jbleezyj]

I don't know what I want. I mean that I do care for here and all but I'm not sure if I want to risk what we have now. I just talked to my sisters friend who talked to my ex about me and she told me that she said does think about us a lot. So I know that she does care for me and have a little feelings but it's like those feelings also being pushed by the need of a rebound I think. There is this guy that is trying to take her out on dates and stuff but she says that hes not her type and she doesn't want to do anything with him. I am not sure what I want I mean I am talking to this girl right now but it's just a fling thing because shes moving away in a week lol and I was just recently introduced to this girl who thinks im hot by Jessica also LOL how funny. So anyways It's like I'm not sure what I should do. I mean I know I would be happy with her and all but do I want what I already had or do I want to experience new things and new girls? You can't really answer that question of mine but I'm just wondering if there are any girls or guys who have felt the way she has and if they had done anything with there close friend after a recent break up if it hurt them or changed anything or if they regretted it. We're both 18 by the way.

[Jbleezyj]

bumpp LOL help me outt

[DarkDwarf]

I'd date her, you have her in the palm of your hand. Though it's all specific to how I am feeling right now. It's up to you. We cannot make the decision for you. I don't know exactly what you want, and I can't help you until you know what it is that you want.

[vashti]

She said you are like a brother to her. i don't know about anyone else, but I wouldn't date my brother.

[xmoongirlx]

Definitelty she makes it sound like she's looking for a rebound, and being the rebound it's not good LOL, it's pityful! Don't let yourself get into that mess! Tell her you're there for her, and as a BROTHER you'll help her through it!

Unless u want to be the reboud! But let me tell you it's not worth it. At the end u'll feel empty!

[Jbleezyj]

yehh I think ill just keep things as it is. I like things the way they are now anyways. Plus I want to see other women and what else is out there and have a good friend like her. Thanks.

[Gigabitch]

I can't remember who first used the phrase "emotional tampon" here on LF, but I think it applies.

You know you're going to be the rebound guy, so I think you're making the right choice to stay away. If she really wanted you back, she'd be saying things like, "How could I ever have let you go?" and "Please take me back, I've missed you every day since we broke up." Instead, she's just pining away for "someone".

Well shit, that could be anyone. Not very flattering, is it?