Surely I am not the only one...

[beanie]

Okay, so here goes.
I do not climax, ever. I have been with my bf for 2 yrs. and not once have I ever...it sucks really bad. Do you have to like teach yourself first, or should it just happen? I know that it aggravates him because he feels like he is disappointing me. I don't get disappointed, because the sex is still great, but I do want to know how it feels. I feel weird asking this over a forum, but I don't think I am the only one to have ever gone through this (at least I really hope not). Hopefully someone has some advice on how to fix this.

GUYS: If you couldn't get a girl off, would it aggravate you? Would it make you feel like she didn't want you or wasn't really into you?

--Need to know what the Big O is

[vashti]

This is sadly a VERY common problem, although you will be hard-pressed to get many males to admit it.

Yes, you will need to teach yourself how to orgasm on your own before he can do it for you. Do you masturbate? If not, you need to start so you can figure out what will "get you there". You may want to try out a vibrator. however, I warn you: once you have figured out how to do it with a vibrator, DON'T over-use it, or your guy will never be able to do it for you. Once you are familiar with the way the build-up feels, you will be better able to instruct your guy about what to do.

BTW - have you tried oral sex with him? Many women can't get off any other way.

[beanie]

Sadly oral doesn't work either, but like I said, it's still great!!!

[alb04]

I agree...invest in a good vibrator. That's how I learned how to have the big O. But I think vashti is wrong about over using it....I've never had a problem nor have I heard of anyone having a problem with that. Also...you could be open to using toys in the bedroom. I know a lot of couples that do.

[vashti]

Constant use of a vibrator will desensitize you to the touch of a man who can't compete with a battery (as far as longevity goes).

[TheSphinx]

I can't say that I would feel especially aggravated at a woman's inability to climax, but rather disappointed for her. On the other hand, bringing a woman to climax is, for some guys, on par with being able to get it up or have children, and so might be a check to their sexual self-esteem.

Vashti has invaluable advice in figuring out what it takes to get you there. In my experience, most of the women who had trouble climaxing only had to experiment and then learn how to really relax during sex to reach it.

There are also a ton of books with different finger and oral techniques for your boyfriend to experiment with as well. Good luck!

~Sphinx

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah that would definitely bother me. It wouldn't make me feel like she wasn't into me, it'd just make me feel like I was under-performing in the bedroom. I don't know which would make me feel worse, to be honest.