Crazy about this girl

[djin]

Dear friends,

Well the title say’s it all: “Crazy about this girl”:
About 2months ago I saw this girl on my sisters anniversary party, and I thought I saw an angel 4 the very first time in my life. She wasn’t like the other girls that I met before.
So I asked her phone number from my sister. When I got the number I sanded some friendly messages (like: how are you and stuff like that, non-sexual). She replied and we had some good conversation.
We kept sending messages 4 about 2 weeks to each other (funny and friendly) and there was a little chemistry between us.
Normally I would call a nice girl within 3-4 day’s but with this one I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure of myself, because I really liked and respect her and I didn’t wane loose her or say something stupid and hurt her feelings (I thought she could be THE ONE).
Because I didn’t call here within those 2 weeks she did call me and then the problems started (not at the phone). At the phone we had a good conversation, but after the conversation that same night she send me an angry message about not calling her first. Well I apologist and tried to explain to her, but it seems that she didn’t wane hear the truth.
From that moment she wouldn’t answer my phone calls, and when I send a message she reply’s after 3day’s or sometimes a week. I read some questions & answers on the forums with a same problem as this. So I decided to not sending her anything in a week.
So after a week, she called me with a private number and did a prank call on me. She didn’t speak because it was an answer machine prank. Well it was a nice prank and after that call, she sanded me a funny message. When I tried to call her after that message she closed her phone, so I sanded her a friendly message. After that I did a prank call on her 2 and then it was the same play all over again, she didn’t pick up the phone or send late messages. I leaved some message on her voicemail without any luck.
I read a book about understanding women, and came to a conclusion that I was wrong, not what saying to her but not calling her at the very first time (that was a big mistake).
But we all learn from our mistakes don’t we .
Well I don’t know what to do, I’m going crazy about this girl, she turned my world upside down.
Any girl I see on the street, TV or somewhere else I think about her. She’s like a virus in my brain that crashed my entire HDD and non antivirus software can’t stop her ;o)
My friends say forget her and go further with your life, you will meet another one.
I know they’re right but I really can’t get her out of my mine. Sometimes I say to myself: just go to her door and explain her what u are feeling 4 her.
I’m only 23 and she lives about 95Km (59miles) from my place but that's not important to me at all.
Well that’s about it. What would you do at a situation like this?

Thank you for your time reading my story and sorry 4 my English (That’s the best I can do now :o).

[vashti]

I'm glad you learned from your mistake. Girls tend to interpret no phone call from a guy as disinterest. DON'T do that again.

I'm not sure what she is like, but if I were her, I might be persuaded to give you another chance if you came to my door with a small bouquet of flowers, apologized to me for not stepping up because you were a chicken, and asked me out on a proper date.

BTW - stop with the prank calls. You aren't 12 anymore.

[Mathias]

I'm glad you learned from your mistake. Girls tend to interpret no phone call from a guy as disinterest. DON'T do that again.

I'm not sure what she is like, but if I were her, I might be persuaded to give you another chance if you came to my door with a small bouquet of flowers, apologized to me for not stepping up because you were a chicken, and asked me out on a proper date.

BTW - stop with the prank calls. You aren't 12 anymore.

I like this except for the bouquet of flowers. It's a bit over the top for this point.

But, apologize, step up, and ask her out properly.

[djin]

hi there,
I really appreciate for the fast reply’s.

I know that the prank calls came a little childish but that’s totally over.
So the best thing to do is go over her house and apologize, right? Without she knowing that I’m coming over.
She still lives with her parents and sisters, so should I use the doorbell or just send her a message to come out? I’m going for the doorbell!

“I read this somewhere”:
Never ever send a message, postcard or email a girl, for asking her out. The best and proper way to do this is by the phone or when you see her.
If I had the change to ask her out on the phone, I was planning to surprise her with a picnic that I made myself (yes I can cook . After that some walking and talking. Is that a good idea for a first date? Or is it a bit over the top?

Thx again 4 the reply’s

[vashti]

It depends on where you live. A snow picnic sounds cold!

Yes, ask her in person, face-to-face. Tell her you like her, and would like to take her out. Flowers are optional, I suppose.

[djin]

It depends on where you live. A snow picnic sounds cold!

Yes, ask her in person, face-to-face. Tell her you like her, and would like to take her out. Flowers are optional, I suppose.

Thx Vashti,

Yeah I know it’s a bit cold to go out on a picnic (not so warm here in Belgium).
This seems strange but I was planning to go with company’s car, because it’s got a big cabinet in the back, enough place for sitting (perfect for picnic). Good or terrible idea?

