sorry its so long, but i need help!
I ve been seeing this guy for about 7 months. Iam 20 and hes 33! We work together and thats how me met. At the beginning of the 'relationship' we both thought it was going to be a casual thing, being as tho we both (each within the last year) have gotten out of 5 year relationships. Him because he moved back to the east coast (and she didnt want to come) and me just because my ex was a liar! Anyways as the months went on we both unexpectfully caught feelings for each other. We never made our relationship an official " boyfriend girlfriend" type of relationship but came to an agreement that we each would do whatever we wanted, as long as we didnt have any sexual interactions with anyone except each other. The past few months have gotten more intense. Like hes being telling me " Iam the only one he wants" and " Hes scared of me because we have gotten soclose, close enough that I could potentially hurt him" . And I am with him 24/7!! We work 7 days on 7 days off at a hospital . The 7 days that we are on I basically live with him..on our off week he works 8am-5pm and I am with him from about 8 at night until he has to leave in the morning for work. then iam back again at his house a few hours after he gets off. So he (and I guess myself also) dont really have time to be seeing anyone except each other... well recently hes been going thru my cell phone when I am not around and seeing who has been calling me and texting me..and telling me "I cant go out with my guy friends, unless he says so" I know hes partially joking but he half way means it too. Anyways last sunday he took a night off of work and I had to go in. Like usual I was at his house all day and I left for work around 8pm..he was still asleep when I left. Around 10pm he called me and told me he was going to the strip club by himmself because he never gets a chance to go out. I told him OK thats cool and from 10pm until 2am we were texting each other. After 2 when the club closed he called me and we were on the phone from 2 to 5am..when he went to bed. I got off at 7am and went to his house. Since he was hung over, I knew he wouldnt hear me going thru his phone while he was asleep. I never wanted to, and i def didnt feel comfortable AT ALL! and the only reason i did it was because he was going thru mine so much. Well I went thru his phone and saw some text messages in his inbox from one of his exes ( the one that lives on the west coast) back in july and she was like " iam so horny thinking about you!!" I know it was a while ago, and i didnt get a chance to check his sent box to see what he said back to her but that was one thing that upset me ( AND she calls him ALL THE TIME!!!) And then there were some newer text messages from another girl (dont know if they went togetheror not but iam sure they ****ed at some time) that lives here on the east coast and they were making plans to see each other that sunday he went to the strip club! they never ended up going out "supposedly" because he "fell asleep waiting for her to get ready" there was also some from her from about a month ago saying "how much she missed him" and she was calling him baby. and she was saying he worked too much cause she never gets to see him anymore" anyways while I was going thru his phone he started tossing and turning so i put it back and waited till he woke up to confront him. I asked him if he was supposed to meet up with anyone that night when he woke up and he lied to my face and said NO. i was like you werent supposed to chill with anyone at all that night? and again he told me no. Then i told him i went thru his phone and saw that he was making plans with another girl. He told me that " yeh they were supposed to hang out but he fell asleep waiting for her to get ready, and the reason he lied to me was to get me to say i went thru his phone, and that she was nobody just a "friend" hes known since he was young" and they werent gunna do nothing but get drunk in her car?
I know iam not his gf..and i dont really care if he has girls that are friends..but I am mad that he lied to my face. It makes it so suspicious, and i cant help but wonder what else he may be lieing about. Should I been spending all my time with someone who SAYS his exes arent nothing for me to worry about yet they talk ALL THE TIME! and he was even having phone text sex with one of them not too long ago?! So confused!!!