when trying to get over someone...

[Sensetive]

when trying to get over someone, what makes a heart killing memory of you two lose it's effect?

1. gets older and looses it's effect that way
2. thinking of it so much that it looses it's effect eventually

or something else if so lol

thanks guys

[blazinj06]

For me I think it was option 2. Me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago. I still think about it a lot but as the time goes by the pain becomes less and less whenever I think about it. The first month any time I thought about the situation I would feel sick to my stomach. Now I can think about it without it bothering me. It still runs through my mind alot, but it does not affect me like it did.

[Sensetive]

Thanks for your opinion no one knows the answer to this? =\

[Mathias]

when trying to get over someone, what makes a heart killing memory of you two lose it's effect?

1. gets older and looses it's effect that way
2. thinking of it so much that it looses it's effect eventually

or something else if so lol

thanks guys

It's the first.

Get out and stop thinking about it.

[Sensetive]

I actually am doing pretty good at avoiding the thoughts, it's just i was worried that if i didn't think about them much, they wouldn't loose their power against me and would continue haunting me, not that i'm thinking of them that much, thanks

[Gigabitch]

You get stuck in circular thinking, and then you spiral down into that sad place where you can do nothing but miss her.

Don't do that.

Whenever that painful memory comes up, think, "But now that's done, and I have the rest of my life to look forward to."

[Sensetive]

Thanks, it seems to me that when i go to think of them, i get pulled away from them, and it's hard to think of them.

not because their hard to remember, i don't know, just i get an irritated feeling when i try to think of them, than when i actually do, they make me sad. and since it seems to make abit of mental effort to do it anyway, that just makes it easier to not think about them.

Except when i see or smell something that reminds me of her, that still seems to have a big affect on me

[Gigabitch]

Thanks, it seems to me that when i go to think of them, i get pulled away from them, and it's hard to think of them.

not because their hard to remember, i don't know, just i get an irritated feeling when i try to think of them, than when i actually do, they make me sad. and since it seems to make abit of mental effort to do it anyway, that just makes it easier to not think about them.

Except when i see or smell something that reminds me of her, that still seems to have a big affect on me

Don't stuff it down, you'll just repress it, and it'll come back as bad dreams or mess with your head in your next relationship. Get through it, not around it.

[Sensetive]

I have already experianced the bad dream part, so should i think of them and learn to accept them? or at least try

[Gigabitch]

I really think you should give yourself time to grieve and then move on. Really, tell yourself, out loud if you have to, that it's over now, it's in the past, and that you have a future with wonderful things you can't even imagine in it, just waiting for you.

[Sensetive]

I try telling myself it's over and that, but deep down inside i'm not sure if realise it's completely over. I know in my head that it's over, but i seem to search my memory for little hints that it still has a chance, as much as i hate to admit that too. It's retarted and i hate it.

Sometimes i wish she would just send me a message telling me she hates me and we'l never be together again, just so i can start getting over her and feel the pain at it's greatest.

I can't do something like that to her because than i'll regret it and feel like it was my fault, and that i ruined something that could of been something, and it's always better knowing it's not your fault. which in this case it's really not, our relationship was miserable most of the time because of her.

[Gigabitch]

Sometimes i wish she would just send me a message telling me she hates me and we'l never be together again, just so i can start getting over her and feel the pain at it's greatest.

Why is it up to her? Who made her the Queen of Everything?

Maybe YOU should decide that you're not willing to be with her ever again because she made you miserable. Maybe this is what's holding you back. Take charge. Make the decision.

[Sensetive]

Alright thanks alot, you're right, very right

[Off2College]

Time heals...

when people on this forum told me this a year ago, I didn't believe them. But it turned out to be true. It took me basically a year to get over 98% of her.

[Sensetive]

Why is it up to her? Who made her the Queen of Everything?

my heart did, he seems to to overpower me no matter what