After the picnic and talking, is it wise to tell her that I have feelings for her? I don’t want to scare or obsess her. What would you do, if a guy tells you he’s crazy about you on the first date?
Well I’m thinking to go over there next week. Because this week she at a friend’s wedding.
So wish me good luck.
All romantic idea’s and experiences are welcome.
I’ll let you know how it went. Hope I don’t end up in a hospital after the end of the date

[Mathias]

Flowers are optional, I suppose.

You know I'm right on this.

[vashti]

You know I'm right on this.

I am not saying you were right; only that *I* would be inclined to give another shot to a guy who brought me flowers.

Original Poster - DON'T divulge your feelings for a girl on the first date! You will scare her off. Dont tell her anything until you are 95% certain she feels the same.

[djin]

DON'T divulge your feelings for a girl on the first date! You will scare her off. Dont tell her anything until you are 95% certain she feels the same.

Just keep it simple and have a nice day with this girl right?
So what about the company’s car? Is that a good idea to have a picnic in the cabinet (because of the cold weather)? Or better save this for another time and just have a drink or dinner?
What a girl can make a guy do in this world (that’s called love oei oei oei))

Another question:

I was planning to go over there the next week, so in mean while I can better send nothing till that day right?
What if she sends a message or calls (don’t think she will), do I reply or just keep it cool and wait till that day.
What is the right thing to do? I have the feeling that she’s playing with me, and I don’t want to chase or have feelings for a ghost.

[SadieF]

If there's one thing I can tell you, it's make sure this girl doesn't realize how much you've overthought this theoretical date, because that might scare her. The picnic thing is in general a good idea, but given everything I don't know how comfortable this girl would be to be alone in a car with you in a cold place... I mean it depends on the girl, but for safety I think you're better off eating at a restaurant for now.
Impromptu visits are always very flattering... so that sounds like a good thing, plus it'll definitely let you know where she stands. And then the amount of guessing games should go severely downhill...
Good luck.

[djin]

Hi again,

First of all; I wane wish everybody a happy new year (a bit late for that, but just came back from holiday). Hope all your wishes come true for this year.

So what about the date? Well I didn’t go to her door!! Why not?
Not because I was afraid or to chicken. “Reason ?”
A couple days before I was planning to go to that girl, I was setting in a bar with friends for a drink.
I had a conversation with a friend that knew her. After a while I heard things that I didn’t like about this girl.
In the beginning, I didn’t believe the things that my friend was telling me, but when other people said the same things, it couldn’t be coincidence.

You should probably say: “you’re taking it to hard on her”.
Maybe I’m but tell me this; when a girl has the time to chat a lot with people that she doesn’t know, and has no time to answer your calls or phone message say’s a lot don’t you think.
So my interest for this girl are gone. I don’t want to lose her as a friend so we only send holiday messages.

Lately I was reading a couple books about situations like this and saw a video of David DeAngelo that changed my life.
“Never wine, bitch or complain….ever” and “Develop your awareness”.

So accept everything the way it is and move on with your life.

[Gigabitch]

Just curious- did you ever talk to your sister about her? What did she have to say?

[djin]

Just curious- did you ever talk to your sister about her? What did she have to say?

Yes, I talked with her about it.
She told me that not all the things over her were true.
She’s maybe good-looking, but I don’t like her character and personality.
I don’t want my sister to interfere, because that looks a bit childish.

“I thought she was an angle at first but then the devil came out of her shadow”.

I better move on with my life. If I keep winning about her I don’t go any further.
It doesn’t mean that a single person can’t have fun. Being single can be great to.
Now I got more time for myself, my career, hobby’s and lots of other things.

My motto for 2008: Do something new, meet new people, learn and teach others what you know, don’t waste your time watching soaps (watch learning channels), have a new hobby, travel and enjoy your life every day.

[Gigabitch]

Another motto: expecting anyone to be perfect is sure to lead to disappointment.

Just a thought.

[Only-virgins]

All this because you didn't call early enough!?!?! HAHAHA WOMEN ARE DOUCHE BAGS!

I would call or send a message(doesn't freaking matter) ... and simply and straight forward say ... "Hey, I like you but I don't know what the hell is going on anymore and why you are acting like this so I am done playing games, the ball is in your court now... if you like me than you do something now" ... and NEVER do anything else again....what...she is going to be a chicken shit now? Men have to be all confident all the time but women can be chicken shit 24/7 and no one should care? bullsheet.