Not sure what im feeling?

[nfgfan]

To give some quick background info:
I met my ex this summer and we starting dating, i had a great time with her and then when school started our relationship slowly started falling apart b/c of how stressed and preoccupied I was w/school. After being together for about 3 months i ended up breaking up with her b/c i told her I wasn't quite sure how i felt. I was torn, part of me liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, while the other half was kind of indifferent to the relationship.

We've been broken up for nearly three weeks, and the past week or so she began texting me and the cycle continued and i really began to miss her. Last night we were both a bit drunk and ended up texting each other and ended up meeting up.

I ended up spending the night, and we just cuddled all night(nothing more). And then from the time we woke up until late into the afternoon we just layed in bed cuddled and talked.

Being there talking to her, laughing w/her, cuddling made me really miss all the qualities that she shared and remember why i liked her so much. I just couldn't stop looking at her and hugging her, and I would have probablly wanted to stay there all day if she didn't have to go to work.

I don't want to be selfish in this situation and before going there I made sure to let her know to expect anything and that i didn't want to leader her on. I dont know if i did the right thing by meeting her up and spending the night, but i felt right laying next to her.

My question is, are these feelings normal based upon the situation? Being broken up with her made me realize i just don't want a relationship right now(until im finished with school) but at the same time seeing her last night/today made me want her in my life(and more then just a friend). Any suggestions on how i should go about this situation? has anyone gone through something similar, and if so what happened?

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for you responses, i really appreciate it

[SadieF]

The key here is make sure you only act on your FEELINGS rather than your IMPULSES.
Here's what I mean by that. Impulse is best defined as a "sudden, involuntary inclination prompting to action". Feelings, meanwhile, are longer-term and kind of creep up on you. Every day that goes by you feel your feelings more strongly, while your impulses kind of invade and then are gone within 24 hours (whether or not you've acted on them).
If you decide to get back together with this girl, make sure you are doing so based on feelings rather than impulses, as you may just as easily change your mind on a contrasting impulse, leaving the poor girl completely unable to trust you again.
Also, it seems to me that you owe it to yourself and to her to sit her down and explain where you stand (make sure you hear her perspective too) so that whatever caused you to break up last time, doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, if you decide not to get back with this girl, don't go doing this again because you'll leave her in stitches...

[nfgfan]

If you decide to get back together with this girl, make sure you are doing so based on feelings rather than impulses, as you may just as easily change your mind on a contrasting impulse, leaving the poor girl completely unable to trust you again.

I completley agree with that statement and that's a great point.

In regards to discussing the situation, we did so earlier today. I explained to her how i felt and likewise she told me she felt.

And as far as meeting up w/her, it was probablly a horrible idea. But after today i felt like i got a more closure to the situation, and I feel she did as well.

And i think the best thing is like you said, to see how i actually feeling, rather then going based of impulses.

[nuevo]

Don't get back together.

[nfgfan]

Im still not sure what to do.

The way that I felt when I was with her again is really making me want to give a "seconed go" w/this relationship with her. Just take really, really slow...

[Mish]

Spend some time being friends, then see how it goes from there. Don't rush into anything.

Remember the reasons why you two broke up will be there.

[nfgfan]

To Update:

Me and my ex continued talking, we finally met up again. We went to the zoo, which was really nice, and when I was with there i felt the feelings i first had for her. We continued talking and texting and i decided to give her a card w/my feelings and a christmas present before she went out of town(Dec 21). We texted each other everyday while she was out of town.

Well i spoke to her today(she just got back) and asked her how she was feeling. She told me she liked me still but she couldn't really trust me b/c of what i did to her, fearing i may once again change my feelings. And said it was probablly better that we not get back together.

Ironically enough, I'm now "crazy about her" and seem to really have strong feelings for her again, and she now doesn't want to get back b/c of the fear of it happening again. Karma, a bitch ha!

My question is, should i just let it be and let her go her way, and go my way. Or should i still be presitstant in trying to get her back? Or is this a lost cause?

Thanks in advance for your replies!

[TheSphinx]

Before you act, check that your "crazy about her" feelings aren't rooted in the fact that the good feelings(memories) are linked to her and also that the challenge of her not trusting you for a second go 'round isn't affecting your judgment.

I'd recommend skipping it, as it's not likely it will work out the second time.

~Sphinx