Flirting with a guy while out with guy-friends?

[Melinda01]

So here how it is:
I am 26 and my friends consist of men mainly...to put it straight, I have just one female friend that I can go out and have fun here in Sweden! This has caused me to find it hard to flirt with a guy that catched my eye in a bar. He is working there as security man...I have been there some times and the last time it seemed that the eye contact was so intense on some occasions that on the first I couldn't help it but smile and the second one I thought he wanted to tell me something. But the problem was that I was there with two male friends...both of them trying to flirt with me in a way and it would be really rude for me to openly flirt with "my man"...I really need to go there with a female friend or with a larger group of friends...the problem is that my female friend has a daughter and can go out every second week...though she uses to cancel our "dates" nowadays cause she's found a boyfriend...so I need to wait two weeks for her and hopefully I will get to go there with her...and I don't really have large groups of friends. I have most men friends that we use to go out just me and him...

I really really want to go there next weekend but my female friend has to stay home with the daughter and my close male friends will not be able to join me...so I'm left with the guys that use to go out with me one-on-one...and possible fancy me :-/ I have thought about going there by myself...but I think that I won't be in the mood for flirting like that...or find an excuse to go there...or something! I can't wait two weeks...Any ideas please? It would be really really appreciated

[Gigabitch]

But the problem was that I was there with two male friends...both of them trying to flirt with me in a way and it would be really rude for me to openly flirt with "my man"...

To clarify: friends don't act like this. These guys are not your friends. You can call them "male companions" or whatever, but it sounds to me like you have very few friends at all, if any.

I suggest you go into the place pretending to have lost something, a scarf or a purse, maybe. Give him your phone number in case the lost thing turns up. Don't stay long, you're not a barfly, but make the time you're there count. Be really flirty, and make sure he knows you're going home to watch movies by yourself or something that will make it sound like you're completely available.

[Mish]

Yeh, why go there with a friend at all? You could come up to the guy and offer to buy him a drink yourself. Instead of spending weeks of planning to get his attention, this would be so much simpler. We live in a new century and that kind of behaviour is very normal. Have a chat with him and you'll quickly know if there's any chemistry there.

Don't believe that every single man is a 100% old school conservative male. Secretly a lot of guys fantasise about being approached by a girl. Also, taking into account that he may hesitate approaching you due to actually working there and it might be considered unethical for him to initiate.

[Melinda01]

thanks for your replies!

Gigabitch, it is true what you say. Since I moved in this country I have made just 1-2 good friends but other than that I have just companions. We are not really friends with all the guys I'm going out. Or maybe should I say...I would surely be their friends but I doubt that they have the same intentions...most of them anyway!

But thanks for the hint! This is actually a good idea to go there and pretend that I've lost something. I really need to be in the mood so that it is believable though hehehe

Mishanya, I have thought about that as well, to go there alone...but it doesn't feel so...ehmm..."cool"...for the same thing that Gigabitch sais, I'm not a barfly and this is how it might seem if I go there all alone..

Now that I'm thinking about it I think that I missed the chance to talk to him last time. It was during one of those eye contacts that made me go "hey there" but I'm so stupid that I didn't do it! I just stood beside him and looked in front, and he did the same...I'm stupid!

Do you think I should plan to go with a couple of people, even though they are male and jsut do my thing? Or would that be rude?

[vashti]

I think if I were you, I would take this opportunity to force myself to make a female friend, first because you need someone to go for a drink with you, and second because I think it is odd to not have any.

And yeah, I would never approach some guy working in a bar while alone. That is barfly behavior.

[Melinda01]

Vashti, I totally agree with you! I really really need some female friends! But how? I canät just go and speak like that to the swedes, they will think I'm crazy or something...:-/

[vashti]

Get a hobby in which you have to interact with other people... maybe a book club, or a running club... depends on your interests.

[Gigabitch]

Vashti, I totally agree with you! I really really need some female friends! But how? I canät just go and speak like that to the swedes, they will think I'm crazy or something...:-/

Maybe there's a group of non-Swedes you could meet up with.